All I Ever Will Be
by Cait Mur
Summary: When Beth and Daryl find an underground bunker and a safe house, they finally have time to breathe and get to know each other. But is the safety a sham? Can they build a life together in this place? What secrets does this bunker hold? This story follows Daryl and Beth after they're overrun at the funeral home. Rated M for language and smut. Earlier chapters have been rewritten.
1. Chapter 1 - Escape

**All I Ever Will Be**

 _Chapter One - Escape_

* * *

Daryl Dixon found himself in quite the predicament. Backed into a corner of an embalmment room with no way out, he was starting to panic. A rarity for him. Killing zombies was the talent he never knew he had.

His heart was beating out of his chest as he held the metal table in front of him with outstretched arms against the heavy herd that had crowded into the small room. Dirty, dead hands scratched at his face, pulling at his hair. The gnashing of teeth was overwhelmingly loud, complimented by low groans and shrieks. This was what the world sounded like now - the living dead.

Daryl grunted, using his strength to try and push the table forward to no avail. He was stuck.

"Fuck," he whispered to himself, his chest feeling tight. He'd grabbed two make-shift weapons from the tray of tools beside him before they'd cornered him. Finding the needle, he instinctively sunk it into an eye of a walker. It stuck, disappearing as the body fell lifelessly to the ground. His fingers found the other tool, a scalpel this time, that proved faithful, taking down the walkers who were getting dangerously close.

He looked into the sea of bodies, fearfully staring at their blank eyes, their decrepit bodies fueled by hunger. There was only one way out - the door behind the herd.

"Fuck it," he whispered again, ducking and sliding out underneath the table, sprinting towards the opening, grabbing his bow on the way. Another walker came through the opening and he sunk the knife into its brain out of habit, pulling it out as easily as if he were serving a slice of pie. As he ran, he felt the presence of the monsters behind him, but kept moving, up the stairs and out the front door into the cool night air.

"Beth?" he whispered loudly, looking in each direction to take in his surroundings. The graveyard was mesmerizing in the moonlight, but Daryl didn't have the time to appreciate it. He slid into the trees, slamming his crossbow into the head of another walker, taking him down instantly. The adrenaline was beginning to wear off, replaced by anger. The pain of losing the prison was still so fresh that he couldn't help it.

They'd just gotten comfortable. They'd just been able to take a fucking breath. Started to think about starting over. They had a taste of normalcy and it was gone again. He stood in between trees, feeling lost and foolish. He shouldn't have put his guard down.

"Daryl?" He heard a familiar whisper through the trees. He spun around, letting out a breath he hadn't realized he was holding as Beth revealed herself in the darkness, looking panicked and winded. She lunged at him, wrapping her arms around his mid-section. Her tiny body was shaking and she sobbed incomprehensibly into his jacket. "I'm so sorry," she cried, pulling away, wiping the tears from her face. "I'm so sorry I just left you there - you could have died. I'm so sorry."

"I told you to run," Daryl said kindly. "And see - I'm fine." He held his arms out to show her he wasn't hurt.

She gave him a half-hearted smile, but he could tell she felt like shit. "There wasn't nothin' you could do anyway," he said, then as an afterthought, "How's your foot?"

"I'm fine," Beth said, "I'm just glad you're okay."

"Don't give it 'nother thought," Daryl grumbled, beginning to walk away through the woods. "We're both alive, so let's keep it that way. C'mon," he said nodding his head forward so that she'd follow him. "We gotta find a place to hole up for the night."

"Okay," she said, bringing her hands up to grab the straps of her backpack.

The two walked in silence, lost in their own thoughts. In the darkness of the night, the forest was alive around them. Moonlight shone through the slender trees, illuminating their path as Beth and Daryl trekked over stiff leaves and broken branches. They had no clear direction except _away_ from where they'd come.

Daryl was making a conscious effort not to let his anger overwhelm him, but it wasn't really working. He felt defeated and inadequate at the loss of something else. The funeral home had been a chance at hope for them - he'd seen it in the way Beth had looked at him when he suggested they stay. They'd needed something good. They'd needed to stop running.

"Here," Beth said suddenly, veering off to the right. She headed through the trees ahead of Daryl, leading him to the edge of a clearing where the trees stopped growing. She grasped the bark of a tree, her slender fingers holding onto it to steady herself. He watched her, her shoulders rising up and down rapidly as she caught her breath and peered out.

Past the tree, past Beth, Daryl's eyes landed on what she had seen. The tree line ended with a short hill that dipped down into a dark road. On the other side of it was an 18-wheeler stopped dead with its tailgate wide open.

Daryl came up next to Beth and started to load his bow. "It's somethin'," he said, suddenly recognizing his exhaustion. They could camp out in there, at least for a few hours, regain their strength and be on their way again. "Let's check it out," he said. "Stay sharp."

Beth nodded at him. He shifted his crossbow up to aim it at the truck, looking up and down the road before they wandered out from where they stood. Their surroundings were empty and eerily quiet, but Daryl didn't spend too much time thinking about it, quickly making his way down the small hill with Beth on his heels. They scrambled across the road and towards the truck as quickly as possible.

Aiming his weapon towards the back of the truck, Daryl squinted in the darkness for any sort of threatening shadows - living or dead. He could tell instantly that the truck bed was empty, so he let his arms rest for a moment, bringing his crossbow down to his side. Instinctively, he grabbed for Beth's arm so that she would stay right behind him, coming around the other side of the truck to the passenger door. He grabbed the handle and pulled, quickly bringing up his bow again to shoot if need be, but the seats were empty.

He hopped up onto the side stair of the vehicle, poking his head in and whistling to drive out anything they couldn't see. After waiting for a minute, he slid inside, turning to help Beth hoist herself in behind him. He shifted to the drivers seat, giving her some space and checking that the door was locked. He looked back at Beth who was taking in her surroundings with wide eyes. "Make sure that door is locked," he instructed her.

"Got it," Beth responded, pushing the lock closed beside her.

He sighed, placing his crossbow between the two seats and leaned over to look behind where they sat. A worn, blue curtain had been carefully hung from the ceiling of the truck. He peeled it back, revealing a small nook that held a few sealed, plastic containers, a mini-fridge with the door hanging open and to his pleasant surprise, a small bed. It was a decent enough space for them to get some rest, at least until the sun was up again.

"Hmph," he said triumphantly.

Beth had turned to check out his discovery and grinned at him. "Wow," she said. "It's no coffin, but I'll take it."

"Damn right you will," Daryl growled. "Get some rest," he demanded pointing to the bed. "Might be the last bed you see for a while."

"Would it kill you to be a little more positive?" Beth asked, crossing her arms.

Daryl narrowed his eyes at her, annoyed by the comment. "What's there to be positive about?" he asked.

"Well, for starters, we're _alive_ ," Beth stressed the last word, standing up awkwardly in the truck to move into the nook. She lifted her leg to step over his crossbow and swayed on her bad foot. Daryl caught her elbow with his hand to steady her. Catching her balance on both feet, she turned and sat on the small bed behind him.

"That's not sayin' much," Daryl responded.

"Well, we got each other," she said, wiping loose strands of hair out of her face and looking at him with her big doe eyes. She was sincere in what she said, her face trying to urge Daryl to understand that there was still some good in the world. He was still having a hard time with it.

"Guess so," Daryl replied, turning away from her. Her stares made him uncomfortable in a way he couldn't quite explain. "Get some rest," he said with finality.

"Yes sir," she said sarcastically behind him and he heard her shifting around to get comfortable on the feeble mattress. He turned his head slightly to look over his shoulder at her again, her small body curled up, knees to her chest. She looked so small.

"Goodnight Daryl," she said, sounding far away. "I'm glad we're together, even if you're not."

"You are?" he asked, leaning back in his seat and staring out of the dirty windshield at the darkness of the night around them. He sounded more surprised than he'd meant to.

"Yeah," she said sleepily. "I am."

Daryl smiled, despite himself, some of his anger subsiding. "Me too," he whispered, unsure if she could hear him - not certain if he wanted her to, and he closed his eyes, letting sleep take him away.


	2. Chapter 2 - Uncertainty

**All I Ever Will Be**

Chapter Two - Uncertainty

* * *

 _And again, the same dream - Daryl ran through trees and brush, stumbling over his own feet, away from the low moans and shrieks that rang in his ears. The forest was never-ending, the sun disappearing from his view. His body was moving too slowly, legs feeling like lead as he willed himself to run faster. They were on his heels, shrieking maniacally behind him and he turned his head, regretting it instantly but unable to turn away. There they were - Dale, Andrea, Hershel, Lori, Sophia - all of the dead he had come to care for, rotting as they ran towards him, flesh peeling off, revealing their bones beneath._

 _Their presence was imminent, but one was closer - he was always closer to him than the others - Merle. Daryl could feel his breath on his neck muttering, "Little brother," over and over again. His face was gray and gaunt, the smell of death surrounding him. There was no life left behind his eyes and even in his dream, Daryl knew it was impossible for him to be speaking, but still, he ran._

 _Daryl's heart dropped as he felt Merle's arms reach out and grab him, knocking him to the ground slowly. He was on top of him, his body heavy and strong, teeth clashing together, eager for a taste of him._

 _"Stop!" Daryl cried out, pushing him away, but it was no use. He reached to his back for his bow, but it was nowhere to be found. "No!" he screamed, covering his face as they surrounded him, lowering themselves to his open flesh. "No!"_

"Daryl!"

Daryl jolted awake, covered in cold sweat. Beth was standing behind his seat, her hand touching his shoulder apprehensively.

"Daryl?" she asked, sounding concerned. He must have been yelling in his sleep. Shit. "Are you okay?" she asked, bringing her face closer to his, examining him.

"Mmm?" he grunted, running his hand through his hair, feeling uncomfortable. "Yeah, I'm fine."

"You sure?" Beth asked, looking at him quizzically. "You were..." she hesitated, "yelling."

"I said I'm fine." It came out meaner than he meant it. "Just a bad dream is all. Quit your worryin'."

Beth held her hands up and retreated. "Okay Daryl," she said with a sigh, turning away. She thought for a moment, then turned back to him. "You know, it's okay to let your guard down sometimes. I'm not gonna bite."

"Pfft," Daryl said, stretching in the seat. "We let our guards down back there and look what good that did us!" he said. "We can't be doing that again."

"Doin' what?" Beth said, sound annoyed. "We didn't do anything wrong back there. It ain't a crime to think things can be good." She came past him, sitting in the passenger seat, rifling through one of the plastic boxes.

Daryl thought to himself, knowing she was right, but unable to shake the feeling of guilt. He watched her as she hastily shoved a few granola bars into her backpack. She was frustrated with him, there was no doubt about it and he felt pretty shitty about it. She looked up at him, flustered, raising an eyebrow. "What?"

Anxiety swept over him, his heart racing involuntarily as their eyes met and he tried to shake it away. It was a confusing feeling, but he'd felt it before - at the funeral home in the coffin, listening to Beth sing, and again when she'd held his hand. A strange sensation in his belly, like he was falling and his stomach was trying to keep up.

"Nothin'," Daryl finally answered, "I just wanna get us somewhere safe. Don't want you thinkin' we're outta harms way."

Beth scoffed at him, pulling her backpack over her shoulders. "I'm not stupid Daryl," she said angrily. "I just haven't given up hope. Let's get goin'."

Daryl gazed at her as she pulled her knife from its holster on her hip and gripped it tightly in her hand. She carefully unlocked the door and slid out, disappearing from his view. He wondered how she constantly found it in herself to have all this hope. She'd led a much nicer life than Daryl ever had, even up to this point, in this world. Still, it was hard for him to understand how she wasn't falling apart.

Beth's face popped into the doorway of the truck. "You comin'?" she asked impatiently.

"Jesus woman," Daryl said, opening his door. "Where's the fire?"

He grabbed his crossbow and jumped out of the driver's seat just as Beth made it around the front of the truck. She'd re-tied her hair, pulling the loose strands away from her face. Daryl could finally see her bright blue eyes clearly, sparkling in the sunshine.

She glared at him, her hand on her hip, sweat already forming on her forehead from the heat of the day. "I reckon we should follow the road," was all she said, before turning on her heel and starting to walk along it. Daryl wasn't sure if he should answer or not, so he kept his mouth shut and followed her.

* * *

They'd been walking in silence for a few hours, before Beth pulled off her backpack and drifted off from the road to sit in the shade of the trees. He joined her, sitting an arms length away from her on the grass. She rummaged through her bag, pulling out two granola bars. She handed one to Daryl and he accepted it.

"Thanks," he mumbled, tearing open the packaging.

"I'm sorry," she responded. It was a strange reply, so he looked at her curiously, shoving the bar into his mouth. It tasted terrible.

"Why?" he asked.

"For being angry with you before." She shrugged. "I know you're just tryin' to be realistic. I know I'm stupid for havin' all this hope, thinkin' we might find somethin' good, but I can't help it. It's all that keeps me goin'." She sounded sad. "I'm not built for this world."

"Stop," Daryl demanded. "Don't apologize Beth. You ain't stupid for havin' hope. Maybe I'm stupid for not havin' any." He turned his head to look at her and saw that she was watching him intently, hanging on his words. "It ain't always a good thing to be built for this kind of life."

"It is when you're tryin' to survive," Beth said, looking down at the granola bar she'd barely bitten in to.

"Well, you got me." He had no idea if it was comforting or not, but she seemed to accept it, taking a few more bites of her food.

* * *

Beth felt like she'd been walking for years since they'd sat in the grass and eaten. Her legs were sore, her body was sweaty and she was frustrated they hadn't come across any sort of shelter for miles now. The only good part of the emptiness was the lack of walkers they'd come across.

Conversation with Daryl had gotten easier since she'd apologized. So far she'd found out that he'd had a job at a mechanic's shop before getting caught up in all of Merle's stuff, fixing cars and bikes. He'd lost himself in talking about it so that Beth listened to him discuss his love of motorcycles for the good part of an hour. She'd understood only half of what he'd been saying, but she didn't mind. She liked listening to him talk.

She'd broken through a barrier she didn't think many people had gotten through with Daryl and it was satisfying, to say the least. Beth had been slightly taken aback by Daryl when he'd first gotten to the farm. He was rough and kept to himself - quick to anger and frustration. As time wore on though, the good parts about him shone through. He was loyal and smart and at times, extremely caring, especially when it came to their group. He was admired at the prison, Beth knew that all too well. He was a provider. A survivor. A fighter. She was glad to be with him, despite their circumstances.

"You got a favorite song?" Beth asked him, feeling inquisitive.

Daryl looked at her. "Why? You thinkin' of singin' again?"

"Just curious," she said, looking at her feet as they walked.

"I guess," he said slowly. "It'd be Simple Man."

"Lynyrd Skynyrd?"

"Mmhm," he nodded.

"Good one," she said. " _Mama told me when I was young, Come sit beside me, my only son, And listen closely to what I say, And if you do this it'll help you some sunny day,"_ she sang without thinking, swaying to the melody she'd created.

"Thought you weren't singin'?" Daryl questioned, a hint of a smile on his lips.

Beth shrugged. "I can stop if you'd like."

"No," Daryl said. "Don't."

So she didn't. She sang as they walked, alternating between songs her and Daryl chose. It was a nice break to the silence, something different than talking about what was coming, what could hurt them, what they'd lost. It was something good. Maybe she was finally getting to him.

The sun was getting low in the sky, starting to disappear behind the trees, night threatening its onset. Beth paused, putting her hands just above her knees, feeling winded. They hadn't been walking fast at all, their pace had been steady for hours, but her body was just about done after only being held upright by a few granola bars. "What's the plan?" she asked. "I'm ready for a rest."

Daryl stopped in his tracks, swinging his crossbow loosely in his right arm. "You know damn well I don't have a plan," he said, not looking at her. "If we don't find something by nightfall, we'll have to camp outside again."

Beth groaned, looking at the sky - it was getting darker by the minute. She didn't want to have to camp out in the open, but it seemed to be their only option at the moment. "We might want to start looking for something now," she said, defeated. "Nightfall isn't too far off."

Without waiting for him to respond, she started for the trees. It was the same landscape they'd come through after the funeral home - miles of trees beyond them with no end in sight. In an attempt to be productive, Beth bent down to collect some branches to use for a fire.

She sensed Daryl behind her, his footsteps quiet as he moved. He was sort of graceful in a way - he was a hunter by nature and his ability to be so stealthy was impressive. She was aware of her footsteps now, sounding loud on the sticks and dead grass beneath her feet - definitely not as covert as Daryl was.

Then, without warning, the ground disappeared beneath her feet and she stumbled, falling, crashing into very solid ground with a loud yell that came from her own mouth. Dirt clouds rose around her, filling her throat and her nostrils, seeping into her eyelids, blinding her momentarily.

"Beth?" she heard Daryl somewhere above her. "BETH?" he called out, more urgently.

"I'm here," she coughed. Her vision cleared and she took in the surroundings - bare, dirt walls, rising about a foot or so above her head. As she got to her feet, she felt a little bruised up, but nothing unmanageable.

"Where?" she heard Daryl say. He sounded panicked. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," she reassured him. "I fell - there's a hole. Watch your step." She looked up from where she was, the trees looking massive and the sky looking even farther away, a rich lavender color now. She pushed her back up against the wall of the hole and reached behind her, feeling some sort of wood. She turned and came face to face with a small door.

Daryl's voice came from behind her. "Come on, grab my hand and I'll pull you out," he said. She looked at him, on his belly, reaching his hands into the hole after her.

"You gotta come down here," she said.

Daryl looked at her, confused. "You bump your head?" he asked. "Grab my hands."

"Daryl," she said, feeling crazy. "There's a door here." She paused, then looked up at him again. "I think this is some kind of underground bunker."


	3. Chapter 3 - The Tunnel

**All I Ever Will Be**

 **Chapter Three** \- The Tunnel

* * *

Daryl got down on his belly and inched forward, hovering over the hole where Beth had fallen. His heart was still racing at her sudden disappearance, but she looked no worse for wear, besides being in a hole. "A door?" he asked, curiously. "You sure?"

She looked up at him again and glared. "Yes Daryl," she said. "I think I know what a door looks like."

Daryl grunted. "Well you best come up here, away from it. We don't know what's in there and I'm not trying to take a chance..." He almost said at losing you again, but decided not to.

Beth broke their gaze and stared at the door again. "Daryl, anythin' could be in there. This could be underground shelter! We have to at least check it out." She looked up at the sky, beyond him. "Plus, I'm not thrilled about the idea of campin' outside tonight."

Daryl pondered this for a minute, knowing the situation could be potentially disastrous or exactly what they needed. His thoughts erupted into a fantasy, envisioning weapons, food, a warm place to sleep, but he knew it was far from likely. And if those things were inside, there was definitely someone protecting it.

"Maybe just for the night," he thought out loud.

"That's it, c'mon down Daryl!" Beth exclaimed.

"Mmhm," Daryl said. "I'm comin'. Just give me a minute - we need a way to get out."

He hopped up onto his feet and had a look around. The hole was about six or seven feet deep, give or take, so he'd have to find a wide log or tree branch that would hold their weight when they needed to climb back up. "I'll be right back," he called out to Beth as he started to search.

It proved to be relatively easy to find a tree branch that was large enough, but moving it was a different story. He heaved and tugged with all his might, finally lowering it down into the hole with Beth's help. He sat on the edge for a minute, catching his breath and wiping his brow. Beth's excitement was clear from where he was sitting - she might as well have been jumping up and down at the discovery of the door, but Daryl knew her enthusiasm may not last for long. There was a very good chance they would run into a dead end.

Once he'd gotten his second wind, he lowered himself into the hole, landing balanced on his feet. Beth reached out to squeeze his arm, as if she was checking to make sure he was still real, and he let her. It was just what she did - touched him sometimes. And he was oddly okay with it.

He glanced at the wall, coming face to face with an unmistakable door. It was hidden well enough so it wouldn't be noticeable from where he'd been standing above. Made from heavy wood, the entrance touched the floor and rose up only about four feet so they would have to duck to go in. There was a large handle on the side, begging to be opened. Daryl looked at Beth who was breathing heavily, her eyes glistening with excitement as she looked the door up and down. Daryl could tell she was imaging all of the possibilities that could be inside.

"Beth," Daryl said, looking at her seriously, breaking her trance. "When we go in, you gotta be on guard. Just in case somethin' or someone's inside."

Beth nodded, looking determined and grasped the handle of the knife that sat on her hip tightly. "I know Daryl. I'm ready."

He placed his hand on the door, tugging on it, letting it slide across the dirt floor. It was heavy, but he was able to get it open wide enough that they could both slide through. The entrance was dark and damp, smelling of mildew. Daryl stuck his head in, keeping one arm on the outside of the door frame and whistled. He turned to Beth and put a finger to his lips to signal silence.

He listened, but heard nothing. Daryl let go of the frame and without thinking, put his arm behind him as he headed into the darkness. Beth grasped his hand, her sweaty palms dwarfed by his own, sending a jolt of electricity through his body. There it was again - the feeling he couldn't quite put his finger on. A flutter, deep in his belly that made him feel slightly nervous and lightheaded. It frustrated him, so he ignored it, determined to stay focused.

Heading forward, he tightened his fingers around hers. "Daryl, wait," she said and he stopped, looking back at Beth. Her figure was illuminated by the sliver of light that shone in through the door and he saw her fumbling in her backpack, tongue between her teeth, reaching for something. Her eyes widened when she found it and she smiled to herself, bringing out a flashlight. He smiled. "Good thinking," he whispered.

"Might help," she said, reaching for his hand again. He took hers and she threaded their fingers together, getting a good, tight grip on him before they started moving.

Beth shone the light to the sides first, illuminating dark walls, curving over their heads. The light bounced around the walls, and she shone it down towards the end next, landing on nothing but dirt and darkness in the distance. The walls curved away from them so they couldn't see the end.

"A tunnel," Daryl said out loud, without thinking. "We're in a tunnel."

The sound of hands clapping came slowly, echoing off the walls. It confused him at first, his senses dulled from not being able to see, before he realized there was another somebody in the tunnel there with them.

"Why yes you are!" came a deep voice, as a shadow holding another flashlight rounded the corner. Suddenly, Beth screamed, dropping her flashlight. Daryl turned, dropping her hand and reaching for his cross bow, but it was too late. Before he could react, his world was engulfed in darkness.

* * *

Beth hadn't realized she was screaming, until a hand was clasped over her mouth. It was sticky from sweat, so she hoped - smelling strongly of rubbing alcohol. She looked around wildly for Daryl, her eyes widening as she saw him slumped over on the ground, not moving. The man had charged him, slamming Daryl's head into the wall behind him, knocking him out instantly.

"Shut the fuck up you stupid bitch!" the voice said, the owner's breath hot and disgusting, stinging her nostrils. "You wanna bring some fuckin' corpses our way now?"

Her eyes had adjusted and a large man came into view, standing very close to her. He was extremely tall and overweight, sporting a few hairy chins, handlebar mustache and a bald head with a black bandana tied around his forehead. He had a thick unibrow and a wide nose - mushy features that made him look like a cartoon character. He glared at her, waiting for a response.

She shook her head emphatically, feeling like she was unable to breathe. Her mind was screaming at her to get to Daryl, check if he was okay, get him help. The man's chubby hands were on her waist then, grabbing her knife out of its holster and shoving it into his pocket. Next, he ripped her backpack off of her shoulders, the straps snapping free from her arms.

The man backed away from her, leaning down to pick up the flashlight she'd dropped, then hovered over Daryl, shining his flashlight over his body like he was looking at roadkill. "Ugh," he groaned. "This won't be easy to carry back." He circled him, leaning down and grabbing his heavy crossbow, throwing it easily over his shoulder.

"Daryl?" Beth whispered, knowing she shouldn't but unable to help herself. "Is he…?" Her breath caught in her chest at the sheer thought of losing Daryl. It was unfathomable.

The man turned his head to the side to glare at her. "He'll be fine," he snapped at her. "What's he, your boyfriend or somethin'?" He laughed cruelly.

Beth stayed silent, looking at Daryl on the floor. It was rare to see him like this and she wanted nothing more but to run to him and get him to his feet. He would know how to handle this. He would know how to fight. Not Beth. She was practically useless. The tears came then, hot and angry and unwanted and she wiped them off on her dirty t-shirt, feeling small and helpless.

His hands were on her again, tight and strong around her bicep. "Let's go," he slurred, pulling her towards him. He started walking and she had no choice but to follow him.

"Where?" she asked, feeling extremely stupid. He was dragging her away from Daryl, down towards the curve of the tunnel. "What about him?" she asked, looking back at Daryl who still hadn't moved.

"I'll deal with him later. Shut the fuck up or I'll blow your fuckin' brains out." He pulled a gun from his pocket, waving it at her.

Beth stopped talking, but tears kept rolling down her cheeks, dripping down her chin and onto her shirt, despite her best intentions to stop. The man had now dug his fingernails into her arm. Perhaps he was afraid she might run back to Daryl. There wasn't much she could do at this point - running wasn't really an option - who would she go to for help? There was no one left.

This thought destroyed her and she let a heavy sob leave her throat. She choked another one back, afraid the man would react to her cries and tell her to be quiet again. As they rounded the corner of the tunnel, a greenish light was visible in the distance. Beth's legs felt heavy and sore, but she kept walking, steady with his pace.

The dirt floor of the tunnel ended abruptly, turning into concrete, the light getting brighter as they came towards it. There were more lights, placed down the rest of the hall, illuminating the walls which were pure, plain gray concrete. As Beth looked down she saw that the tunnel narrowed the further down it went. Their footsteps echoed loudly as the walls came closer together and Beth felt slightly claustrophobic as they continued on.

The walk seemed to last for miles, he was dragging her through a maze of twists and turns, then finally they reached a plain wall that he stared at, his grip still tight, leaving indentations on her arms. He stood in front of it, just staring at it for a minute and Beth wondered briefly if he'd lost it. She considered making a run for it then, but then he stepped forward. He pushed the wall with his shoulder, grunting as he did so, causing Beth to lose her balance as he thrusted forward into the solid concrete.

To her surprise, it shifted, causing a break in the wall. A hidden door - she would have never known it was there if he hadn't stopped in front of it. He pushed it again and it slid forward, opening an entrance through which he pulled her.

Briefly, she caught a glimpse of the room - it was large and circular, with a large concrete pillar in the middle of it. There was furniture laid about, spread out haphazardly. She didn't see any other movement or people, but before she could look around any further, he'd pushed her forward into an open door. Lights flickered on above her and she finally got a decent look at her captor, his chins wobbling as he forced a maniac smile at her.

"See you," he said, and then closed the door. Beth came up to it as he closed it, the metal feeling cool against her fingers and broke out into a cold sweat as she heard him turn keys on the other side. He was locking her in.


	4. Chapter 4 - Not Meant For This World

**All I Ever Will Be**

 **Chapter Four** \- Not Meant For This World

* * *

"Shit, shit, shit," Beth mumbled to herself, her fists and forehead resting against the door the man had locked. She'd tried the handle, but the door was definitely locked.

She turned around then, facing the room. To her surprise it was well lit, with two fluorescent lights secured to the ceiling. The room was made from concrete, just as the tunnel had been - a solid cell that she was now trapped in.

In the left corner of the room on the floor was a mattress, covered in bloody sheets, the stain deep crimson, turning brown in places, indicating it was somewhat fresh. Her stomach churned at the sight of it. Next to that was a small, empty table and next to that, bare shelves that were built into the concrete wall. To the right was a small doorway, without a door and she went towards it curiously.

The room had a small bulb that hung from the ceiling with a metal pull string that she grabbed. The light bulb illuminated the tiny room, no bigger than her old bedroom closet with a small basin with a faucet and a toilet that was filled with water. Beth was fascinated by it for a minute - this place had working indoor plumbing. Interesting.

She came back out of the room, grasping the doorframe with her fingers. Bringing her back to the wall, she slid down to the floor slowly, hugging her knees to her chest. The fear was coming. The pain, the emotions, the tears she couldn't help, she felt them coursing through her body. She squeezed her eyes closed, trying to erase it all, trying to figure out what to _do_ , knowing there was really nothing to do but wait and hope and pray.

If Daryl was here, he would know exactly how to escape. He wouldn't be sitting against the wall crying and she felt weak and angry as she thought about it. This was her fault. She'd fallen. She'd made Daryl come down and explore this place. He was trying to be cautious and keep them safe and she'd pushed him. He had known better, but she just _had_ to have her way.

Her chest tightened as she let out a heavy sob, crying into her arms, feeling hysterical. Daryl could be dead and it was all her fault. She wasn't strong like Daryl or Maggie or Michonne, or intuitive like Glenn or Carl. She was useless. Just as she'd said to Daryl, she wasn't meant for this world.

* * *

In the darkness, Daryl woke, still laying on the ground. He was dizzy and disoriented and felt a little sick to his stomach. It took him a minute to remember where he was and he looked around frantically for any sign of Beth beside him.

"Beth?" he managed to croak even though he knew he was alone.

He was met with silence, his whisper bouncing off the walls of the tunnel. Behind him, the door was still cracked, letting in a small sliver of light and beyond him in the other direction was darkness. He felt around on the dirt floor, the ground edging up beneath his fingernails, for the flashlight or his crossbow, finding neither. A flash of frustration overcame him and he pounded his fist into the floor, knowing it wouldn't help, but needing an outlet.

He got to his feet slowly, his fingers finding the wall, helping to keep him steady. He rubbed his fingers over his face, trying to alleviate his headache, and it helped momentarily, but his sight was still swimming. Then, he heard footsteps in the distance, loud and hurried, coming towards him.

"Aw, fuck," he mumbled to himself as a body rounded the corner. He stood where he was, still, squinting to take a look at who was coming towards him. "Where is she?" he growled into the distance.

The man coming towards him was huge, fat and tall, but Daryl couldn't make out his features in the darkness. He came towards him, holding a hand gun in his left hand and over his right shoulder, Daryl's crossbow was slung. It was evident, even in the shadows.

"Yeah, shut up, okay?" the man said, coming around him, the scent of body odor following him as he did so. He poked Daryl's back with the gun, pushing him forward, forcing him to start walking. Daryl did just that, knowing that there was no other option.

They walked in silence, Daryl shuffling his feet slowly as the man behind him guided him with the gun against his back. He was taking in the surroundings as they rounded the corner and came into the concrete tunnel. There were a bunch of twists and turns and Daryl tried to remember each one so that once he figured out what the hell to do, Beth and he could find their way out of here.

The slowness seemed to bother his captor, who poked him harder with the barrel of the gun behind him. "Get movin'," he growled.

"Where we goin'?" Daryl asked hesitantly, speeding his pace slightly.

The man was silent. They continued walking and finally the man yelled, "Stop." He grabbed his arm tightly and Daryl turned to face a solid wall that had been slid to the side, revealing a room behind it. His captor shoved him into it and Daryl stumbled into a large circular room, made completely from concrete with a large circular pillar in the middle.

There was furniture scattered about, couches and bookshelves and in the distance some table and chairs. There was a series of doors on the far curved wall, all silver metal, and all closed shut. He looked around the room for any sign of Beth, but she was nowhere to be found.

Around the curve of a pillar was movement and Daryl made out the body of another person, shifting about slowly. If it hadn't been for his normal skin color and the swigs he was talking from a glass bottle, he might have thought he was a walker. He squinted in the distance, observing that he was chugging from a liquor bottle and realized the man was tanked. Oh fuck - this was just as unpredictable as it got.

"C'mon," the large man behind him said, grabbing his bicep again and dragging him towards one of the metal doors. He heard the clinking of keys and watched him as he inserted them in a keyhole, unlocking it and pushing the door open. He pushed him in forcefully, causing Daryl to stumble over his own feet as he fell into the room. The door fell shut and he listened to the lock click behind him.

"Daryll!" The sound of her voice filled him and he spun around, flooding with relief as he took in the sight of Beth before him. She'd been crying, her face wet with tears, eyes puffy and red. Her hair was messy and dirty - he'd been getting used to seeing it like that more and more.

"Beth." He let her name roll off his tongue as he came towards her. He reached for her and she leapt at him, practically knocking him over, wrapping her arms around his neck, her legs around his back and he caught her around her midsection - feeling her entire body in his arms. She felt familiar and safe, even though he knew they were far from being so. He squeezed her, like he'd never squeezed someone before, inhaling her scent, masked slightly by sweat and dirt.

And she was hugging him too, her arms tight around his neck, her head on his shoulder, face turned in towards his neck. "Thank god," she breathed. "What the hell are we gonna do?"

Daryl had no idea, but he wasn't about to tell her that. "We're gonna get out of here," he said. "That's what we're gonna do."


	5. Chapter 5 - Trust

**All I Ever Will Be**

 **Chapter Five** \- Trust

* * *

"You okay?" Daryl asked as he placed her back on the floor, both boots hitting the ground simultaneously. He looked Beth over carefully. "Did he hurt you?"

Beth shook her head, wiping her eyes with her fists, looking away from him. "I'm fine," she said. "I'm sorry," she whispered.

"Stop - you got nothin' to be sorry for," Daryl said to her, trying to catch her gaze.

"That guy, he spooked me. I dropped the stupid flashlight. He charged you - smacked your head against the wall," she said.

"Explains the headache," Daryl said, rubbing the back of his head.

"I guess he figured I'd be easier to take." She continued, her voice cracking, and he could sense she was getting upset again. "He was right," she whispered. "I messed up. He just took my knife from me. I didn't even put up a fight."

"Beth," Daryl said, his voice hoarse. "We were blindsided and in the damn dark. Don't go gettin' upset about somethin' you couldn't control. Woulda been silly to try and take him anyway. Motherfucker was massive."

Beth was silent then. "If we get outta here, I'm gonna learn how to be more like you," she said.

"No you won't," Daryl grumbled at her. "You need to stay you. You don't wanna be anythin' like me."

"You're brave and strong," Beth said, staring at him now. "Who wouldn't want to be more like you?"

"Hmph," was all Daryl could muster, though he felt his face flush against his will. "Anythin' good in here?" he asked, wanting to change the subject. "Anythin' we can use as a weapon?"

"Not much," Beth replied, wandering around the small room. "It's pretty bare. There's running water though," she said, pointing towards the doorway.

"Yeah?" Daryl asked, raising an eyebrow.

She nodded. "Sink and a toilet," she said.

"There must be a source of electricity somewhere," Daryl said, thinking out loud. "I wonder what this place is."

Beth shrugged, looking sad. She felt guilty. He could tell. He knew the feeling all too well.

"Hey," he said, placing a hand on her shoulder and she looked up at him. His stomach fluttered. "It's okay." He was trying his hardest to make her feel better. "Stop being so rough on yourself."

She brought her hand up to his, grabbing it and squeezing it in her own. It was a _thank you_ , in a way, though she didn't say it. He nodded at her, releasing her shoulder and looked around, taking in the bloody mattress, the simple shelves, the small table. The wood could be useful in terms of a weapon, but too light to do much damage. He started to wander then, moving into the doorway and looking at the small space that Beth had described.

The toilet tank. It had a lid, and a heavy one at that. That was what they would use, once they had the chance.

He came out to tell Beth of his plan but she had resorted to sitting cross-legged on the floor, her head in her hands, crying. That was all it took to set him off. If he could take that pain away, he would have. He hated seeing anyone sad, but Beth especially. The hopefulness, the excitement in her eyes at finding this place - it was gone. Destroyed. Just as it had been at the farm, then at the prison, again at the funeral home and now here? He didn't want that to happen again. She was on the verge of breaking - he could feel it.

Frustrated, Daryl balled his hands into fists and angrily beelined towards the locked entrance, placing them on the cool metal and slammed them into the door. "Hey! Let us out you fucking cowards!" As his fists met the door, he heard it rattle within it's frame. "I said let us out!" he yelled again.

He waited for a minute for any sign of life on the other side of the door, but was met with silence. He tried again, starting to punch the door out of sheer anger. "Let us the fuck out!" he screamed this time, feeling the skin over his knuckles starting to tear. He lifted his foot up, kicking the door furiously, completely overtaken with emotion. He stepped away then, breathing heavily, but not wanting to give up.

He looked at Beth who was staring at him with her wide eyes, raw from her tears. Daryl shrugged at her, kicking the door once more for good measure and went to sit down next to her. He wasn't sure why, but it seemed like the right thing to do. She leaned her head against his shoulder and neither of them spoke for a while.

* * *

When she woke up, she wasn't sure how long she'd been asleep, but drool had formed at the side of her mouth and she wiped it away hastily, realizing she was leaning against Daryl's shoulder. She sat up abruptly, too quickly, feeling dizzy. Daryl stirred beneath her, waking slowly with a soft snore, his eyes shooting open.

"Sorry," Beth said, placing a hand on his leg as a gesture of apology. She realized it might have seemed intimate or forward, so she pulled it away quickly.

"S'okay," Daryl said. "Shouldn't both be restin' both at once anyhow." He grunted as he got to his feet, which seemed pointless to Beth, but he gestured at her to stand up too. "We should get a plan ready."

Beth stretched to her feet, her knees feeling tight and achy from all of the walking they'd done. Her arm was sore from where the man had grabbed her, so she rubbed it absentmindedly as she followed Daryl to the small bathroom in the room.

He reached forward into the room and grabbed the ceramic toilet tank lid into two hands, feeling the weight of it, bringing it into the larger room to take a mock swing with it. He turned around and handed it to Beth who took it apprehensively in her two hands. It was heavy and a strangely familiar object. It was no different than any other toilet tank lid she'd ever seen in her life, but she'd never thought of it as a weapon.

"Take a swing," Daryl urged her.

She swung it, feeling stupid, the heaviness of the object pulling her forward. She felt weak and ridiculous, bringing it still again in her hands. She looked up at Daryl and he stared at her, looking stunned.

"What?" she asked.

"That was terrible," he said honestly. "Try again."

She narrowed her eyes at him, bringing the lid up to the side of her and swinging again. The weight still felt awkward in her hands, but the swing had some strength behind it this time as she came through to the other side. She brought it back to her chest again and looked at Daryl who nodded.

"Better," he said. "Again."

"Daryl," Beth said, shaking her head.

"You wanna get out of here?" he asked.

So she swung the stupid thing, giving it a heavy swing into the air, bringing it steady again in her hands and when she looked at him this time, she could tell he was pleased. A smile was tugging at the edges of his lips - so slight, but she noticed it, feeling satisfied with herself.

"Good," was all he said. He opened his mouth to say something else, but was cut off by a loud bang that echoed from outside of the room, startling them both. Beth looked at Daryl, feeling frozen in place and panicked. Swiftly, Daryl grabbed the lid back from Beth and she watched him as he leaned it against the inside of the doorframe of the bathroom.

He came back to her, his face close to hers and he placed a hand on her shoulder. His touch was rough - everything about Daryl was, but it was comforting all the same. "Don't you hesitate," he said to her. "We ain't gonna go down without a fight," Daryl said. "If we get separated - that's your weapon. Hit the shit out of anyone that comes near you."

Beth looked at the floor, her heart picking up pace in her chest. "What if I can't?" she asked softly. "I'm no fighter."

She raised her head and they made eye contact, his blue eyes piercing, full of fire. "You are a fighter," he said firmly. "And we will get out of here."

She nodded at him.

"Do you trust me?" he asked her.

She looked at him, unsure of how he didn't know. "I trust you Daryl. I've always trusted you."


	6. Chapter 6 - Separation

**All I Ever Will Be**

 **Chapter Six** \- Separation

* * *

Daryl placed his ear flat against the door. There were muffled voices outside - someone was yelling. Then the familiar sound of gunshots erupted, bouncing off the concrete walls outside. He heard a thud on the floor and feet running past their door. More gunshots. Another thud.

Daryl looked behind him where Beth was, still standing in the same place. He wanted to say something to her. Tell her it was going to be okay, but before he could even open his mouth there was someone on the other side of their door. He backed away from it, hearing the lock click.

The door swung open, revealing the man who had thrown them in the room, except this time he was holding a machine gun in his hands, looking even larger than he had before. His shaved head was shimmering with fresh blood and he looked at Daryl with narrowed, small eyes. His full face was red from exerting himself and he had a steady stream of snot running from his wide nose into his mustache. Daryl noticed blood in his beard from a fat lip he was sporting, but the man didn't seem to care. He was frowning and mumbling to himself.

"You," he said, pointing the gun at Daryl's temple. Daryl stepped backwards, staring down the long weapon. "Can you hunt?" he asked.

"Yeah," Daryl responded quickly, trying to stay as calm as possible.

He lowered the gun. "Come on then," he said, grabbing him by his collar. "You're coming with me."

Before he knew what was happening, Daryl was led outside the room and the man was locking Beth in the room behind him. Her eyes shimmered with tears as he got one last look at her before the door closed.

Getting his bearings outside he nearly tripped over the body of a woman who had been shot, fresh blood still spilling from her head. Her face was turned and Daryl saw that she had been badly beaten.

"We need food," the man said angrily, leading Daryl towards the large pillar, past a second dead body - a man. He looked away, swallowing hard. That could be him and Beth if they weren't extremely careful about their next moves.

Behind the pillar was something of a makeshift kitchen, dark and smelling of rotten food and urine. It consisted of a tile counter that followed the curve of the circular room, a stand alone sink, a deep freezer and a table with four chairs, littered with all types of wrappers, dirty magazines, empty liquor bottles and cigarettes.

Another person was sitting at one of the chairs, shirtless, passed out with his face down on the table. It was the drunk guy he'd seen before. The man was just as large as the other guy, same bald head, same bandana. He was snoring loudly and Daryl noticed that he was surrounded by pill bottles and alcohol. He looked away quickly, feeling nauseated.

"We haven't had fresh food for almost a week besides some fuckin' jerky and our other hunters," he peered at the two people he'd showered in bullets laying on the floor, "Are indisposed." He jammed his gun into Daryl's chest. "We need some shit and you're gonna get it for us."

"What exactly am I gettin'?" Daryl asked, careful of his words. These guys were clearly drug addicts and had used the bunker as a placed to get fucked up, keeping other people here to do their dirty work for them. Fucking cowards. Daryl had dealt with high Merle for long enough to know that any slight wrong word or wrong step could set this guy off.

"Don't care what you get, but we need to fuckin' eat. And, we're runnin' out of booze. Maybe I'll spare your girl there for a night or two if you find us a bottle of whiskey," the man sneered at him, revealing a rotten set of teeth inside his mouth. "Whatta say?"

"I say you don't fuckin' touch her," Daryl growled, seeing red. The mention of using Beth - hurting her, raping her was all too much for Daryl to process. He was going to kill these fuckers. He had to.

The man clocked Daryl in the jaw with the machine gun he was holding, and he tasted blood instantly, pain searing through his head. "Shut the fuck up, redneck," the man said. "I'll do whatever the fuck I want. I'm the one with the gun."

Daryl tried to look at the man as calmly as humanly possible, not sure if he was succeeding. He needed to reason with him. "I'll need somethin' to hunt with then," Daryl said slowly, hoping he could rationalize with him. "My crossbow - what I came in with - that's best. Won't make the meat messy with bullets."

His captor seemed to ponder this for a minute.

"Okay," he said slowly. "But I'm coming with you. And so is my gun. You try anything funny..." He lifted the weapon up to Daryl's ear. "Bang, bang," he whispered, indicating he'd shoot him on the spot.

Daryl nodded at him. All he needed to do was get his hands back on his bow.

* * *

She was alone in the room again and Daryl was gone and there had been a machine gun and people had been shot outside and she had no idea what the fuck to do. Well, there wasn't much to do except sit and wait. How useless.

Tears welled up in the back of her mind again, but she willed them away remembering what Daryl had told her. _You're a fighter_ , she repeated to herself. _You're a fighter_.

She paced the room, running her fingers up and down the legs of her torn up pants, feeling anxious, casting occasional glances towards the bathroom where Daryl had propped up the toilet tank lid. It sat there, unmoving, heavy and lethal, as long as she could swing it right. There if she needed it.

Time wasn't even a concept at this point - she wasn't sure if she'd been in the room for minutes or hours or days even when she heard a rattle at the door. There was a clink of keys and for a minute her heart soared, thinking maybe it was Daryl. Maybe he had killed the man and he was back to rescue her. She turned around, staring at the door, breathing heavily, unable to move.

Her eyes were wide and she was trembling as she heard the door open roughly, slamming into the concrete of the wall beside it. Her breath caught in her throat and she knew instantly the shadow wasn't Daryl. The man who stood there was just as large as their captor with a similar look about him, but he had a different sort of face. Instantly, she knew there was something wrong with him. He was standing on two feet, but in his hands he held a bottle of liquor and his eyes rolled back and forth in their sockets, occasionally rolling into the back of his head.

He stumbled into the room, the keys still jingling in the lock. The man was massive, larger than six feet tall, a wide body that hung out of dirty, stained clothes that were too small for him. He was bald, as the other man had been, with dark features and hairy skin. His feet were crossing as he came towards her, and Beth was frozen to the spot. Her brain was screaming at her limbs to move, but she couldn't.

The man slurred something incoherently, walking towards her like a walker would, reaching out for her body with his filthy, chubby hands. She moved then, just as his hands caught around her waist, gripping her skin, pulling at her pants and she knew instantly what his intentions were for her.


	7. Chapter 7 - Necessary Kills

**All I Ever Will Be**

 **Chapter Seven** \- Necessary Kills

* * *

The man had shoved the crossbow back into Daryl's arms before they left and guided him through the concrete maze of hallways outside of the main room with the machine gun at his back. Seemed to be his favorite move, Daryl thought as they walked. The lights that illuminated their path flickered slightly, and Daryl found himself wondering again what this place actually was. The amount of electricity he'd seen thus far was quite impressive - this was something bigger than just some underground shelter.

With all these twists and turns, there had to be something else to it. Finally, they reached the end of the concrete, feet hitting dirt and entered the familiar tunnel that Beth and he had first come through. The door at the end was still slightly ajar and they moved towards it quietly and quickly.

"Tree was a good idea," the man said casually as Daryl put the bow on his back and opened the door. "Sent our other hunters out here with a rope and grappling hook to get on out."

Daryl grunted in response, weirded out by the common conversation and not make any sudden movements. He had no intentions of finding food - just getting rid of this guy and getting back to Beth. He realized he had no real sense of time underground and was surprised to see dusk approaching in the sky. Had they really been underground for that long?

The tree branch was still in place where Daryl and Beth had positioned it. The man looked up it, then towards Daryl, indicating he should climb it first, so he positioned the crossbow on his back and went up, careful of where he placed his feet, not wanting to trip. The tree sagged underneath this weight and he wondered if the man was actually dumb enough to try and climb it. He was easily a hundred points heavier than Daryl. He got to his feet quickly at the top and looked back down at the dumbass who had begun to climb, using one hand to hold the gun, pointed at Daryl and one hand to hoist himself up.

What an idiot. It was a miracle he'd made it this long. The branch was going to break, Daryl knew it, and as he had the thought, he heard the unmistakable crack of bark echo through the air. The man stumbled over his feet, slightly losing his grip on the gun and Daryl wasted no time. He swung his bow across his chest, lined up his bolt and shot it quickly. It sunk deep into the man's skull as he grasped for the trigger to shoot at Daryl, but fired shots into the sky instead, missing him completely.

His heavy body collapsed into the hole, disappearing from view and sending up a cloud of dirt after him. Without thinking, Daryl jumped down into the hole, landing on his feet. The bolt stuck straight out of his forehead, right between his eyes, blood squirting from the sides. The man's eyes crossed, rolling to the back of his head and Daryl looked away as he made his last spluttering noises. Killing was never easy for Daryl, never something he liked doing, but this one was so very necessary. Once he was sure the man was dead, he grabbed the bolt back from his cranium, wiping it off on his pants.

"Motherfucker," he said in a grumble. He turned then and headed through the tunnel door, pulling it shut behind him, running down the long tunnel back to Beth.

* * *

She was screaming, she couldn't help it, as the man pushed her, face down, to the floor. Her shrieks came in waves - she was having trouble finding her voice. The wind had been knocked out of her. His long fingernails were tearing at her now. He was trying to hook his hands into her jeans to pull them away from her skin and she was wiggling away from him. She was stuck, his heavy body on top of hers and he was groaning at her, trying to bring his face close to hers. He smelled of vomit and liquor, his hot breath sending the scent of rotten teeth up through her nose. She gagged, sickened by him, trying to scramble away.

The man had gotten to her jeans and was pulling them off of her, popping the button off from sheer force and sliding them over her butt and to her knees. His stubby fingers tore her underwear, ripping the seam, exposing more of her than she was comfortable with. "STOP!" she screamed, knowing nobody could hear her.

He shifted himself in an effort to unbuckle his own pants and it was the chance she needed as his weight came off of her and she scrambled to her feet, the man's hands still grabbing at her, closing in on nothingness. She grabbed the sides of her pants, bringing them back over herself, her breath out of sync, sweat dripping down her face.

The lid. It was so close, yet so fucking far away as she went towards it, her legs feeling unnaturally heavy. He was behind her, but so drunk he couldn't get to his feet quick enough as she grabbed the lid in her hands. She ran towards him then, anger blurring her vision as she brought the ceramic piece down on top of his head, watching it shatter every which way, the pieces crumbling down the side of his head which was bloodied from impact.

He fell backwards instantly, but she wasn't convinced she was safe, still feeling his fingers all over her body, wanting to be sick all over herself. She still had a large piece of the ceramic in her hands and she slammed it into his head over and over again. Someone was screaming as she was doing it and it was only after she stopped, only after she'd crushed his skull in and was covered in his blood that she realized she was the one who was screaming.

The man's face was unrecognizable - he barely looked human, his cranium completely concave, eyes bulging from their sockets, skin covered in blood. Beth was crying, terrified, distraught at her disgusting masterpiece she'd formed and she recoiled in fear, throwing the pieces of ceramic she still had in her hands away from her, shivering with adrenaline as her back found the wall.

She sobbed uncontrollably, not crying, but heaving with aftershocks of what she had done. She needed to get out of the room, so she scooted to the small bathroom, wanting to hide, to disappear into the floor, to get away from the man - the dead man now - and forget what had just happened. She laid down on the cold floor, flat on her back, staring up at the single lightbulb that was lit overhead of her, her eyes crossing, blurring her vision.

What had happened? Had she hurt him? Had she killed him? She couldn't remember now, her mind was soaring in all different directions. Her body was aching, skin on fire and she brought her arms up so she could have a look at them. Both were covered in sticky, hot blood. It was all over her, she could smell it now.

"No—o," she moaned to herself, hugging her sides, shaking with emotion as she curled up into the fetal position, rocking back and forth, her emotions taking over.


	8. Chapter 8 - Unspeakable

**All I Ever Will Be**

 **Chapter Eight** \- Unspeakable

* * *

His footsteps echoed loudly through the hallway, mimicking the pounding in his heart. How long had he been gone now? The maze was more confusing than he remembered it. He was sure he'd mentally remembered every twist and turn, but had ended up in another dead end.

"Fuck!" he said, pounding on the wall that wouldn't budge. Backtracking two turns, he finally found the open door and he ran inside, stumbling into to the circular room he'd left earlier. Instantly, he looked to the door where he'd left Beth behind and his breath caught in his chest. The door was wide open, keys hanging in the lock.

"Beth?" he cried, his eyes widening. He didn't wait for her response, running to the door frantically.

At first glance, the room was unchanged since he'd left, but looking to the right near the door of the bathroom, the man he'd seen earlier passed out on the table, laid on his back, unmoving.

Daryl instinctively nocked an arrow in his bow, holding it level and aiming it at the body. He walked closer towards him hesitantly. "Beth?" he called out again, hoping to hear her voice, but was met with silence.

The man's face was almost unrecognizable, covered with blood - whether it was his own or someone else's was yet to be determined. His nose was crushed with the skin around it turning an alarming shade of purple. As Daryl came closer he saw that the side of his head was concave and bleeding. Did Beth do this? He brought his foot up to touch the body and was met with no reaction. He waited for a minute, watching his face, looking for a sign of breathing, but there was none. He was dead.

Daryl aimed his bolt at the man's brain and shot, watching the head of it disappear into his skin. He let out a deep breath he'd been holding, then glanced around the room, looking for a sign of life. The bathroom caught his attention and as he looked at the doorway, he saw two small feet sticking out.

"Beth?" Daryl cried, lunging into the bathroom, throwing his bow to the side and landing on his knees on the concrete. She was laying on the floor, her eyes wide open, looked disoriented and empty, focused on the light in the ceiling above them.

"Beth?" Daryl said her name again, feeling anxious. He grasped her shoulders gently, helping her to sit up. She looked at him then, her eyes wide and terrified.

"Daryl?" she asked, as if she was unsure if it was really him.

"You okay?" he asked, looking her over. Her body and new clothes were splattered with blood. She'd made no move to remove the splatter from her face, but a steady stream of tears had cleared their way down her cheeks.

"I'm not sure," Beth said blankly.

"What happened?" Daryl asked. "Are you hurt?"

"I think I killed that man," she said, bringing her arm up to point outside the door. It was shaking so violently that she gave up, letting it fall limply to her side.

Daryl shook his head. "Don't you worry 'bout that," he said. Her hair was a mess, tangled with sticky blood and sweat, clinging to her face. He took a steady finger and tucked some of the loose strands behind her ears. "Beth, are you hurt?" He needed to know.

She shook her head no and trembled slightly. "Did I kill that man?" she repeated in a whisper, her eyes darting to the door, then back to Daryl.

He hesitated, not wanting to lie to her. She was so fragile, so very broken in this moment. He felt lost and uncertain, not sure what to say or how to help. "Yeah," he responded softly, sitting next to her on the damp tile. He pulled her into his arms gently and she let him, the back of her head on his chest. It was only then that he realized how violently she was shaking. "Tell me what happened."

She let out a sob then, and began to weep. He let her cry, not saying anything, just holding her in his arms as she crumbled. She needed to release the emotion - it would be the first step to overcoming what she'd done no matter how essential it had been. The burden of killing another human being, taking a life, it was an overwhelming pain that never truly went away regardless of the circumstances.

The night he shot Dale after he had gotten bit at Hershel's farm, it was something Daryl still dreamt about. Dale's wide eyes pleaded with him to do it, an act of ultimate kindness, but after it was done he carried an emptiness with him that would be there for the rest of his life. He remembered the grief and anguish that flooded through his body - only to be released the next day with Shane, Andrea and T-Dog when they went out to take care of the walkers beyond the farm. It was a relief like no other.

He had, of course, become numb to it over time, more so than he liked to admit, but it was the way the world was now. If a threat appeared, he eliminated it. If someone needed to be put out of their misery, he would help them on their way. But not Beth. Beth was so innocent. So good. So bright. For her to have to kill another human being - it was something he couldn't quite wrap his head around.

"He came into the room," she said slowly, so softly Daryl could barely hear her. "He was drunk - or something. He stumbled in. Thought it might have been you. I didn't move as quick as I should've. I just thought," she trailed off. "I didn't even hear him comin'. He knocked me to the..." she hesitated, shifting in Daryl's arms. He could tell she felt uncomfortable. "He knocked me to the floor and pulled off my pants," she said, sounding tormented. She stopped then, her tears and emotion overwhelming her and Daryl squeezed her knowing what she was going to say next. "He got on top of me," she managed to splutter out.

"Beth," Daryl said, interrupting her, not sure how to make it better. He wanted so badly to take that pain and make it his own, but he knew he couldn't. Instead, he stroked her hair - something he'd never done before to anyone. He didn't quite understand it, but her body relaxed at his touch.

"I got out from underneath him and ran," she said, turning her head so that their eyes met. "I grabbed the lid and swung it." He felt her hands wrap around his upper arm, her fingernails digging into his skin as she shook with sadness. "I hit him with it," she sobbed. "I didn't give up - I hit him with it over and over and over. I killed him. Oh my god," she was unraveling as she spoke. "I killed him! I didn't have a choice."

"Beth," he breathed, stroking her hair still, letting his fingers make contact with her scalp. "There was no other way. You had to. You were survivin'. Fightin'," he said forcefully, wanting her to understand. "You did what you had to do."

She was quiet then, still trembling with grief and they sat there for a while, neither of them moving. Daryl wanted to make things okay for her and this was the only way he knew how. She felt so tiny against his chest, but the guilt of the pain she was feeling was smothering him. He knew it all too well and wanted to make it better.

"C'mon," Daryl said, after a long while, helping her to stand. "Let's get you cleaned up."

She nodded, moving to get up from the floor. Daryl left the bathroom to find something he could wipe up the blood with. He settled on tearing apart the bloody bedsheets from the mattress, trying to find the cleanest part to run under the water. Once he'd torn two good pieces, he returned to her in the bathroom. Beth was standing at the sink, her shoulders trembling. She was gripping the sink so tightly that her knuckles were white.

Daryl took the torn rag to the sink, coming up behind her. Reaching around her body, he turned the spout on which spluttered and spit out a slow stream of water into the sink. Daryl wet the fabric, turned the sink off and pulled Beth around gently to face him.

She was staring at him now, her face blank and bloody. He avoided her eyes as he carefully started wiping away the blood from her face. He worked slowly, making sure he was getting every stain out of her skin. He was suddenly so aware of how large and clumsy his hands were and how heavily he was breathing. He took in every detail of her face as he cleaned away the blood, noticing how she kept her lips slightly separated in between steady breaths. She kept her eyes on him as he made his way across her face, over her ears and down her neck.

Although he was meticulous there was still blood in her hair that he couldn't remove with the towel. "You might want to wash out your hair," Daryl suggested, breaking the silence.

She nodded. They were standing so close now that he could feel every breath she was taking. The situation made him uncomfortable in his own skin, and all at once he wasn't sure what to do with his arms, his fingers, his eyes - she was looking at him and wasn't moving away. Did she really want to be this close to him?

"Thanks Daryl," she said sincerely, and then without warning she leaned forward and kissed him gently. Their lips collided so quickly he almost wasn't sure it happened. It was like an electric shock to his mouth and he sucked in air quickly, surprised and unsure of how to react. She pulled back, looking down at the floor, her hands reaching back to rest on the rim of the basin.

He wasn't sure how to react. Wasn't sure what it meant, but his lips were on fire. She was the softest thing he'd ever tasted. He stared at her for a minute, broken, beautiful Beth, then came to his senses and left her to the bathroom, not wanting to make the situation any worse than it was already.

He moved into the next room, his mind swimming. She had kissed him. Why? He touched his own lips, chapped, surrounded by hair from his beard, curious how he might have felt to Beth and wondering what it meant. He knew people did strange things in moments of crisis, but he still couldn't help but wonder.

He didn't have time to ponder further though. The thought was stripped from his mind instantly, as a voice started screaming through one of the closed doors in the outside room.


	9. Chapter 9 - Reflection

**All I Ever Will Be**

 **Chapter Nine** \- Reflection

* * *

The water from the faucet was running and Beth stared at it, feeling it with her fingers, letting the liquid run over her skin. The water was cool, running between the gaps in her fingers and disappearing down the metal drain in the middle of the basin. She brought her fingers to her hair. The mass of it felt heavy and sticky, tied back with a worn rubber band that she untangled and secured around her wrist. She was sure there was a mixture of dirt, grease and blood in her blond locks. She hadn't washed her hair since the prison.

Beth bent her knees to dip her head into the basin, awkwardly turning to try and get her hair under the water. She settled for flipping her hair over her head, her eyes staring down into the sink, watching the water turn red. Her arms felt frail and shaky as she threaded her fingers through the tendrils of her dirty strands, trying to pull through the knots that had formed over time. At some point before the prison had fallen she'd braided small braids into her hair and they were still there, so she pulled them out as the water clung to her head.

She worked through the mess carefully, taking her time, watching the water finally turn clear as it cleaned the blood and dirt. It was satisfying, getting her hair clean and she gathered it up in her hands, pulling into a long roll and squeezing it to drain the excess water into the sink. She let it free down her back, the wetness clinging to the back of her neck and shirt. It felt nice - a part of her being clean, but she couldn't shake the terror or the disgust she'd felt from that man.

Without thinking, her hands made it to her waist, tugging the denim higher on her hips, quite aware that the button at the top had fallen off. Her pants felt loose around her waist - the lack of food was catching up with her, so she threaded the rubber band she'd taken from her hair through the holes in her jeans to keep them from falling down.

She was done doing what she'd needed to do and from the sounds of it, Daryl had gone to explore. She didn't know what to do. Her thoughts were catching up to her, screaming in her head. And on top of it all she'd kissed Daryl. As she thought about it, she felt foolish and childish, like a schoolgirl figuring out that she had a crush. It was all so very silly.

Daryl hadn't reacted, or maybe she hadn't let him. It was a weird thing to do, she knew - kissing him. She wasn't even quite sure why she'd done it herself, just that she needed to be close to him at that moment after being manhandled by a stranger. She couldn't really make sense of it, but Daryl was home for her. He was familiar and kind and tender when he needed to be, protective and fierce, especially around her when danger prevailed. She needed him. And it was becoming clear to her now that she might want him in a way she hadn't considered before.

* * *

Daryl grabbed his bow and ran outside into the main room following the sound of fists on a door and screaming. He found the door rattling in its frame. A woman's voice came from the other side - "Help me!" she screamed. "He's turned! Let me out!"

"I'm comin'," Daryl yelled from the other side, his eyes darting quickly back to the door where Beth and him had been staying. The keys still dangled from the keyhole, so Daryl sprinted back, grabbed them and came back, fumbling to stick the key in the lock.

The woman was screaming still, but no longer pounding on the door. Daryl heard the unmistakable groan of a walker on the inside. The lock clicked in his hands and he burst into the room which looked identical to the one he had been in with Beth. The woman was to the left, cornered by the walker.

Daryl reacted quickly, bringing his bow up to shoot. The bolt hit the walker square in the back of the head, but he hadn't been quick enough. As it fell, he saw its teeth tearing away fresh, bloody flesh as it fell backwards, away from the woman. She was bit, and she would turn.

Nevertheless, Daryl ran over to her. She looked as though she was in her mid-thirties with short black hair, dark features and a thin nose. Her shoulder was torn apart, the muscle quite visible under shreds of skin. There was no way to save her.

She was sobbing now, hovering over the dead walker, unperturbed by her mauled shoulder . "Oh Robert," she was sobbing. "No, no, no," she repeated, cradling his head gingerly. She caught her breath and looked up at Daryl with agony in her eyes. "Thanks for trying."

"You're bit," he said, staring at her.

She looked towards her shoulder, her face pained and she winced, bringing her fingers to the shredded flesh. "Yeah,"" she said sadly.

"Sorry," he said. "We could try to wrap it up?" he suggested.

The woman shook her head at him. "Nah. And nothin' to be sorry about. You tried. Was bound to happen sooner or later."

He didn't know how to respond, so he helped her to her feet instead. Together they walked out into the main room, Daryl grabbing the keys back from the door on the way. He tried to guide her towards the table in the makeshift kitchen so she could sit and rest before the inevitable happened, but she wandered off from him, half laughing, half crying. He decided to let her be - who was he to guide someone on how to spend their last hours?

Daryl turned his attention back to the room that Beth was in. He saw her head appear in the doorway looking anxious.

"Hey," Daryl said, jogging over. "You okay?"

"Yeah," she said. Her wet hair hung heavy down her back and over her shoulders, leaving little wet spots on her dirty shirt. He could feel himself staring at her lips, unable to forget their kiss, wanting another one again, so badly. His face flushed against his will and he shoved his hands in his pockets.

"What's goin' on?" she asked him.

"There was some other people in one of the rooms," Daryl said, throwing his head over his shoulder to signal towards the door he'd opened. "One of them turned, the other one is bit. She's wanderin' around."

Beth's face fell. Another dead girl. Another dead man. It seemed endless. "Are there any others?" she asked.

"Haven't checked yet," Daryl responded, feeling slightly anxious about what might be behind the other doors. Beth placed her hand on Daryl's shoulder and then moved past him towards the woman who was now rummaging through the things on the bookshelves, sporadically throwing them on the floor, adding to the mess.

"Hi," Daryl heard Beth say to the woman as he moved towards the next closed door in the room. "I'm Beth," she said. She was so open, so welcoming, so bright. So unlike Daryl. She was too good for him - a light in this dark, decaying world they lived in and he was...well, what was he really? What was he to her? Maybe he was just someone she needed for protection. Nothing more.

He was tired of trying to understand or make sense of it, so he started the task of looking in the other rooms. At the first locked room he put his ear up to the door, hearing silence. Good sign, but didn't mean much. He stuck the key in the lock and turned, opening a room that held a dead man with a knife in his skull, laying face down on a bare mattress. The room was the same as the one he and Beth had been in, so he took a quick look around before moving on.

In the next room he wasn't quite so lucky, being greeted by a pair of walkers, both female and severely decaying, indicating that they'd been trapped for a while. Daryl put them down quietly, leaving their bodies where they landed, scanning the room quickly and exiting. The two rooms after were both empty and Daryl assumed the people who had run and now lay dead in the larger room had been trapped in one and the two men had slept in the other one. He didn't take much time searching for things, wanting to be sure there were no extra bodies to worry about.

The next and last room was locked and wouldn't budge with the key that had opened the rest of the doors. He nudged it with his shoulder, but it was stuck in place, the handle firm and tight. He decided not to pursue it further and realized his exhaustion was setting in.


	10. Chapter 10 - A Kindness

**All I Ever Will Be**

 **Chapter Ten** \- A Kindness

* * *

The realization that there were other people here, ones that could have been saved, was destroying Beth. She was a whirlwind of emotions. There were two bodies strewn about the floor, plus the bloody mess she'd made of the man in the room her and Daryl had been in. Daryl said he'd put down a walker and now, this woman, was a ticking time bomb.

She wanted to keep busy. Wanted to push the day behind her. Move on. Pretend none of it had ever happened. Beth came up behind the woman, announcing herself with a "Hi," and then, "I'm Beth."

The woman didn't turn immediately, continuing to knock things from the bookshelves that were built into the circular pillar, letting them fall with a _thud_ to the floor. "Hi," she said quietly.

Beth didn't pry for her name, but she sat down on one of the couches, watching her intently. She was a small woman with dark hair and a slender figure. She had kicked off her shoes, Beth noticed, discarding them to the side, standing on her tiptoes to reach the things on the top of the bookshelf.

"Whatta think they kept all this down here for?" the woman asked.

"Dunno," Beth answered honestly. "Maybe it wasn't their place. Maybe they took it from someone."

The woman turned then, a steady stream of tears soaring down her cheeks. She wasn't sobbing though, or really crying even. She had a kind face and her features were almost similar to Maggie's, making Beth's heart hurt for a moment, remembering her sister. Missing her and wishing she was with her.

"Yeah, that makes sense," she said. She looked lost. Empty. Like she'd already died here. "You're lucky, you know?" she said to Beth. "Pretty thing like you. They would've destroyed ya."

The comment shocked Beth, making her stomach lurch with disgust, thinking about the moment she'd been pinned underneath that man's weight. The smell of him. She couldn't get rid of it.

The woman sat down on the couch across from Beth, touching her shoulder with her fingers, dipping her fingernails into the wound. Beth cringed as she watched her, pained by her movements, but the woman didn't seem to mind.

* * *

"I don't know how long we'd been here," Daryl heard as he walked in on the conversation. Silent, he sat down on the couch next to Beth. He hoped he was far enough away to not make it awkward. "They always came in messed up - drinkin' or usin'. They raped me almost every night - made my husband watch. Sometimes they'd talk about two other women, but no doubt they're dead too." She rubbed her shoulder, wincing in pain.

"The big one, he just went haywire. Killed Robert right in front of me and just left him in there to turn," she emphasized the last word. "I couldn't do anything to stop it." She was starting to cry. "I tried to prepare myself, you know?" she asked to no one in particular. "To lose him. It's been one bad thing after the next. We were never settled. Never safe."

"Us too," Beth sympathized softly. "I'm so sorry."

The woman looked up at her with tear filled eyes, smiling. "You guys have a chance," she said. "This place," she looked around, "It's big. Always heard them talkin' about how it was impenetrable - keeps the walkers out. You could be safe here. You could build a life. Start somethin'"

"How much do you know about this place?" Daryl asked, realizing immediately how insensitive it was. It was the first time he'd spoke and the first time the woman seemed to notice his presence since he'd released her from the room.

"Not much. Just that there's running water and electricity." She looked at the ceiling. "There must be something above fueling it." The woman wiped her brow with the back of her hand. She was sweating. Was the fever setting in already?

"All I know is that this place wasn't meant to be a prison," she said squeezing her eyes shut and wiping sweat away from her upper lip with her hand. Someone built it for people to live. And these assholes - they turned it into some kind of hellhole." It was silent for a minute then, and the woman stood up from her place on the couch, walking around the pillar and disappearing into the kitchen.

Daryl and Beth looked at each other, not speaking. The silence was enough. Could they have really found a safe place? A truly safe place where they could sleep at night? It seemed too good to be true.

The woman came around the corner then, holding a handgun and a half-filled bottle of red wine. She was taking gulps from the bottle as she walked towards them. She stopped in front of Daryl and dropped the gun in his lap.

"You need to help me," she said to him. "Please." He knew what she wanted. She was asking for the ultimate sacrifice. The ultimate kindness. She wanted him to kill her before she turned.

Daryl stared at the gun and picked it up in his hands, the weight of it feeling unnaturally heavy. It was all in his mind, he knew. It was the weight of what he was going to do next - what he had to do. What he'd want done if it was him. He turned it over in his calloused hands and looked at Beth who had pulled her knees up to her chin, watching him intently.

"Please," the woman said, again. "Just put a bullet through my brain. I can't become one of those things," she said in a whisper. "I want to go as me."

The woman didn't wait for his response as she gulped down the rest of the wine, her back turned to them. When she was done, she placed the empty bottle on the floor and turned around to look at Daryl. "You ready?" It was more of a demand than it was a question.

He looked at Beth again. He wanted her to say it was okay - to give her approval. But she didn't. Her face didn't change, she just studied him as he took it all in.

"Yeah," Daryl said, standing up from the couch, looking away from Beth while feeling an unexplained tightness in his chest.

Daryl followed the woman as she walked back towards the room she'd escaped from earlier, where her husband lay as a monster. She walked into the room and got down on the floor beside him, turning to face him, tears spilling out of her eyes. She paid no attention to Daryl as he stopped in the doorway.

"I love you," she said to the dead man, placing her hand on his cheek. "I'm so sorry we didn't make it."

She glanced at Daryl who stood awkwardly at the door. "Come in," she invited him. He obeyed, coming to stand over her.

The moment was intimately real and excruciatingly devastating. He barely knew this woman but as he watched her his heart grew heavy. She poured her soul out to the dead body of someone she must have loved her whole life. What kind of love was that, Daryl wondered? It was nothing he had ever known. Her face was contorted, tears streaming seamlessly down her face, her thin lips stained with wine. She spoke to her husband in a whisper, saying things that were only meant for him. She had closed her eyes and was sobbing now, gripping onto the clothes of a corpse, wishing the world was oh so different.

But it wasn't - it was hell on earth, this nightmare they were living in where you could die at any moment only to come back and kill those you once loved. It was the cruelest sort of scenario he could imagine and Daryl felt his hands shake slightly as he lifted the gun to point at her brain. The woman was almost silent now,

"Holy Mary, pray for me.

Saint Joseph, pray for me.

Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, assist me in my last agony." She kept her eyes on her husband, but aimed the next words at Daryl.

"Do it."

And he did, the shot echoing loudly in the small room, making his ears ring. He lowered the gun to his side and let it fall with a clatter to the floor. He realized then that he was crying. The tears were unintentional, but he let them sit on his skin. They made him feel human again.

He stared at the woman, wondering why this kill had affected him so much when he knew it was so very necessary. After a short while, he left the room, leaving the bodies behind, not making a move to wipe the tears from his cheek. He walked to Beth, seeking her out, needing to see her face again. When he reached her, she stared at him over her knees.

"Did you do it?" she mumbled.

"Yeah, I did," he said.

"You should've had her do it herself," Beth said angrily. "It's not your place."

"It's a kindness, not a sin," Daryl grumbled, surprised by her words.

"Why's it so easy for you?" she exclaimed suddenly, jumping up from the couch to face him on her feet. "I don't know if I should be impressed or afraid 'a you," she yelled. "I feel like I'm gonna explode from what I did," she said spitting out the last word between her teeth. And suddenly, she crumbled in front of him, collapsing on the floor in an exhausted heap and he felt his frustration with her melt away.

"Beth," he said more loudly than he'd intended. "What you had to do was cruel and...terrible. I'm fucking sorry you had to do it. Sometimes these things - they're just...necessary." And he went to her then, grabbing her and holding her on the floor, rocking them back and forth together. Two broken souls colliding, distraught and angry at their situation with no way out.

She gripped him tighter and let out a heavy breath. "I need you to help me get past this Daryl." She paused and then said in a tiny voice, "I need you."

He couldn't help himself. He put his hands behind her neck and brought her face to his, kissing her. He needed to show her how badly he needed her. His chapped lips met her smooth ones, crashing together eagerly. They were tasting each other now, really truly savoring each other. The closeness was intoxicating. She was so soft and so perfect and so familiar in that moment. He felt her tongue behind her teeth and found it with his own, exploring her mouth slowly, needing to delve into every crevice to taste more of her. She gasped slightly at his perseverance and he smiled mid-kiss, feeling her do the same. A glimmer of happiness.

He broke away, slowly, letting their lips stick together, trying to catch his breath. He took her in, admiring her face, her blue eyes full of lust and her perfect pink lips, swollen from kissing. "I need you too," he said. His eyes met Beth's and she smiled, licking her lips and tasting him.

He could have kissed her again, but sleep had finally caught up to them. Together, they collapsed from sheer exhaustion, intertwined on the floor.


	11. Chapter 11 - No More Running

**All I Ever Will Be**

 _Chapter Eleven - No More Running_

 _A/N: Hey readers - thanks for sticking with this story! This chapter is a little slow, but I wanted to build up a little bit to the next chapter which is going to lead to some interesting new things for Beth and Daryl.  
_

* * *

Whether morning had come or gone, Daryl had no idea but he woke up sore and stiff on the floor with Beth curled up in his arms. He shifted, trying not to wake her up and got to his feet. Gingerly, he lifted her up and placed her on the couch. She stirred slightly, but stayed asleep.

He could still feel her on his lips. He had been so tired and so distraught, he thought it might have been a dream. But now he was awake and alert and he knew it had been real. So real. And she had tasted so good. He lingered for a minute, admiring her beauty as she slept. Even after the hell they'd been through, she still was making him feel something. Was it happiness? He hadn't felt that for so long, it was hard to recognize.

As he walked away from her, Daryl's stomach growled against his will. They were going to need to eat soon. First, he needed to find Beth a weapon that she could use, just in case. He went into the kitchen and over to the counter, scattered with trash. Old food, wrappers, Playboys and cigarette butts were haphazardly laying across the surface. There were liquor bottles everywhere - on the counter, the floor, the table. All these guys must have done was get lit.

Daryl searched the counter, finding another gun which he stowed in his back pocket. As he searched further, he found a few packets of beef jerky. Breakfast. He tucked the packs into the crook of his elbow, then moved to the table surrounded by four chairs. The light hit something that caught his eye and he cleared away the trash, revealing a familiar knife. Beth's knife. He picked it up in his hands, knowing that it was hers, the small hunting knife that she wore on her hip.

He brought it back to her, cradling it in his hand. To his surprise she had woken up when he came around the pillar. She looked back at him over her shoulder, her eyes blue and beautiful. He could just run over and kiss her again - couldn't he? It took all his strength to walk over and not touch her.

"Hey," she said, still sounding sleepy.

"Hey," he replied back, feeling shy. He held the knife out to Beth and she looked at it in bewilderment. "Look what I found."

She smiled then, her grin spreading all the way to her ears. "Awesome!" she exclaimed. She grabbed it from his hand and looked it over.

Daryl stood there watching her, not knowing what to say after the night before. He still wasn't sure how she was feeling. People do all kinds of crazy things in times of anxiety, despair or fear. He realized he was afraid their closeness hadn't meant anything to her.

"How'd you sleep?" he asked uncomfortably.

She looked up at him with a lopsided grin. "Okay, I guess," she said. "I was so exhausted. Sorry I fell asleep on you," she said, not sounding sorry at all.

Daryl shook his head. "Ain't no need to be sorry," he said, a flush rising to his cheeks. "It was nice, ya know." He shrugged.

Beth looked away. "Yeah," she responded. "It was." He wondered if she was talking about the sleep part or the kissing part.

"You hungry?" Daryl asked. He held up the packs of jerky.

Beth looked up at him and shook her head an emphatic yes, reaching out for one. Daryl threw two to her, then sat down on the couch next to her, opening his own and biting into a stick.

He looked over at her as he chewed hungrily and saw that she was tearing off large chunks with her teeth. Damn. Girl must have been hungry.

"Whoa, slow down," Daryl said with a laugh.

Beth smiled, her cheeks full of food. "Sorry," she said, holding her hand over her full mouth. Daryl grinned at her.

They ate the rest of the jerky in silence, both ravenously hungry. When they finished, Daryl got to his feet. "We should search the rooms," he said, "For extra weapons or food." Beth nodded, standing up beside him.

They began their task, both moving into different open rooms that they knew were empty. Neither of them were quite ready to deal with the bodies yet. Daryl's head was still racing from the night before. From shooting the unnamed woman and then kissing Beth, it was a lot to take in. And Beth had kissed him back. She didn't pull away or tell him no - she'd actually kissed him back. She told him she needed him. God, it felt so good to hear her say that. He just hoped that she'd meant it.

The room that Daryl entered was darker than the rest. He looked up to see that one of the lights was missing the from wall with only one on the other side remaining. There were two mattresses, both in different corners of the room.

To the left Daryl found a mattress with stained sheets. The wall beside it had dirty magazine pictures decorating the concrete wall beside it. Beside the mattress were more empty alcohol bottles, cigarette butts and prescription pill bottles. Their most loving possessions - naked women with big tits, drugs, alcohol and cigarettes. If Daryl hadn't know any better, he might have been in Merle's bedroom.

He flipped the mattress over, finding nothing of real value, spare a lone bullet or two. He put them in his pocket for later. On the other side, the scene was similar. Instead of naked women, there were chalk marks written sloppily on the wall. Daryl counted twenty-seven in total. Kills? Prisoners? He had no idea. Beside it, there was a nail hanging from the wall with a small key dangling from it.

The door, Daryl thought, his senses heightened. He grabbed it from the wall and went outside to find Beth.

He found her back to him, standing in the doorway of the room where he'd shot the woman. Her shoulders were trembling. Shit. He should have closed the door.

"Beth," he said, coming up behind her. She turned around quickly, wiping her tears hurriedly against her fists.

"I'm sorry," she said, looking at the floor, embarrassed.

"Don't you go sayin' sorry again. C'mon here," Daryl said, pulling her around to face him. "Don't go lookin' at that. I'll take care of it later."

She looked up at him, her gaze stopping him and rooting him to the ground where he was. Being so close to her was electrifying. Every time he touched her, his senses ignited and he felt so very alive. He took his hand and tucked some of her hair behind her ear, wanting her to be happy again. Every time he thought of the world they lived in and that Beth had to endure this pain, it killed him.

"Daryl," his name rolled off her tongue so smoothly. Her tongue, pink and sweet and soft - he wanted to taste her again. "I don't wanna keep runnin'."

"We're not gonna keep runnin'," he said. He placed his hand over hers, and it landed over his heart. It was unintentional, but he let it rest there anyway. "I promise." He looked around the room. "Look at this place - it's...what'd that woman say...impenetrable. I think we might be safe here."

She let out a soft cry which made him unsure if she was going to start weeping or laughing. So he wrapped his arms tightly around her and squeezed. She nuzzled her head into his chest, bringing her arms in against him. Daryl put his nose down into her hair and inhaled, breathing her scent in and savoring it. Then, after a little bit of hesitation, he kissed her forehead and released her.

"We should get to know this place if we're gonna stay," Daryl said, turning away, afraid to see if she'd reacted to his gesture. He moved then towards the locked door. He still held the lone key in his hand. "We got one more thing to check out."

"What's that?" Beth asked curiously, following him. Daryl laid his palm flat, showing her the key in his hands. "This door over here's been locked. Couldn't open it with the other keys, but I found this one in the other room." He grasped it in his hand. "Grab your knife," he instructed her, taking the gun out of his back pocket and moving to pick up his crossbow. He slung it over his shoulder.

Beth nodded, straightening her posture and going into fight mode. She was so much stronger than she realized and Daryl had to make her see that someday soon. He came upon the door and stuck the key in the lock, turning it. The lock clicked open on the back end.

He pushed the door open, surprised at how heavy it was to open. He cracked it and yelled "HEY!" loudly, and it echoed into the room followed by silence.

"Hang on," Beth said next to him, disappearing for a moment. She returned with one of the chairs from the kitchen in her arms. "Here," she said, offering Daryl the chair.

"Good idea," Daryl said with a nod and he pushed the door open with his back. He stuck the chair underneath the handle propping the door open on the inside. It stayed put and they both entered the room together.

The room was small and cold, lit with a single light to the side of the door. In the center of the room rose a tall spiral staircase made from black metal. Daryl looked up and saw that the end disappeared into the dark ceiling.

Beth had made her way to the bottom stair and was squinting into the distance. She looked at Daryl who met her eyes. "Well?" she urged him. "Are we going up or what?"


	12. Chapter 12 - Safe House

**All I Ever Will Be**

 _Chapter Twelve - Safe House_

* * *

They climbed the stairs together, Beth behind Daryl. The staircase was so narrow there was only room for one of them to go at a time. The ceiling at the top of the stairs was low so that they had to duck when they reached it. As Daryl's eyes adjusted, he found a hatch door built into the ceiling.

He felt around it blindly, feeling a lever. Tugging on it, he sensed it release. He paused then and looked back towards Beth. The floor from which they'd came was a long way back now. "You good?" he asked her. "I'm gonna open it."

"Go on," Beth said. "I'm ready."

He looked back at the door, pushing it upwards. It was heavier than he expected. With a deep grunt, Daryl heaved it open until it fell back the other way and slammed into a solid surface. He stood up straight and cocked his gun, pointing it through the hole, not knowing what to expect. The light that was shining through the hatch door was blinding.

He blinked, letting his eyes adjust to a quiet, enclosed room with two windows to the left. The floor through which they'd come was a solid slab of stone. The room was cold and gray with shelving on the walls that held labeled plastic boxes. Squinting he made out what a few of them said - Christmas decorations, extension cords, tools. A few feet away, Daryl saw a Mercedes parked, covered in dust. In the corner, mountain bikes laid, forgotten, on top of each other.

They were in someone's garage.

Daryl hoisted himself out of the hole, reaching in again to help Beth out. The two of them made it to their feet, leaving the hatch door open in case they needed to escape again. They were still on guard, unsure of their surroundings.

Beth started towards one of the windows where sunlight shone through. She stood in the warmth of the sun, closing her eyes to enjoy it. Daryl looked around the room, trying to take in how large it was. He wondered what else they were going to discover today. What the hell was this place? Was this some kind of safe-house? Daryl had heard of people doing shit like this, but never actually following through with it.

"Daryl," Beth said, staring out of the window. "Come here."

He turned and joined her at the window, his eyes adjusting to the blue sky outside. They were in a house alright, on a large plot of land, with forest surrounding them on each side. In the distance Daryl saw a collection of large, white wind turbines. Impressive and no doubt what was fueling the electricity and running water.

"Holy shit," he said.

Beth looked at him, her eyes wide with excitement. A smile crept to her face. "Can you believe this?" she said excitedly, looking towards the opposite wall. There was a door there that would surely open up to the rest of the house. She started walking over towards it. "C'mon Daryl," she said practically skipping.

He brought his gun up again and grabbed her shoulder tightly. "Wait," he said. "Let me go first."

Beth sighed, letting Daryl go ahead of her. He sensed his overprotectiveness was annoying her, but he'd rather be safe than sorry. He reached the door and turned the handle slowly, not knowing what to expect. Sticking his head into the next dark room he could see shoes on the floor and coats hanging on hooks. No sign of urgency or struggle here - just a normal room in a house where people hung up their coats. To the left side of the room was an expensive looking washer and dryer. He almost laughed at the ridiculousness of them. Beyond that, the room was empty.

He waved Beth into the room with him, still moving quietly. They walked through the room and into the next doorway. Daryl wasn't believing what he was seeing.

They had entered a large kitchen, made from a white pine wood with black marble countertops and stainless steel appliances. The dark countertops stretched completely around the room. In the middle there was a long island that had wooden chairs lined up against it. He took the room in, realizing the floor, the walls, even the ceilings were made from wood. It made the space smell fresh and woodsy - familiar.

At the end of the kitchen there was a long table with chairs - a dinner table. Daryl looked beyond the dining space and saw an even larger living area. In the middle was an impressive stone fireplace its smoke chamber disappearing into the high ceiling of the room. In front of it was a wrap-around couch with pillows and blankets. To the right of the fireplace - a hallway. To the left throughout the kitchen and living area there were floor to ceiling windows. They revealed a breathtaking view of the wind turbines and forest beyond. Sunlight poured in from the windows, making the house look shiny, bright and welcoming.

"Wow," Daryl heard himself say.

He looked at Beth who had made her way to the dining area next to the kitchen. She was running her fingers across the surface of the dinner table, her eyes glancing over every detail of the room. Her mouth was wide open - she was in awe of what they'd stumbled across. And if Daryl was being honest with himself, he was too.

He still wanted to be cautious. Coming closer to her, he placed his hand gently on her shoulder. "Let's check out the rest of this place - make sure we're not gonna run into anything or...anyone," Daryl said to her in a whisper.

Beth nodded at him. They walked together, side by side both filled with curiosity with what this place held. He could feel her excitement as she stood beside him and it made him indescribably happy. Maybe, just maybe, they could stay here for a while.

They entered the living area. To the right the room lengthened underneath a second floor balcony into the front of the house. They decided to explore the hall beyond the living area. Down it he and Beth found a bathroom (bigger than Daryl's entire childhood home), a room filled with exercise equipment and another filled with bookshelves, large cushy chairs and to Beth's excitement - a piano.

Once they'd cleared those rooms, and Beth took a go at the piano, they moved to the front of the house. The front foyer had a wide curved staircase that led to the second floor. The front of the house had windows, though nothing near as large as the ones in the back. The front double doors were made of heavy wood and featured over five different locks on the back. The owners of this house weren't fucking around.

Beth had come up to the door and was inspecting the locks. "Nobody forced their way in," she said thoughtfully, her fingers gliding over the deadbolts.

"Huh?" Daryl asked.

"Those guys didn't force their way in - whoever lived here let them in."

Daryl thought about it for a minute and realized she was right. They'd walked right into this place and took it. Just like the Governor had at the prison. Anger rose in his chest, but he did his best to shrug it off, turning towards a room on the left with the doors closed. He opened them together, both hands pushing on the handles and walked in. This room was dark due to a heavy curtain shielding the large window. There was a handsome oak desk in the middle of the room and a corpse slumped over in the chair, their head down on the table.

Beth walked in behind Daryl and he saw her take in the room. Daryl swept the corners and then went to inspect the body. He was quite certain they were dead but it was always best to be sure.

As he came around the back of the desk, Beth inspected the front, picking up a silver nameplate. "Professor Sylvester Watkins," she read out loud, delicately placing it back on the desk.

The professor was quite dead alright. His head had a few bullet woulds through the back, indicating that someone had shot in in a hurry. Daryl sighed, moving away, but before he did he looked down at the desk.

Across the wide table were large sheets of blue paper with an outline of some sort. He recognized it immediately - a blueprint. His interest peaked, and he pulled the corpse back in the chair which rolled on wheels. The head stuck slightly to the desk, but he was able to pull it off with a tug of its hair.

"Daryl - what?" he heard Beth ask.

"Look," he said, fingering the paper. "It's a blueprint." He eyed it closer, realizing it showed a house with a large area underneath. The bunker. "I think it's an answer to what this place is."

Beth had come around to stand next to him, her eyes searching the paper. "That lady was right - this place is massive. Like an underground city or something." Daryl picked the top paper up revealing a few more blueprints beneath.

"Mmhmm," Daryl said, beginning to roll the papers up into a tube. He wanted to take it out to the other room to look more thoroughly at what they might be dealing with. Underneath where the papers had been, a few scattered items were strewn. Daryl's eyes glazed over them, stopping on a moleskin notebook with "The Compound" scribbled on the cover. He grabbed it, along with the blueprints and they exited the room.

It took Daryl and Beth the rest of the daylight hours to finish searching the remainder of the rooms and get rid of the corpse they'd found in what Beth was calling a "study". Daryl was unconvinced that anyone needed an entire room to just study, but there'd been plenty of unnecessary rooms they'd stumbled upon.

The sun had set and after they'd both taken glorious showers in the ridiculously large bathroom, Beth and Daryl sat in the living area. Daryl had built a large fire burning in the fireplace while Beth had carefully closed the blinds to ensure they weren't drawing too much attention in case someone stumbled across the house.

The men had raided the underground bunker all right - according to the blueprint there was an entire stockpile of food in the makeshift kitchen which they'd eaten their way through. However, they'd failed to raid the house for food and the professor was prepared on all counts - stocking his own kitchen with non-perishable food as well. It would last them for a while. Although Daryl still wasn't opposed to eventually hunting for some real substantial meat for Beth and himself. But for now, this was heaven.

They sat shoulder to shoulder on the couch, eating through a jar of pickles, peanut butter, and a box of stale crackers. Beth had even found them some chocolate chips which tasted way better than Daryl remembered. Once they were good and full, they sat in silence together, staring at the fire.

Beth looked up towards the ceiling. "This place is beautiful," she said softly. "I wish we could stay here forever.

Daryl looked at her seriously. "Who says we can't?" he asked carefully.

Beth turned her gaze towards him with those eyes of her and smiled. "Nothin' is forever anymore."

"C'mon, you don't know that," Daryl said, saddened that she'd started to lose some of her hopefulness. He reached for her hand. He was surprised by his own forwardness, but she accepted his large fingers between her thin ones easily. She felt warm and tiny - a small beam of light that was growing within him.

She leaned her head against his shoulder then. "Do you think we're really safe here?" she asked.

Daryl paused for a minute before he said, "We can be." He knew it might be far-fetched to promise something like that. The world was so uncertain, but it might be a real possibility. God, he had to believe that. They were meant to stumble across this place. Hell, they deserved this place.

"Do you think we'll ever find our group again?" she asked candidly. It was the first time they'd talked about the prison in a long time. Daryl knew he thought about it daily - how much he missed Rick, Carol, Michonne, Carl, Glenn and the others. But Beth, watching her Dad murdered in cold blood by the Governor. Then losing Maggie and Judith - he was surprised this was the first time she'd brought it up.

"I dunno," he mumbled sadly.

The conversation brought him back to that place - the chaos of what happened. Watching Hershel die, the Governor and his people storming straight in and taking it all. He had tried - tried so hard to keep them all safe and he felt like he'd failed them. He'd done all he could before Beth and him took off, alone. For a while there, he knew Beth wished she was with anyone but him and he'd sort of wished he was alone too. He was dumb and angry. Now he knew he wouldn't have survived without her.

"I wish Maggie and my Daddy could see this place," Beth said, sitting up then and crossing her legs on the couch. She stared into the ceiling. "They would love it."

"I bet they would," Daryl replied. "They all would."

"At least we're together," Beth breathed, turning to look at him. She bit her lip, her teeth tugging at the soft skin and he was so captivated by the motion - it was driving him mad.

"Yeah." He looked at her and she was lost in thought. Sweet Beth, looking away dreamily, her skin glowing from the light of the fire. He hated how badly he wanted her, the woman in her. He didn't understand it, the distracting obsession he felt when it came to her. It was like nothing he'd ever felt before.

"Beth," he said suddenly, staring at her, needing her, being so close to her, holding her hand. He shifted, trying to get close to her, grasping for her other hand awkwardly. "I just..." he was at a loss for words. "Can I kiss you?" Awkward and clumsy Daryl, never knowing the right thing to say. He expected her to recoil from him then after his schoolboy crush request, but instead she gave a breathy laugh, moving to turn towards his face, her eyes dancing across his features, taking him in.

She pushed her hand into the couch to support herself as she slowly got on her knees. To his surprise, she swung her leg over his body so that she was sitting on top of him, straddling him. It was so forward and he tensed immediately, not knowing what to do - where to touch her, what to think. He wasn't sure how to handle it. How to handle her. He wasn't even sure how to want her the right way. Killing walkers, hunting game, loading his bow - those were the things he was good at. Being intimate was something he'd never mastered. Nothing he'd experienced had ever come close to being this intoxicating.

She was running her fingers over his chest now, over the t-shirt that he wore. He just sat there, his skin burning from the touch of her fingertips through the thin fabric. Their faces were level now and Beth leaned forward so that their foreheads rested against each other. She was asking him to kiss her without really asking. And although he felt anxious and afraid, he leaned forward to catch her lips with his own.


	13. Chapter 13 - Healing

**All I Ever Will Be**

 _Chapter Thirteen - Healing_

* * *

He kissed her, nearly missing her mouth he was so eager. Lip to lip, the kiss was delicate at first and then he took control of her mouth with his. He opened her lips with his tongue and tasted her, wanting to devour her completely. Her hands cupped his face beneath his hair, guiding their faces together. He felt her explore his own mouth with her tongue - timid and shy, trying to get a sense of his reaction.

Gaining confidence he reached up and grasped her waist with his hands, her thin body feeling frail underneath his fingers. She was so close to him now, her chest pushed up against his. He let his hands rest on her hips, wanting to do something else with them but not knowing what.

Her mouth left his, leaving a trail of kisses across his cheek and down his jaw as she moved to his neck. He almost jumped out of his seat when her lips made contact with his skin there - not realizing how very sensitive he was and he struggled to decide whether or not he wanted to pull away or keep going. Daryl wasn't used to letting people get this close. It had been so fucking long and never like this.

He decided to let her to keep going - she felt too good, too real for him to do anything but just sit there and hold her. He felt a jolt deep in his belly travel into his pelvis and excite him as she let her lips touch his earlobe. The stimulation erupted all over his body, and he nudged his head under hers to catch her lips, greedily kissing her again.

Her hands were everywhere now, in his hair, around his neck, on his face. Like she was memorizing every detail of him with her fingertips. All he could focus on was kissing her and smelling her and feeling her on top of him, right over his groin. She was so warm and the pressure of having her on his lap was so inviting.

She pulled away suddenly and he watched her as she reached for the underside of her shirt, lifting it at the edges. In the still moment, it was the first time Daryl even considered something else happening beyond their initial closeness - holding her hand, kissing her - he'd needed it, and he thought she did too - just to feel something after what they'd been through. But he hadn't considered more. They were living day by day and he had just been focused on surviving. But now - it was different. They'd had the time to stop and think and just be with each other.

She was stunningly beautiful in the flickering light behind her, looking lustfully at Daryl and he couldn't stop staring at her. She picked the fabric up, pulling her t-shirt over her head and off, absentmindedly discarding it on the floor beside them. Her drank in her body - milky smooth skin, sprinkled with freckles. Her blonde hair flowed perfectly over her shoulders leading to her slender arms, long and muscular. Her breasts rested in a plain white bra that didn't quite fit right. He knew he was staring at her, wanting to set her chest free, but he didn't care if she saw.

Beth smiled at him playfully, watching his eyes and pawed gently at the shirt he was wearing. "Take this off," she whispered to him, her voice sending another jolt through his body and he felt the excitement in his pants grow. He fumbled for the sides of his shirt, scrambling to get it over his head and as he did he threw it behind the couch, forgotten. She was kissing him again, her fingers traveling all over his chest, exploring his skin gently.

Her chest and torso met his and she was so warm and smooth and gentle as she moved and touched him, like she knew exactly what he wanted. Goosebumps formed on his skin and his fingers twitched as he gripped her hips tighter in his hands. She writhed on top of him out of - Pleasure? Pain? Discomfort?

"Am I hurtin' you?" he asked into her mouth.

She brought her head back and looked at him. "God no," she said. Gently she took her fingertips and brushed some of his hair out of his eyes. "You can touch me Daryl."

It was all he needed. Permission. He wrapped his arms around her torso and nuzzled his nose into her neck, breathing deeply, smelling her. It was pure Beth - no sweat or dirt or flower-scented soap, it was a sweet, natural smell that he couldn't describe. He let his lips touch her skin and felt her shiver in his arms, her hands reaching his shoulders. He licked her skin softly, trailing up to her ear. Her fingernails dug sharply into his shoulders and she arched slightly.

She was drawing circles with her fingers at the nape of his neck now and humming slightly with pleasure as he found the back of her bra. His fingers grabbed at the clasp, trying to remember how to take it off, realizing he didn't even recall this part of being with a woman. My god, he'd survived the apocalypse and couldn't even take a bra off.

Beth found his hands behind her back, gently pushing them away and doing the deed herself. A blush rose to his cheeks and he felt defeated momentarily. The feeling was forgotten as the flimsy piece of underwear fell away letting her breasts fall free. They were small and round with pearl sized nipples that perked to attention in front of him.

He might as well have been drooling as he watched her and she noticed, giving him a sort of cocky smirk as she put two fingers underneath his chin and lifted his face to look at her. Their eyes met and it took all of his strength not to unbuckle himself right there. But Beth deserved better. The flames of the fire danced behind her, throwing shadows across her skin. He shifted underneath her, pulling her body closer to him, finding her mouth, wondering how she tasted better every single time their lips met.

Daryl brought his hands up her sides, over her arms and down the front of her, grappling at her breasts, feeling the smooth skin there, hoping his hands weren't too rough for her. His palm brushed over her pink nipples and they hardened beneath his fingers as they playfully toyed with them. She took a sharp intake of breath then, reacting to the sensation of his touch. They were a mess of tongues and lips and saliva but he kept his hands cupping her chest, rubbing his thumb across her sensitive skin. Her breath became shorter and he smiled slightly knowing she enjoyed it.

He was so wrapped up - so intensely connected with her that he barely noticed her fingers making their way to his back. She pushed her palms flat, then down his his shoulders and towards his spine and he froze, his eyelids snapping back. He leaned sharply back against the couch, away from her body.

She looked at him, her eyes wide. "I'm - I'm sorry," she stammered, bringing her arms quickly across her chest. He'd forgotten. How could he have forgotten so easily? His scars - they were his and his alone and he'd kept them that way since he was a boy. He wasn't ready for anyone else to see them. To get this close. To know what he'd endured.

Glancing at Beth he was suddenly aware that she had felt like she'd done something wrong. He reached out for her, his hands landing on her arms. "I'm sorry," he said shaking his head and looking down.

Beth dropped her head to meet his gaze knowingly. "It's okay Daryl," she said softly. "I saw you - gettin' changed once," she said. "I know."

She knew and she hadn't been repulsed or afraid or pried for more answers. She was still here with him, wanting to explore him - every inch of his body, scars and all. She hadn't been afraid to touch him. He looked at her, really looked at her now, wanting to understand why she was doing this with him. Why she was wanting him like this. She smiled kindly at him and he felt a sense of comfort, the feeling of _being okay_. Was that even possible anymore?

They'd stopped kissing and touching intimately now and Daryl felt guilty, like he'd ruined the moment. Beth sat back down on the couch next to him and put her small hands behind his neck and down his back. He turned to face her, apologetic - wanting to explain how badly he wanted her, but she stared at him, smiling, pushing him away from her so that his back faced her.

Uncomfortably, he shifted, so very aware that he was letting her see him - all of him, knowing she could see every deep lash that lay permanently on his skin. He looked to the ceiling, apprehensive and self-conscious but as she placed her hands on his shoulders and slid them down, really _feeling_ him, he relaxed, letting his breath flow freely.

"Oh Daryl," he heard her whisper as her fingers explored the ugliness of his scars.

"It's not so bad," he tried to reason.

Anxiety welled in his chest and he wanted to turn around and pull on his shirt, pretend it hadn't happened, pretend she didn't know, but before he knew what was happening, he felt her lips kiss his skin slowly. Every scar he knew was there, she was pressing her lips against them, as if she was trying to heal them.

"Beth," he said softly, looking over his shoulder. "You don't gotta."

"I wanna," she breathed into his skin, continuing to kiss him and he let her. She felt so good and graceful - like something he'd been missing his whole life, but didn't know he needed. She worked her way over his skin, slowly and tenderly, her soft lips brushing his rough wounds, gently touching him all the while. It was the most affectionate thing he'd ever endured.

And then she pulled him around towards her and caught him in a kiss, relishing him and he suddenly needed her more than any of the times before. "You didn't deserve that life," she said softly into his lips, bringing her hands to meet his face. "You're a good man. Such a good man."

It was overwhelming, hearing her say those words. He didn't understand her immediate acceptance of who he was, not just after the turn, but before. He realized he didn't just want her, he wasn't just protecting her, they didn't just end up together, this was something more. He needed her more than he realized.

He reached for her shoulders and she fell into him. They laid down together, Daryl with his arms behind his head and Beth beside him, curled up, fitting into the curve of his body perfectly. He was pleased that she didn't move to put her shirt back on as she pulled a blanket from the back of the couch to cover them both.

She closed her eyes then, pecking at his shoulder blades with her lips and he sensed her breathing slowing as she started drifting off to sleep. He looked at her, her eyelids closed, her pink lips, plump and moist from kissing, her hair wavy and soft, tickling his skin. He felt safe and warm and content - like nothing mattered, like the world wasn't slowly dying outside these walls and he fell asleep easily for the first time in years.


	14. Chapter 14 - Discovery

**All I Ever Will Be**

 _Chapter Fourteen - Discovery_

Author's Note: Hope you guys are enjoying the story so far! Sorry that this chapter is a bit of a transition chapter, but hope you all enjoy it just the same. As always your reviews, follows and favorites are very much appreciated! Also, so looking forward to (but also very nervous for) the last two episodes of the Walking Dead!

* * *

 _Merle sat in the recliner, a beer on his knee, staring at the TV. He was cackling at something and Daryl watched him from between the door and the wall - his childhood bedroom. It was something he did often, watched his brother from beyond. Admired him in a way he hadn't admired his father. Merle had always protected Daryl. His father hadn't._

 _Daryl shifted in the door and caught Merle's eye, the light of the TV in his pupils. His big brother gave him a look that told him to go back to bed, but he didn't want to. He wanted to be with someone - be close to someone, even if it was just sitting on the couch with him. He craved it. Exiting his room, he walked slowly, dragging his hand across the wall beside him, as though he was worried he'd lose his way._

 _Behind him he heard the familiar thud of footsteps and panic shook his heart which started to beat out of his chest. Merle was sticking out his finger angrily, pointing to the door behind Daryl from where he'd come and he scrambled back to his room knowing their father was seconds behind him._

 _He heard them yelling, then fighting, then fists meeting skin and bodies meeting walls. Daryl laid on top of his mattress, pulling covers over his head, wishing it would stop. It was his fault, he knew it. All he wanted was not to be alone._

* * *

Daryl woke with a start, his leg twitching involuntarily underneath Beth who lay with her arm draped over top of him, her face squished up against his side and sunlight illuminating her naked back. Just one glance at her had wiped away the dream, leaving it forgotten in his subconscious.

Barely awake he saw Beth's lips turn upwards in a smile, feeling her cheeks shift on his chest. "Don't move," she said in a strained voice, sounding sleepy. "Not yet." She put her hand square on his belly and pushed, pretending to hold him down.

"Hmph," Daryl laughed despite himself. "Okay, but we can't lay here forever."

Beth looked up at him then, her eyes half open with hair falling in her face and frowned. "Why not?" she whined.

He sat up on his elbows then and she grunted, sitting up beside him. She pulled the blanket they'd shared up to her chin, but from where he was sitting he still had a view of her bare chest from underneath the blanket. She wasn't making a move to hide herself at all. And he was okay with that.

"We need to figure out where we are. And we need to cover up that...entrance in the forest," he said uncomfortably, trying to be polite and avert his eyes. "Not sure 'bout this house, but least we know the bunker's safe - don't want nobody finding that back entrance."

Beth sighed. "You're right," she said, leaning towards the floor. She had picked up her shirt and casually slid it over her head and pulled her arms through. She looked at him then, her face level with his bicep. Big blue eyes under long eyelashes stared at him and he was lost again, so he grabbed her cheek with his hand and brought her face to his to kiss her. A soft kiss, barely touching her lips with his own, just to make sure she was still okay with it. She inhaled deeply, like she was savoring the moment before the kiss ended. When it did, she pressed her nose gently against his and moved it back and forth before she swung her legs over the side of the couch to stand up.

Daryl followed suit, stretching his arms behind his back. He watched her as she walked to the bathroom, running his fingers through his hair.

She was acting so mellow. Like the night before was just something that happened between two people. Like she was okay being so intimate and close to him. Like things were somehow normal and they hadn't been fighting and killing non-stop for god knows how long. Daryl had never felt normal a day in his life. Everything was always chaos, it was always shitty. Feeling pleasure or happiness or safety - it just wasn't something that happened to him. He was still on fire, every part of him alive - still reeling from how she'd touched him and explored him. Beth had healed something inside of him last night and he wanted more.

The blueprints laid forgotten on the long wooden table next to the ridiculously large kitchen. Daryl sat at the table munching on some kind of granola bar that Beth had thrown to him out of the pantry. It was strawberry something-or-other, but it tasted like ass.

She plopped down in the chair next to him, her hair wet from another shower she'd taken. They'd been denied the luxury for so long he didn't want to tell her to be stingy with the water. She broke a piece of the granola bar off with her teeth. "So what's the plan?" she asked.

He stood up and reached for the blueprints, spreading them across the table. He flipped through them, landing on one that showed the lay of the land. From the paper it looked like a few acres or so. They'd be able to sweep that in a few hours.

"We need to sweep the perimeter of this land," he said, pointing his finger to the piece of paper and dragging it along the edges where the forest met the open grass. "We should see what's beyond the forest - if there's anything protecting us here or if we're in the middle of open land where anyone can sneak up on us."

Beth nodded, watching him as he talked over the paper.

"Gotta find the place where we first came in too. It'll be somewhere out in the woods, so we'll need to look closely to see if we can track the path we made." He looked at Beth who seemed relaxed and focused. "You still got your knife?" Daryl asked.

"Yeah," Beth said, pulling it from her jeans. He was relieved she hadn't relaxed too much. Being here, it was easy to change and feel a false sense of security. The possibility of safety was exhilarating, but it was almost too good to be true. They still needed to be careful.

The day was bright and cloudless, though there was a notable chill in the air. Fall was threatening its welcome and Daryl knew that winter would be their worst enemy. If they could ride out the winter here, they could really make something out of it. Not just surviving, but maybe even enjoying this place. Enjoy being together. Just him and Beth.

Beth was still in her short sleeved t-shirt and as they walked out of the house he noticed the hair on her skin stand up on end. "You cold?" he asked, trying to sound nonchalant, shifting his crossbow on his back.

"No," she lied, rubbing her arm. "Well, I won't be once we get movin'," she said, determined.

"Hmph," he said, closing the door of the house behind them. He moved down the stairs and to the left to make his way across the grass, his boots feeling heavy on his feet. Beth stayed by his side, keeping pace with him as they walked. He wanted to say something to her, but Beth broke the silence first.

"Daryl?" she asked.

"Mmhm?" he replied, looking straight ahead across the grassy lawn, towards the trees ahead.

"Thanks," was all she said.

He slowed his steps then and turned towards her. "For what?" he asked.

"For pretendin' everything was normal last night," she responded. "I needed that."

Daryl almost stopped as he was walking then. Why was she thanking him? Didn't she know what she'd done to him last night? How good she'd made him feel? "Beth," he said, not knowing how to start. "I didn't do nothin'..." he trailed off. "You...were so..." Why was this so hard for him? He didn't know what to say. "You didn't need to..." He couldn't find the ends of his sentences.

"I need you," Beth said, grabbing his hand. She looked up at him and he thought his heart was going to jump out of his chest. "I wanna be with you."

"Me too," he managed to mumble. "Listen," he sighed, stopping now and turning to look at her. "I'm not good at lettin' people get close," he said, finally finding his words. "It doesn't come easy to me."

She moved her hand up to his elbow and squeezed his arm. "You're just fine at gettin' close," she said, a blush forming on her cheeks. She looked away, embarrassed then. "I mean, I like it when you get close. To me." She was the one who was getting flustered now, and he relaxed a bit.

"I like it too," he offered. There was something about actually saying it. Actually hearing the words out loud that made it real. They started walking again, Daryl gripping Beth's hand and happiness welled up in his chest and he swore he could have floated away in that moment. Is this what it felt like to be this close to someone?

They'd reached the edge of the woods now, and Daryl returned to being on guard, looking up and down the tree line. It was eerily empty and silent. "Let's head out a little further," he said, pulling Beth forward with him.

The forest was beautiful and deep, spread for miles beyond them with no end in sight. The leaves were hinting that they were starting to change color now, turning the landscape into a beautiful sea of green, yellow and orange. Sunlight broke through, sending strands of light across the forest floor, covered in twigs and dirt. There were no walkers in sight, which Daryl found oddly worrisome, but he decided to ignore it.

They walked a ways until the house was no longer visible behind them. Daryl tried to see if he recognized any parts of the trees they'd seen before Beth had fallen into the hole, but things were starting to look the same. He wasn't picking up any sort of tracks here. He needed a point of reference.

He was so wrapped up in his quest to find the hole that when he tripped over the ankle length wire he was legitimately surprised. He stumbled, falling to his knees, feeling the wire snap underneath him.

Oh fuck. A trigger.

Fear erupted inside of him and for a split second the world stopped as he heard himself yell, "BETH - RUN!" and scramble to his feet. He saw Beth in front of him in the distance, turned towards him still. She was still, quiet, although her face was screwed up in panic as he started to move his legs.

Why wasn't she moving? "RUN!" he yelled frantically at Beth. Finally, he saw her understand his words, and she turned, her feet kicking the dirt up around her as she started running.

His legs were moving and he willed them to move faster knowing he wasn't going quick enough. Danger was seconds behind him and he wasn't going to be able to get out of the way in time. He sucked in a breath of air and suddenly the world slowed down and hot fire erupted behind him and he knew he'd triggered a bomb. He was so close. Too close. The force of the explosive pushed him outwards into the air so forcefully that he slammed into solid bark and hit the ground of the forest floor.


	15. Chapter 15 - Aftermath

**All I Ever Will Be**

 _Chapter Fifteen - Aftermath_

Author's Note: Couldn't keep you guys hanging on for too long after the last chapter! I've read a few different stories where Beth is written as weak and fragile, and I really wanted to write her with some fight in her for this story. I think she was an underestimated character, even from Daryl's perspective. After some time with Daryl and getting used to being out in the world, I feel like she'd learn to fend for herself and really have Daryl's back. I tend to think of them evolving into a Bonnie/Clyde type duo as opposed to Daryl just sheltering Beth. Also, I know I've been writing this from Daryl's POV but I think I might switch over to Beth's POV for the next few chapters - what do you guys think? [P.S. Happy Easter to those who celebrate and Happy Walking Dead Day!]

* * *

The world was still and Daryl's eyes were glued to the sky between the trees. It was so blue. Bright blue, just like Beth's eyes. He was on his back, his body shocked, unmoving. He was neither hot nor cold, pain hadn't settled into his nerves yet. There was smoke rising above him, clouding his line of vision, deep into the sky. And the heat - oh the heat was so intense. His eyes were watering against the element.

Above him stood Beth, on her feet, then on her knees, then on her feet again, tears spilling out of her eyes and onto her cheeks, onto the ground, onto him. She was screaming, but he couldn't hear her. His ears were ringing violently from the explosion. He watched Beth look around desperately but they were alone - so very alone. How could he have been so stupid? How could he have been so fucking distracted? He deserved it, he supposed, for not paying attention.

Her face was above his now, looking at him, her hands gripping the side of his face. She was breathtaking, even in her moment of panic. Her lips were saying his name, searching for a sign of life. On cue, he blinked and she caught her breath before erupting into a panic again, weeping over his lifeless body. He wanted to reach out to her but realized his limbs weren't working - his brain wasn't communicating with the rest of his body.

He broke out into a sweat then, the world coming back into focus and the pain finally settled in his head, his neck, into his shoulders deep into his chest and lower back all the way down through his legs, feet, down into his toes. His skin was burning - he felt like it was tearing away from his bones.

"Daryl?" he heard her say his name, but he couldn't move and couldn't respond. Beth seemed lost, not knowing what to do or how to react or how to help him. She couldn't carry him, of course she couldn't - she was so small and delicate, even the way she killed. How could he have let this happen?

Suddenly, she was under him, her arms were under his back, helping him to his knees. The smoke around him clouded his vision as he stumbled forward with Beth's help, his head rolling on his neck. He fell head first, not able to get his arms out in front of him and when he opened his eyes again, blood poured over his eyelids from what was most likely a head wound. Beth was under his arms now, forcing him up and he felt her - strong as she was - she was helping him to his feet.

She was on the left side of him but he couldn't see her, he could only see darkness and bits and pieces of the landscape as he lay limp against her tiny body. She guided him back towards the edge of the forest, his feet crossing over themselves every which way as he walked with her help. He caught sight of a clearing and the green grass in the distance - the blue sky peering through.

He fell again, falling over his heavy feet and legs, all the way over Beth, bringing her down with him and she was whimpering and saying his name over and over as she inhaled deeply like she was gathering her strength again. He wasn't sure he was going to get up this time, but she was underneath him still, her arm firm around his back which felt disjointed and painful. He was so aware of the pain now - it was blinding. He wanted to lay down right where he was and fall asleep.

Then after what seemed like a lifetime, the house was there, in front of them. "Just a little more, Daryl, come on - keep goin'," he heard her say shakily and he tried to obey and listen and keep himself going as best he could - for her. The stairs were a struggle and he fell twice, knees landing on the pavement - a shock to his already damaged body.

Beth left his side as they reached the top stair and he watched her push the front door open. She was covered in blood - who's blood, her blood? His blood? "Beth," he tried to say, but his lips were stuck together. She came back for him - he hadn't doubted she would - and got on her knees next to him.

"Daryl, I need you to get inside, please," she begged him, and he willed himself to do just that. She pulled his arm around her shoulder and got to her feet, supporting him as he suffered to stand and stumbled the extra few feet inside. They both toppled over the threshold into the house and he collapsed on the wooden floor.

* * *

When Daryl woke up again, he was in a bedroom, alone, propped up with pillows in a proper bed. How had he gotten here? He briefly remembered Beth tending to his wounds and laying in the living area on the couch. Beth had moved him upstairs at some point, helping him into new clothes and back into bed. She'd woken him a few times to get some water into his system, but he'd no idea how long he had been out of commission.

The curtains to the left of him were drawn shut but he could see it was night, as there was no sunlight visible beneath them. The room he was in was large - the bed a handsome four-poster with heavy blankets and curtains that could enclose him in if he wanted. A single light, situated on the floor, illuminated his surroundings.

He looked down at his body, a sudden fear consuming him remembering what had happened. Walking. Exploring. Tripping. Explosion. Pain. Beth. Did he have all of his limbs? How long had he been asleep? Where was Beth? He tried sitting up straight, but a pain shot down his spine. He gritted his teeth, moving through it, wanting to sit upright. He needed to find her and make sure she was okay.

As if she'd read his thoughts, the door opened in front of him and Beth stood there with a tray of food and water. Her eyes widened at the sight of him and she hurried in, placing the tray down on a chest that sat at the end of the bed.

"Daryl," she exclaimed, rushing next to him. "You're awake!"

"What the hell happened?" he asked her, admitting defeat to himself and falling back into the pillows.

Beth hoisted herself up on the bed and got on her knees to get closer to him. She placed the back of her hand on his forehead and felt it. "How's your head? How do you feel?" she asked. She moved some of his hair out of his eyes so that he could see her clearly.

Daryl went to bring his arm up to swat her hands away, annoyed she wasn't answering his question, but his left arm was caught and when he looked down, he realized she had put him in a makeshift sling. "Hmph," Daryl growled, frustrated.

"Don't move your arm," Beth scolded him. "I think it's only fractured, but the bone could be broken. Can't tell," she said, shaking her head. "Leave it be - it needs to heal properly."

"How long have I been like this?" Daryl asked, catching her eyes with his narrowed ones.

Beth sighed, looking down, playing with her fingers nervously.

"Beth?" he asked again, trying to meet her eyes.

"About a week," she mumbled, looking away.

"A week!?" he exclaimed.

"Daryl!" she breathed frustratedly. "You were practically blown up! You're lucky you weren't killed or blown apart! A week is nothin'!" she said hysterically.

"A week's a long time for you to be on your own, takin' care of my ass," he said. He groaned to himself, his body feeling foreign and broken as he lay in the large oversized bed. He didn't deserve to be alive. "I'm fuckin' sorry Beth."

She stared at him. "Oh, I could slap you right now Daryl Dixon," she said through her teeth. "Don't you dare go apologizin' to me for nothin'!" Her eyes started to fill with tears. "You've been takin' care of me since we left the prison. Only fair I return the favor."

"But this place, we're still not sure it's safe," Daryl tried to reason, struggling to sit up again.

"Well," Beth started, shifting back on her keeps and sitting down on the bed. "I checked the perimeter. Looks like we're not close to much else. The road we came on is three or four miles out," she said casually. "The entire place is surrounded by land mines - just like the one you set off."

Daryl stared at her then. "You checked the-"

"Perimeter, yeah," Beth said. "Had to be sure. I didn't know when you were going to wake up."

"And the back entrance?" he asked.

"I covered it up."

"You went by yourself?" he asked.

Beth cocked her head to the side. "It's not so unbelievable Daryl. Just 'cause I had a job at the prison takin' care of Judith, doesn't mean I'm not capable on my own," she said defiantly.

"Never said you're not," Daryl said, regretting his words.

"I did what was necessary." She looked at him now, with a serious expression, "Learned a lot from you."

"Sure did," Daryl said, feeling something he could only describe as pride rise in his heart. Her kill down in that bunker - had it changed something in her? He'd always seen glimmers of strength in Beth, but now she was different. Taking care of him, this place - he didn't deserve it.

"Listen," Beth said, looking at him seriously. "Your back, it's burned badly. I did the best I could trying to mend the wounds, but there's a good chance of it gettin' infected. Need to keep it clean, keep changing the bandages, but we don't have any antibiotics if an infection comes." She hesitated then, looking away from him. "I was thinkin..."

"You were thinkin' nothin'," Daryl growled at her, knowing what she was going to say.

"I just thought I could go look - Daryl, please," she begged. "There's a car in the garage, I could just take it out in the morning and be back before night."

"You're not goin," Daryl said. He lifted his good arm and reached for her. She came towards him, letting his hand fall on her shoulder and he grasped it strongly as though he were trying to keep her put on the bed with him.

"Daryl," she said, pushing him again, her eyes filled with fear.

"No!" he growled. "S'long as we change the bandages and keep it clean, it'll keep the infection away."

"We can't be sure!" Beth yelled. "You got a better chance of it gettin' infected than not. It's a large wound. And then what if an infection comes - then what? I'll have to leave you here and go out to look anyway and there's no chance you'd be alive when I came back." She was consumed by tears then, putting her head in her hands and wailing in front of him. He was so fucking helpless just watching her cry, not even able to comfort her all because he'd made a stupid mistake.

"Beth..." he started.

"No!" she said angrily through her tears. "You don't get to decide this Daryl!" she was raising her voice now. "I can't lose you!" She pushed her body forward then, wrapping her arms around his neck and kissing him. Pain soared across his skin and down his back but he didn't care. He took his one good arm to reach up and touch her back. He noticed she hadn't bothered to put a bra on beneath her shirt and though he was burning in pain, he still felt a tingle of fire in his system.

She kissed him selfishly, forcing her tongue into his mouth and he accepted her, happy to feel her again - to feel alive. Her hands were tangled in his hair, running through the long strands. Their lips met angrily, she was almost biting him, so eager to be this close again. His strength was weaning but he kept going, kept holding her, even finding the courage to slide his hand up her shirt. She smiled, though he felt hot tears on her cheek and he grasped her clumsily, just wanting to feel her body close to his.

"Oh Daryl," she breathed, moving away from him. "I'm sorry - I shouldn't be pushing you." She sat back on the bed then, wiping her eyes with her palms. "I was so scared. I thought," she inhaled deeply, trying to steady her breath. "I thought you were dead."

"Well I'm not," Daryl said. "And I don't want you goin' out riskin' your life to save my sorry ass."

"Daryl, I can't survive without you," Beth said. "But...you need me too."

He thought about this for a minute, realizing she was right. As much as he hated the idea of Beth taking care of him, he knew he'd be no good to her if he was dead. The idea of her going out on a run alone though, without him, to fix his mistake was terrifying.

"Okay," he responded after a while.

"Okay," Beth said nodding. "It's gonna be okay." And he knew she meant it.


	16. Chapter 16 - Seven Days

**All I Ever Will Be**

Chapter Sixteen - Seven Days

* * *

It had been seven days. Seven days, but Daryl was still alive. He shouldn't be alive, but he was and Beth wasn't going to spend her time wondering why. She'd done enough wondering the past few months - wondering why she kept caring, wondering why the world was the way it was, wondering why she started having feelings for Daryl and she was done. Done thinking. Done wondering. It made her weak and hesitant and she needed to be anything but those things right now.

On the first day, once she was sure Daryl wasn't dead, Beth had raided the bathrooms for supplies to help patch him up. Just as the kitchen had been stocked with food, the bathrooms were stocked full with gauze and bandages, even cream to help his burns heal faster, but she could tell it had been rifled through before. Surprised to find no medication of any kind, Beth remembered the bunker and the empty pill bottles that had been scattered about.

In her moment of brilliance she'd checked on Daryl once more, ran through the house, out through the garage, down the spiral staircase and into the bunker quickly and quietly, listening intently for any noises. It was silent, but smelled of death and decay, so she held her arm over her nose to shield herself from the smell. They'd been away from it for a few days now and the odor was nauseating. The house had been a breath of fresh air and stepping back into the dirty, decaying world was worse than she'd remembered.

Beth searched the messy, makeshift kitchen first, examining the empty pill bottles - but they were mostly empty. She gathered what she could and checked the rooms next, but they were even more bare. Frustrated, Beth had stepped back into the kitchen and picked up one of the glass bottles, throwing it at the concrete wall, watching it shatter into little tiny pieces across the floor. The noise echoed loudly in the empty room but it didn't make her feel any better.

Her haul from the bunker consisted of fourteen painkillers and twenty ibuprofen. Pathetic, but it would have to do for now. Beth had crushed one the painkillers up, dissolving it in water so that she could get them into Daryl's system easily. They would help him sleep and heal properly. She knew he'd have a fit once he woke up, but she needed him to get better. The thought of losing him was suffocating her.

The second day, Daryl was showing some signs of life and she was able to get him to open his eyes and drink the water with the crushed painkillers in just a few gulps - a massive success from the struggle she'd endured with him the first day. They knocked him out immediately, so she went downstairs and sat in front of the piano for what seemed like hours, just staring at the ivory keys, sliding her fingers over them, but not playing.

On the third day her stomach growled so fiercely it woke her out of her sleep. She'd been sleeping in the bed next to Daryl each night, watching him, listening to him breathe but never touching him. She'd realized she'd been so consumed that she hadn't even eaten. She settled for some raisins, eating them one by one at the end of the bed, her knees up to her chin, staring at Daryl - so still and calm under the influence of the opioids.

By the fourth day, Beth was going out of her mind. She had stopped checking on Daryl every twenty minutes, although she had to actively fight the urge to do so. She'd decided to explore the study to see if there was a book to read - something to keep her busy beyond sitting in bed and watching Daryl sleep. Instead she'd stumbled upon a cupboard which featured a broken lock. Inside she found a few guns, extra ammo and cases that held brand new bolts. She smiled to herself, thinking she would keep them as a surprise to show Daryl once he'd healed up.

Though she kept his wounds clean, by the fifth day she could see his back becoming more red and more angry. Beth knew there was a chance he could develop an infection. She checked the bathrooms again, tearing apart medicine cabinets, raiding through the closets, but finding nothing. She had exploded into tears and lay miserably in the bed next to Daryl praying that he would wake up and tell her it was all a dream.

He didn't.

By the sixth day she decided she needed to get out of the house, so she left Daryl a note that she was going to explore the property. The land was massive, as Daryl had said it would be and it took her most of the day to walk around the perimeter. She first returned to where Daryl had set off the land mine and followed the limp wire to another taut one. She carefully examined it, not really knowing exactly what she was looking for, but as the day moved onward Beth discovered the explosives seemed to surround the entire property.

On the seventh day, Beth had finally taken a real, long shower and ate enough to fill her belly. She examined the blueprint from the downstairs maze, memorizing it with determination and then headed out through the bunker to cover the hole she'd first fell into. When she reached the end she found the man they'd encountered in the tunnel's body with a hole in the back of his head from Daryl's arrow. Feeling numb, she carefully pulled the machine gun from him, draping it across her back.

She was able to use the tree branch to get enough leverage to hoist herself out. Once she'd reached the top she carefully scattered branches and long grass over the top of the hole, hiding it, as Daryl had told her he'd planned to do before he'd gotten hurt. She stepped back, proud of herself with a triumphant sigh and returned to the house on foot, skirting the land mines she'd examined the day before.

With the sun getting low, Beth fixed Daryl his last dose of pain medicine with a big sigh, along with some food if he'd be up for it. She had placed it on a tray she'd found in the kitchen, climbed the stairs with it, her heart feeling heavy as she opened the door. And there was Daryl, sitting up straight, staring at her.

* * *

After they'd had their conversation, Beth tended to Daryl's wounds. The pain medication hadn't set in yet, so it was different this time, touching him. He winced when her fingers met the bloodied bandages she'd used to wrap across his back. She peeled them off as gently as she could, one by one. Once she was done, she left his wound open to the air. "Stay like that," she said. "We'll let your skin breathe for a bit."

He nodded, not making a sound, so she wandered to the other end of the bed to face him. He lay with his wounded arm across his belly and the other spread out beside him towards her. His dark hair was getting shaggier now, falling into his face in clumps. His bright blue eyes were visible beneath, watching her as she climbed onto the bed.

He moved the covers away from himself, asking her to come beneath them, close to him. She was apprehensive, knowing he was still wounded, more so than he probably realized, but she craved being close enough to touch him after not having him for so long. Gently, she curled up to his body, laying her fingers on his bare chest. He was warm, the fever threatening its onset.

She reached up to his face, using her fingers to fix his hair which seemed completely untamable, but she sort of liked it that way. It was pure Daryl. He gave her a half-smile as he looked at her. "What?" she asked, wishing she knew what he was thinking.

He reached out his one hand, wincing slightly and touched her face gently, letting his fingers slide down her cheek and over her lips. She closed her eyes, enjoying his touch. "I don't want you to go," he said, almost too quietly for her to hear.

"I don't want to leave you," she said, lifting her eyelids to look at him. He looked sad and pained at the same time. She leaned forward to kiss him, their lips touching, fitting perfectly together. It was still confusing for Beth, kissing him. But she wanted him and he had no problem wanting her. It wasn't something she'd planned or seen coming or necessarily even wanted to happen but he was so good that she couldn't help herself.

It suddenly dawned on her that they were kissing, in a bed and if it hadn't been for Daryl's wounded body and the fact that the world had practically ended, the situation might have almost been _normal_. Two people in bed. The bed brought to light endless possibilities that made her blush. The possibility, of being with Daryl, like _that_ \- it was there and it was real and it made her want him in ways she hadn't known were possible.

She wanted to hold him and climb all over him, get lost in his body, but he was too fragile and she knew better. Heat was radiating off of him, so she broke away, noticing that his eyelids were fluttering. The medicine was kicking in. She planted another kiss on his forehead and took one last good look at him before she climbed back out of the bed.

It was a routine now, bandaging Daryl's back so she did it quickly with her nimble fingers, impressed by her own work. She tugged his shoulder to lay him flat and he responded to her touch sleepily. He turned his face towards her, on the brink of sleep. She laid her head next to him on the mattress, combing her fingers through his hair, just breathing him in as he drifted off.

"Beth," he whispered dreamily.

"Yeah?" she said, closing her eyes, fingers intertwined in his long locks.

"I think I love you," he said.

She inhaled and her eyes shot open widely as she took in his handsome face, chiseled jaw and his whispered words. She wasn't sure what to say. "Daryl?" she asked. His breathing was deep and steady and she realized immediately that he'd fallen asleep. Had he really said what she thought he'd said? That he loved her?

He was softly snoring now and she pulled the blankets up to his chest, covering him, unsure what to think. She watched him. Daryl. Like no one she had ever met before in her life. He was confusing and intense and lovely all at once. Did he really love her? Did she love him? What was love now in this cruel world they'd been surviving in for so long?

Could you really, truly, love someone knowing you could lose them at any moment? The thought angered Beth, having always been so fond of the thought of love. Was she so far removed form her humanity that she couldn't recognize what love was, or was it this confusing for everyone? She'd always thought she'd be able to recognize that feeling. But she'd been just a girl then, daydreaming of college guys and writing love songs in her journal. She was different now. She'd killed. She'd survived. Could she recognize it now?


	17. Chapter 17 - The Journey

**All I Ever Will Be**

 _Chapter Seventeen - The Journey_

 _Author's Note: Hi guys. I'm not thrilled with this chapter, but I needed to move on from it and get back to more Daryl/Beth moments. Hopefully it's not too slow and you guys still enjoy it! Hope you're all having a great weekend. I'm feeling nervous for tomorrow's season finale of TWD... As always your reviews, favs and follows are very much appreciated!_

* * *

"Show me again," Daryl said, holding out a throw pillow in front of him as he sat upright in bed. Sunlight from the open window illuminated small feathers, floating in the air around them. Beth almost felt like giggling, the scenario was so ridiculous.

"Daryl," Beth sighed, moving on her knees to stab the pillow with her knife again just to show him she could. "I'll be fine." She sunk the knife deep into the cushion, knowing this was definitely not what it felt like to actually kill a walker, and removed it with ease, placing her fists on her hips, the knife against her thigh.

Daryl narrowed his eyes at her and frowned. "You stay in the car until you absolutely have to get out," he said to her. "Go in and get out. And,"

"Don't use the gun unless I have to." Beth finished his sentence.

Daryl sighed, leaning back in the bed. It was the most helpless she'd ever seen him. They were out of painkillers now, so she knew beyond worrying about her leaving, he was also fighting pain. "You come back before the sun gets low. Don't matter if you've found nothin' or not," he said in a deep voice, looking out the window.

She nodded at his request. "I will," she said. She caught his glance, his piercing blue eyes beneath his shaggy mane. He was clenching his teeth now, trying to adjust himself to get comfortable in the bed. She needed to get him medicine today. "Don't worry."

"I'm gonna," he replied gruffly.

He had woken early in the morning, practically shaking her awake. He'd wanted her to find a map so they could figure out the best path for her to take. They'd identified the road they had traveled in on which, if Beth navigated it correctly, would lead her right into a small town called Molena. Daryl had traveled there a few times with Merle. He'd remembered there was some kind of rehab center not too far into town which she was to navigate quickly, hopefully find what they needed, and get out.

"You gonna stay in bed?" she asked him, cocking her eyebrow.

"You know I ain't," Daryl said honestly.

Beth rolled her eyes at him, knowing he was too stubborn to argue with. "Don't know what to do with you Daryl Dixon," she said.

"Just...kiss me...before you leave," he mumbled, still shy, and she slid her knife back into it's casing on her hip and crawled towards him on the bed, landing over his thighs and placing her hands on his cheeks. The scruff of his beard scratched her hands but she kissed him deeply and the familiarity of him made her heart beat faster and her skin tingle.

He broke the kiss, placing his forehead against hers and closed his eyes. "You come back to me," he said.

"I'll be back before you know it Daryl," she replied.

* * *

Beth had never been in an expensive car, let alone a Mercedes. The Greene's weren't a flashy sort of family and she'd always been proud of that, but it didn't diminish the beauty of the car she was in. It rumbled to life with the turn of the key and she felt the power beneath her body. She hadn't been behind the wheel of a car in a long while, so she reversed too quickly, zooming out of the garage she had opened manually, skidding to a stop outside. _Real smooth Greene_ , she thought to herself, getting out of the car and moving towards the garage.

She pulled the garage door closed, climbed back into the car and turned to drive down the long driveway that spilled out onto a dirt road. She had inspected it when she'd navigated the property, knowing the driveway was safe of land mines. At the end of it, she choose to turn left, putting on her blinker as she did so, feeling incredibly silly. The light clicked and she watched it flicker on the dashboard, sounding smooth and strange. The driving lessons that Daddy and Maggie had given to her stuck with her after all this time.

Suddenly, she felt like crying. The feeling frustrated her. When would this get easier? She looked in the rearview mirror back at the house where she knew Daryl was. He was it. There was no one else. He was her family now and she needed to do this for him.

* * *

Beth felt like she'd only been driving for a few minutes when she saw a sign for Molena, but according to the still working clock in the car, it had been thirty-three minutes. She'd laid the map that her and Daryl had gone over this morning in the seat next to her. The machine gun was on the passenger side floor, leaning against the seat and beside that, a large duffle bag she'd found at the house.

As she drove past the sign, the road split, a second road veering to the right. She took it, slowing down and feeling nervous, her eyes darting wildly to take in the surroundings. The area was filled with trees so it didn't offer much visibility into the town but Daryl had said it would be one of the first buildings she'd see as she came in off the main road.

Moving along slowly, she noticed the end of a driveway, almost hidden by a fallen tree. She squinted, trying to see in the distance, a building slightly visible in the background. She would need to get out to explore more. Slowly, she turned the car around in case she needed to get out quickly, turned the key and pulled it out, placing it in her pocket.

Beth took a deep breath and closed her eyes for a minute, preparing herself. She was scared. There was no denying it. There was no one here to protect her now, just her, her instincts and what Daryl had taught her. She reached to her hip, as if she was afraid she'd left her knife back at the house. It was still there, faithful. She opened her door, grabbed the machine gun and duffle bag from beside her and slung both over her shoulders.

The tree that had fallen was larger than it looked but Beth was able to navigate over it fairly quickly. She landed on solid blacktop, steady on her feet. The grass was overgrown, creeping into the cracks of the pavement - nature slowly taking over as it had in almost every other aspect of the world now.

She walked down the road stealthily, not seeing movement. It ended in a small parking lot in front of the building - a one story, brick structure with a flat roof. She reached it quickly, leaning her back against the brick wall and it wasn't until she rested that she realized how heavily she was breathing. Her anxiety had built and the world seemed to spin around her but she pushed past it to inspect the front door.

It was a heavy double door, with large metal handles on either side. There was a silver sign bolted to the wall beside it that read "Molena Health and Rehab". She tugged on the handles, but they only inched forward slightly. She could tell they were locked from the inside. From the other side of the door she heard a groan and then something shuffling. A walker. Or walkers? She couldn't tell, but it was what she had been dreading.

 _You can do this_ , she told herself, turning away from the doors. She scaled the wall, facing outwards and turned the corner, finding windows most of which, to her surprise, were still in-tact. She peeked into the first one, bringing her eyes just above the sill, trying to peer in but the dust on the inside was too thick to see through. She finally found a window with cracked glass, the break spidering across the entire surface.

Not wanting to waste more time, she broke it easily with the back of the gun, carefully turning away from it as it shattered from the frame. Immediately, she heard movement and when she looked inside, a walker turned the corner and reached out towards her, stumbling over its own feet. She hadn't seen a walker up close since they were at the country club. Beth often wondered if she'd get used to it - seeing the dead. It had been a while now, and it still unsettled her just as much as the first time she'd seen one.

This corpse had been old before he'd died. It was pure bones, almost a skeleton now, the skin like an old cloth, hanging from its body. The walker's face was distorted, its teeth clamping down onto each other hungrily, its eyes focused on Beth as she stood there watching. She let it come towards the window and stumble out, the torso getting stuck in the glass she'd broken.

The head turned towards her, chomping wildly and she took her knife and sunk it into its brain. Movement stopped immediately and she easily pulled the body through the window, letting it fall with a soft thud on the ground. She looked back into the window, but it was empty, so carefully she cleared the rest of the glass and guts away from the bottom and leveraged herself in through the window.

She hit the ground with her boots, dust rising from the floor around her. The room was dark and she headed forward slowly, coming up to a hallway. She looked left and then right. At the left she saw the walker she'd heard when she first tried to open the door. A female walker sitting in a wheelchair, its head lolling to the side, shuffling its feet on the floor, moving the wheels of the apparatus. The walker's hair was long and white, shielding its decaying face.

Beth started forward determinedly and suddenly from the corner of her eye she saw movement beelining towards her. A walker, large and tall quickly lunged towards her, crashing into her roughly and she put her arms out hurriedly to push it away from her. It backed her into the wall of the hallway, so that she was square against the wood and she let out a whimper of fear, trying to hold him back with one arm while lifting her arm with the knife to his head. The walker groaned at her, opening his mouth so wide she could see the blackness inside of it. It was close enough that she could smell death and rotting flesh. The scent filled her nostrils and she held back a gag as she was finally able to get her leg up to kick the body away.

The walker fell backwards, trying to regain balance to come forward for her flesh and she quickly took her knife to its brain. She watched as the corpse sunk backwards from her knife, crumbling on the floor. She was gasping for breath now, fear and adrenaline coursing through her veins at the unexpectedness of the attack. Pausing for a minute, she built back her confidence and went over towards the wheelchair walker who she killed easily.

She turned towards the rooms then, opening each of them quietly until she finally found the nurses' working station. It was dusty, but relatively in tact. Behind the untouched desks and chairs was a single door that read, "Employees Only". She raced towards it, her heart pounding, hopeful she'd found what she'd came for.

The door opened easily, revealing a room with shelving that held different colored bins, filled with medication. Jackpot.

Beth opened the duffle bag she was holding dumping bin after bin into her bag, taking everything. They never knew what they might need and it was better to just take the lot then risk needing to run out again.

Once her bag was filled and the shelves had been emptied, she slung the bag over her shoulder - it felt heavier than she thought it would. She found the window she'd broken and climbed out carefully, her boots crunching over the broken glass on the grass where she'd landed.

The air was the same and the surroundings how she'd left them but realized that the quiet was gone. Her ears perked up and she heard faint voices talking in the distance. She looked to her left, then her right, seeing no one.

Terror overtook her. The living were more dangerous than the dead - the Governor had shown them that. She gripped her gun and the bag over her shoulder tightly and ran as fast as she could back towards the fallen tree. Gracefully, she made her way over it, threw everything into the open door of the car, started it and hit the gas with a heavy foot, not looking back.


	18. Chapter 18 - Return

**All I Ever Will Be**

Chapter Eighteen - Return

* * *

Beth's palms were so sweaty that they were slipping off of the steering wheel as she swerved down the road, trying to regain control of her breathing. She was practically gasping and sort of laughing out loud to herself in disbelief that the run had gone so smoothly, despite her close encounter.

The voices had scared her shitless, but for a brief moment she considered turning around and going back to see if they'd belonged to anyone they'd known - Maggie, Glenn, Rick - but right now Daryl was her priority and she'd promised to make it back to him. The possibility of the distant voices being more bad news wasn't something Beth thought she could handle alone. Once Daryl was healed up, maybe they could go look again. She hadn't lost hope that her family was out there, but she wouldn't risk Daryl's life for it.

It caught her off guard a little bit, her determination to get back to Daryl. The will she felt in needing to care for him and make him well again, it was the only thing she could focus on. As she drove on, she started to feel uncertain about the safety of the home her and Daryl had found. How long would it really be before someone found them there?

* * *

The day was excruciating. Back at the house, Daryl had a lot of time to think. Way too much time. His senses were finally cleared now that he was off of the painkillers. He felt overwhelmingly ashamed that Beth was out there alone, fighting to stay alive just to help him. He'd been distracted with happiness and he'd made a stupid, life-threatening mistake. He was so frustrated. Beth deserved better. She deserved his protection and his diligence and he'd failed her on both accounts.

Beth. He couldn't stop thinking about her now that she wasn't with him. He'd been spoiled by the presence of her around him constantly, whether she was angry, happy or sad, her companionship was powerful. He'd underestimated her strength and determination - the tenacity of her was clear now and though he would never admit it, she kind of intimidated him. He didn't know what to do with her and he found himself wanting her in a way he hadn't wanted a woman in his entire life. The only thing he was certain about was that he didn't understand his feelings for her.

The feeling that he did recognize deep in himself was anger. Having to rely on someone else was hard for Daryl. He'd always taken care of himself - he never needed anyone to keep him safe. Beth was his saving grace and he just wasn't worthy. He sat in bed for a while, feeling hot and pissed off. He tried sleeping, but with the pain, anxiety and frustration he was completely restless.

Beth had left him a few things including old magazines from downstairs in case he got bored, so flipped through "Golf Digest" with one hand and ripped the pages out, crumpling them up into small balls and throwing them at the wall. When he was done with that, he took the pen she'd left him and drew mustaches and horns on a few of the others, chuckling to himself. He tried a crossword puzzle, but just ended up writing swear words in all of the boxes.

Once he'd finished, he decided to try to get out of bed which he immediately regretted. The pain was so intense he had trouble getting to the bathroom attached to the room he'd been staying in. It was one hell of a room though, the walls made from the same white pine wood as the rest of the house and the floor a glossy white marble. There was a shower to the left and in front of him a wide sink and massive mirror. He stared at himself, feeling unrecognizable. It had been a while since he'd really gotten a good look at his reflection.

He had always had a rough look about him, but he thought he almost looked animalistic at this point. His hair was overgrown and unruly, his beard growing in all different directions, gray peeking through. He'd noticed it at the prison, but sort of ignored it. It reminded him of his age. But age didn't matter anymore - staying alive, that's what mattered now.

He took his one good arm and brushed some of his hair away from his face. His features were still the same - his eyes, still the same piercing blue he'd known as a kid and his cheekbones high on his face. The skin from his fingers felt rough so he dropped them, realizing he was sweaty although he wasn't dressed in much clothing His stomach was sunken in as he looked down at himself and he knew it was from not eating properly for the last week. He turned then, wanting to see the damage to his back, but the mirror revealed carefully placed bandages and unwarranted butterflies erupted in his belly at the thought of Beth touching him.

And then, the sound of a motor came from the distance outside the house and Daryl spun around quickly to go towards the window, sucking in air as he did so. The pain associated with his movements were still taking some getting used to. Momentary panic set in as he saw the silver Mercedes slowly make its way up the driveway, the sun reflecting off the hood. As it came closer, he squinted to see only one, small shadow in the drivers seat. She was alone, and back so quickly. It must have meant good news.

Daryl knew Beth would want him in bed, but he just couldn't hide his eagerness at seeing her back so soon. He slowly made his way out of the bedroom and down the long stairs at the front of the house, fighting the pain that was shooting across his back and the fever that had settled in his body. He heard her pull the garage door open as he came down the stairs, wincing with every step.

* * *

Beth parked the car carefully, still relishing in the beauty of the interior. There were so few perfect things left, you had to appreciate the ones that were still around. She turned the car off, then stepped out to close the garage door behind the vehicle. Once it was secure, she went to get the gun and duffle bag from the car, feeling sort of normal - like she'd gone to pharmacy to get Daryl some Advil for his fever. It made her smile, despite the circumstances.

She walked inside, leaving the gun in the front room, laid up against the washing machine which had collected a layer of dust and came into the kitchen only to see Daryl standing in the middle of the room, looking at her sheepishly.

Quickly, she dropped the bag beside herself, smiling at him. Tears came despite her best intentions. She was so relieved to see him, though it had truly only been a few hours. Her anxiety and adrenaline was wearing off now and she ran to him quickly, stopping in front of him very carefully placing her arms on his shoulders, sliding them up his neck and to the sides of his face. She stood on her tiptoes and kissed him and he grabbed her intently with his one arm as their lips crashed together. The feeling of wanting him was intensifying every time she kissed him.

"Hi," he whispered into the kiss and she smiled against his mouth. She opened her eyes, bringing her head back to look at him. "You're back," he said in a low voice. His eyes sparkled mischievously as he gave her a coy smile.

Beth grinned. She couldn't help herself. "You're up," she said, trying to scold him.

"I am," he said, his head still to the side, close enough that she could feel his breath on her lips with each word he spoke.

"How are you feeling?" she asked, falling back on her heels and narrowing her eyes at him.

He sighed. "Like shit," he admitted.

Beth nodded at him. "Upstairs," she commanded him.

His eyes opened wide and looked at her - as if he was asking if she was serious, so she took her index and pointed upwards firmly. "Go," she said. "I didn't go on that run for nothin'."

"Yes ma'am," he mumbled, turning on his heel and moving to walk upstairs. Beth put her chin to her shoulder and smiled to herself, then grabbed the bag filled with medicine and followed him upstairs.

* * *

Beth tended to Daryl's wounds again and fed him his first round of antibiotics which he gulped down eagerly. Then she opened some cans of soup, sticking in spoons from the kitchen, thinking she could heat them up but feeling so ravenous she decided not to. Daryl didn't mind, so they sat on the bed and inhaled the contents of the metal cans quickly, not speaking as they did so.

Daryl let out a sigh, the metal spoon clinking in the can, signaling he was finished. Beth sat cross-legged on the bed beside him, scooping out the remnants of her can. "Good?" she asked.

"Mmhm," Daryl responded, closing his eyes and leaning back into his pillows. "Thanks," he murmured, opening one eye to look at her. "For everything."

She shook her head. "Don't you thank me," she said. "Can't survive without you Daryl. I told you - I need you and anyway, I couldn't have done it without all the stuff you've been teachin' me."

Daryl inhaled deeply, looking away. If he could, it looked like he'd have crossed his arms, but instead he placed his one good arm across his belly. "Yeah well, I don't deserve it," he said quietly.

Beth narrowed her eyes. "What's that supposed to mean?" she asked.

Daryl looked back at her. "Put you in danger is all!" he said angrily. "Don't ever wanna do that again." He stopped, then said, "Won't _ever_ do that again."

Beth pursed her lips and took another bite of her cold soup, her heart feeling heavy. "Daryl," she said slowly. "It's okay to let people help you sometimes. Everyone needs someone."

Daryl shrugged, looking away, grunting incomprehensibly.

"Daryl?" Beth said, putting her empty can to the side. She placed her hand on his shoulder, trying to get him to look at her.

"Hmm?" he responded, looking everywhere but at her.

Beth reached out and pulled his chin towards her so he had no choice but to look at her. "Daryl, stop. It's no big deal."

"It is!" he said fiercely, almost pushing away from her. "You got no business runnin' around tryin' to save me and care for me."

"Why not?" Beth shrieked, surprised by her own anger. She didn't understand why he felt like he didn't deserve help. Why he didn't deserve good things. Why it was so hard for him to let her in. His reactions and perception of things made her frustrated with him, but also incredibly sad.

"'Cause," he said. "You deserve a good life - someone who takes care of you and knows how to be there for you. Who knows how to," he sighed deeply, thinking for a minute, "knows how to talk to you and tell you how they feel and shit."

Did he think she didn't want him? Was he worried he wasn't good enough for her? "Daryl," she said slowly, picking her words carefully. "You're one of the best things that's ever happened to me."

She let his eyes meet hers then, and she held his gaze unsure of how to make him really understand. She wanted him to _get it_ so badly. It was love, or at least some form of it, but she wasn't ready to say that out loud for anyone to hear quite yet. Beth cared for everyone, truly and deeply, but this type of caring, these types of feelings - it was so intense and so very raw with Daryl.

"You don't mean that," Daryl scoffed, shaking his head.

"Yeah, I do." She went on. "You're not just good for huntin' and killin' Daryl. You're a good man. I told you that the other night. What are you so afraid of?" she asked.

He shrugged. "I dunno," he said and the silence following his words was deafening for a few seconds. "That all I'll ever be is who I was, I guess," he said. "The world's changed me - it's changed you - everyone, so now we're all just built to survive and that's it. That's all I know. Before all this I wasn't ever close to no-one - 'cept maybe Merle, but not like, in a romance sort of way." His face was flushed as he said it. "Just feel like I'm even further away from knowin' what the hell to do than I was before. I don't know how to do things like this right - with you. With us."

"There's no right way Daryl," Beth said, reaching for his hands. "You don't gotta do anythin' special for me, just be with me. I like being with you and talkin' to you and kissin' you," she said it straight to him, so he would really hear her. "Maybe it'll turn into somethin' else, maybe it won't - but…I like it. And I think you do too." She waited for him to react, and he looked up at her through his long hair, curiously so she kept going. "So don't you ever worry 'bout not knowin' what to do or bein' enough for me. You're more than enough for me. Always have been and I think you always will be."

She brought his large hand up to her mouth, kissing his knuckles, while she stared at him with wide eyes. He watched her delicate movements and she thought for a moment she saw a real sense of hope in his eyes.


	19. Chapter 19 - Healing

All I Ever Will Be

 **Chapter Nineteen** \- Healing

* * *

Within the next week, Beth and Daryl had fallen into a routine. Three meals a day, all eaten in the kitchen, regular running water, some electricity to enjoy when they needed it - it was bliss. Daryl thought to himself that he'd never had anything this nice, even before the world had gone to shit.

He had been distracted at the prison - going on runs, killing walkers on the gate, being on the council, hell - even growing crops with Rick, so he'd never noticed the tension between him and Beth, but holy fuck was it clear now. He noticed everything about Beth, down to the way she absentmindedly hummed to herself when lost in thought or how she always put her hands on her hips when she was getting frustrated with him or the way she smelled when she kissed him, sometimes out of nowhere at all.

He had come to realize that Beth was a physical person and that she liked to touch him and be near him whenever she could. It took him some getting used to - he had always been a loner and not at all affectionate, but he felt good with her, so he let himself try to be comfortable with the closeness. She sparked something inside him and despite the circumstances, he found himself smiling and laughing more that he ever had in his life. Beth was able to find the joy and light in everything.

He was still hurting, so the moments between them were brief and strained. Every time she touched and kissed him, he yearned to be close to her, skin to skin to really feel her but she always pulled away, afraid she would make his injuries worse. He craved her body, what he'd already seen and everything he was imagining. He just wanted to touch her and make her feel good and selfishly, be as close as he could be to her. It wasn't something he just wanted anymore, it was something he needed.

Though, if he was behind honest with himself, the thought of being that intimate or even making love to Beth…it sort of scared him. It had been a long time since he'd been with a woman and he'd never been with one he cared about like this, or one he had even really gotten to know - he'd always run off before he gotten too close. It was what Merle had taught him. But this - with Beth, it was different. And she'd made it clear that she wanted him too. He'd never experienced that with anyone.

He might have been imagining it, but it seemed like Beth was just as on edge as he was. He knew it was for good reason - they were both focused on getting him back to a having a clean bill of health. The burns had been deep, but the antibiotics had driven away infection and Beth's bandaging and constant tending were helping the wounds heal.

Beth had started keeping track of how long they'd been at the house, marking off the days on a makeshift calendar she'd made. If Daryl could guess, he'd say it was September, maybe October, so she drew some pumpkins around her count and stuck it to the fridge. It was a little _too_ normal for Daryl, but if it made her happy, he wasn't going to say anything bad about it.

Then just yesterday they'd had a scare when a fox ran into one of the landmines, setting it off. It brought Daryl right back to reality as he and Beth ran out to investigate. The noise attracted two seemingly stray walkers which Beth and Daryl tackled easily. He was surprised at how much better and stronger he was already feeling as he headed into his third week of recovery.

He was aware they hadn't handled a cleanup down in the bunker, and wasn't sure Beth was ready to face it yet. Truth was, he wasn't sure he was actually ready to face it either and there was really no need to push it. He needed time to heal, but he also was enjoying this place - it was an escape from the horrors they'd encountered. The Governor. The prison. Losing everyone. The comfort it provided was intoxicating. It gave him the ability to really get to know who Beth was and start to understand just how badly he really wanted her.

* * *

They woke up together, the sun peeking in from the window beside the bed, spraying a ray of sunshine over their faces. They'd been sleeping in the same bed since they'd discovered the house and even three weeks in, it was still a new thing for Beth - sharing a bed with a man. It wasn't as scary as she'd thought it would be - quite the opposite, in fact but Beth was still careful of touching Daryl too much because of his injury.

She woke slowly, opening one eye to take him in. He was awake, lying at a slight incline, turned towards her, his arm still in a sling at his side. He had his other arm outstretched towards her and he brought his fingertips up to her forehead, moving some hair away from her face. She curled up underneath the covers, inching closer towards his him, close enough to feel his body heat.

"Mornin'," he said in a tired voice. His lips were curled up at the edges.

"Hi," she breathed.

"I'm feelin' better today," Daryl offered, shifting to be on his back.

"Oh yeah?" Beth said, turning so she was leaning on her elbow, looking at him with a wide smile.

Daryl nodded. "Thinkin' we go outside today - try to get some stuff planted - get a 'lil sun on our skin." He looked towards the window. "If we plant some of those vegetables now we can pick 'em for early winter harvest." Beth had found some seeds in the garage during the week that Daryl was out and they'd been waiting until Daryl was up for it to plant them together .

"Alright," Beth said, sitting up and hugging her knees. She looked back at Daryl who was actually grinning now. "We could do the broccoli, carrots, peas - spinach…" For a minute she thought of Daryl eating creamed spinach with his vest on at the dinner table and she giggled, despite herself.

"What's so funny?" Daryl asked.

Beth sighed and fell back onto the bed so she she was almost underneath him, staring up at him with wide eyes. "Nothing," she said, grinning. He leaned forward then bringing his face close enough so that their noses were touching. She needed to be close to him, to feel him - there wasn't anything else she wanted more. It had been almost three weeks since his accident according to her count - three weeks too long - three weeks since their moment in front of the fire downstairs. She wanted him to get better, but also _wanted_ him so she tilted her head to the side then and kissed him. Immediately he relaxed, so she kissed him deeper, losing control of her restraint, sliding her tongue into his mouth.

He accepted her gladly, exploring her mouth with his own tongue. Then he gently took her bottom lip between his teeth, tugging on her sensitive skin, breaking away momentarily. He dove back into her mouth again and she had trouble catching her breath this time as their lips met and they inhaled each other. She grasped at him, her hands on his shoulders, wanting to pull him closer. Her hands found the bandages she knew were there but wanted to ignore so badly and he pushed into her as if to say _stop it, please, keep going_ but she broke away from him and sat up straight beside him.

Daryl sat up with her, following her face with his own, breathing heavily from their kiss. He groaned, "Come back to me," he said.

Beth shook her head at him. "You gotta heal." She frowned, cupping his face with her palm.

He narrowed his eyes at her and grunted, looking pained, but not arguing with her on the point.

She sighed, feeling frustrated, excitement still ignited in her belly but instead of kissing him again, she threw a pillow at him and it bounced off his head. "Let's get outside."

* * *

The day was warm, the sun high in the sky, beating down on the grass around the property. The trees surrounding them on all sides were a sea of brown, yellow, orange and green - a gorgeous landscape to take in. It was almost like they were in another world.

Beth had grabbed the machine gun, some tools and the seeds from the garage and they started their work, digging into the soft soil. With one arm, Daryl looked comical trying to help Beth plant, but she let him help even though he was probably doing more harm than good.

"This shit is so fuckin' annoying," he said to her, throwing the rake he was holding away and letting it bounce across the grass. He tugged on his makeshift sling. "My arm feels alright, can't I just take it off?"

"You can't," Beth said, concentrating on burying a seed, patting soil over it. "You don't let that arm heal, it's gonna be funny for the rest of your life."

He groaned, turning around on his feet with his face towards the sun, then sat on the solid ground they hadn't dug into yet. "I'm useless," he said, bringing his knees up.

Beth looked up at him, squinting in the sun and grinned. "You're not!" she said laughing and leaning back so that her bottom touched the backs of her heels. "It's just hard with one arm." She wiped her hands on her jeans, leaving dirt marks down the denim. "Okay - you are," she admitted, "But you're good company."

"Hmph," he grunted at her, playfully throwing a bit of dirt at her.

"Hey!" she laughed, picking up her own pile to chuck at him. He dodged it, still smiling and they locked eyes for a minute. She watched him as his eyes averted, leaving hers, and staring beyond her into the distance. His expression changed immediately from playful to panicked and she knew instantly that something wasn't right.

"Daryl?" she started to say.

Suddenly, he stood up. "Beth," he said, out of the corner of his mouth. "Get behind me."

Her eyes were wide as she stared at him, knowing there was something - someone behind her, so she got to her feet slowly, moving as quickly as she could. The machine gun was laid forgotten in the dirt where they were working, so she went towards it, picking it up. Her heart had picked up its pace and she could feel every beat in her chest cavity as she struggled to stay calm.

"Beth," Daryl whispered, turning his head towards her.

"Don't!" came a yell in the distance.

Beth looked up just as she was adjusting the weapon in her arms. That voice. She knew it. And then - she heard the familiar cry of a baby. The same cry she'd dreamt about since the prison fell. Since she'd left Judith behind.

She looked up towards the forest and thought she might be dreaming - there were two larger bodies, a smaller one, and the unmistakable shape of a baby.


	20. Chapter 20 - Reunion

All I Ever Will Be

 **Chapter 20 -** Reunion

 _Author's Note: This chapter is a little bit longer than my previous ones, but I really wanted to get the end scene in here because it's important moving forward with Beth and Daryl's relationship. Upcoming will be how Beth and Daryl adjust to having some of Team Family in the house with them and how they deal with the possible scenario of others stumbling across the house, among other *things*. As always thanks for reading, favoriting, following and reviewing! It's kept me motivated to keep writing, so a big thank you to all of you! :)_

* * *

Beth ran first, dropping the machine gun on the ground to pick up her legs and run towards the bodies. They were practically shadows but she would recognize them anywhere. Rick held Judith to his chest, making wide strides across the property. His hair and beard had grown since Beth had last seen him and Judith - that sweet baby girl was whimpering in his arms, her arms flailing as they ran together.

Behind Rick came Michonne, strong and thin and then Carl on her heels, both of their smiles getting wider by the minute as they came into view. When Beth and Rick met in the grass, she practically peeled Judith from his arms. She was longer than before, but not much heavier, worrying Beth instantly. But the joy she felt from holding Judith in her arms again was staggering. Judith's hair was wispy, falling over her ears and into her eyes now. She half cooed and cried at Beth who kissed her cheeks. They were raw red from the elements and sprinkled with salty tears so Beth wiped them away, squeezing her tiny body to her chest.

Rick's arms were around her then, squeezing her like he couldn't believe she was real - the disbelief overwhelming both of them. He smelled of dirt and sweat and blood, and she wondered how long they'd been running around on foot without shelter for Judith. He was shaking, though she couldn't tell if it was involuntary or not, quivering with excitement or weakness - maybe both.

Daryl reached the group and Rick left Beth to greet him. She watched them embrace like old friends would, Rick's hands on Daryl's shoulders, half laughing, half crying, looking disbelievingly at each other.

"How'd you…" Daryl trailed off, his gruff voice wavering slightly. "Where'd you come from?"

"We heard an explosion," Rick explained, pointing towards the trees. "Followed it last night and into this morning. Saw some kinda animal blown apart - land mines, is it?" Daryl nodded in response. "Wasn't sure the kind of people who might be in this place so we just watched it for a while - then we saw you and Beth come outside…" He took a sharp intake of breath. "Couldn't believe it."

Michonne swept Beth up in a hug then, wrapping her muscular arms around her and squeezing tightly. Beth responded, embracing her with one arm, baby Judith still squirming in her other arm. Michonne smelled wild, like she'd been outside for several days, like nature had crept into her very skin, overtaking her. Beth could tell they'd been traveling through the forest for quite some time.

Carl came next, squeezing Beth tightly around her waist and she welcomed him, watching as Michonne embraced Daryl, happiness swelling in her chest at the insanity of it all. She'd known that someone would have to stumble across them sooner rather than later, but she hadn't dreamt it would be anyone they had lost. She realized she was grinning uncontrollably, though worry was heavy in her chest for how long they'd been without food or shelter. Breaking her out of her internal thoughts, Judith reached her tiny hand out, as if to tell Beth to look at her and hug her, so she did just that, raising her above her head and bringing her back down into her arms to hold to her chest.

"C'mere 'lil asskicker," Daryl said from behind Beth and she turned around to Daryl, holding his one good arm out. Judith's arms reached for him and he scooped her out of Beth's arms effortlessly, holding her on his side, like he had done so many times before. He grinned at Judith and she reached out to tug at his long hair that fell in front of his face.

Beth could feel a million emotions explode inside her, watching Daryl with Judith. She'd thought it was sweet before that he'd taken on such an fatherly role when Rick was in mourning, but now, it was different. Their relationship had changed and something lit up inside of her seeing Daryl with Judith again. So calm and sweet and gentle and patient, the Daryl she'd been trying to pull out of his wounded skin since they'd met. Judith let out a cry then - not one that was tired or bored, but one that was hungry. Beth knew it well.

"Let's get ya'll inside," Beth said. "Clean you up," she said, reaching out for Judith. Daryl gave her up and the baby slipped back into Beth's arms. She kissed her head. "Get you some food - some sleep."

She started to walk then, guiding the group out of the sun and back to their safe house. Rick was on edge, talking to Daryl in a low voice, "Are you sure this place is safe? What happened to your arm? Are you alone?"

Daryl talked as they walked across the lawn around to the front of the house to enter through the front door. "We're alone," she heard Daryl say behind her. "Beth and I left the prison together - haven't come across anyone we know yet." He paused then and sighed. "We fell into this place - there's an underground bunker - the place is massive. Stocked full of shit. I'll explain more once you're good and fed and have some rest in ya," he said. "How long you been on the run? Ya'll look rough."

"Not sure," Beth heard Rick say softly. "Been movin' place to place…tryin' to keep everyone good and fed but it's been so hard…with Judith." He said Judith's name laced with a twang of guilt.

"Then, a while back we saw someone sprinting across an open area. Looked a lot like Beth." Her run. The voices. She'd been so spooked and hadn't gone back and guilt consumed her as she looked down at the baby in her arms. Judith's head was laid against her chest and she was sucking her small thumb.

"Beth had to go on a run," Daryl said simply.

"Alone?" Beth heard Rick ask Daryl, surprised.

Daryl must have nodded behind her and said, "I was hurt. Land mine. Needed antibiotics," was all he said. Rick seemed to accept this answer with silence.

Beth watched Michonne and Carl walk just ahead of her, both looking weak, tired and broken down. She noticed Michonne had a slight limp and decided she would ask her about it once everyone was sitting down with food in their bellies.

Beth ran ahead of them with Judith still in her arms, opening the door with her shoulder to let them get inside. As each one of them passed Beth, she saw how run down they truly looked, but there was a clear sense of relief on everyone's faces.

Carl's jaw dropped as they entered the house and he wandered off slightly heading back past the heavy staircase that spilled into the front foyer.

"Damn," Michonne said, like she hadn't meant to say it out loud. Rick came up behind her and placed his hands on her shoulders, squeezing them slightly. Beth saw Michonne's grin widen as she brought up a hand to clasp to his. It was intimate and normal and familiar and Beth looked at Daryl who stood with his back up against the front door to see if he'd noticed the happy moment. Rick and Michonne, she'd always seen it at the prison - it felt right.

She caught Daryl's gaze and he stared into her, expressionless. Her smile faded slightly, so she shifted Judith on her hip and led them towards the kitchen.

* * *

They sat around the kitchen table, everyone eating their fill. Beth was feeding Judith a jar of applesauce she'd found in the back of the pantry with a proper spoon. Michonne, Rick and Carl were scarfing down cans of cold soup and beans and nobody was speaking. Daryl sat at the far end of the table, taking everything in.

Seeing these people that he considered his family again was inexplicable. He was so sure they'd never see anyone again and having them stumble across the very house they'd been living in was a friggin' miracle. Finding Rick, his brother, made Daryl feel safe and secure again but also made him realize he'd been letting his guard down since they'd found this place.

The fairytale and deception of it all had slapped him in the face. He was lucky to be alive and he was lucky Beth hadn't gotten torn apart on her run. Seeing Rick, Michonne, Carl and Judith had reminded him of the world around the house, the world they were really living in, not this made up homey bullshit that he and Beth had fallen into. They'd been blinded by the safety, naive to the dangers that could lurk right outside their doors, dumb enough to believe they could be content, even for a minute.

He was angry at himself, thinking of the funeral home. That momentary sense of calm, the feeling of security - it was all really a sham. Things went south in an instant and the same thing could happen here. He felt a cloud hang over his head, but his head hadn't been this clear since the prison. He needed to stop getting distracted and focus on keeping these people - his family, safe.

Then, Judith let out a burp that echoed throughout the silent room, and Carl laughed, then Beth laughed, her grin spreading to her ears. Michonne smiled, messing with Judith's hair and Rick let out a low chuckle. But Daryl was done pretending that everything was okay.

"Gonna check the perimeter again," he grumbled, standing up from the table abruptly. Rick, Michonne and Carl were too consumed with Judith and their food to notice his sudden change of demeanor, but Beth looked up at him, her face curious and slightly hurt and he felt anger rise in his chest. Why was she looking at him that way? She'd made him feel safe and distracted - wanting to kiss him all the time and build some kind of home. Who was she kidding? He nodded at her, not speaking and turned away then, heading for the door.

He knew she'd be upset at him, wondering why he'd run off but he needed to put some distance between them. He couldn't keep pretending, not with Judith and Carl here. It was bad enough he'd done it this long with Beth. His thoughts were racing and he was angry at himself - angry at Beth - angry that things weren't different. He needed to be alone.

The daylight was wavering, the sun low behind the trees. The sky was slowly turning a deep pink and Daryl watched it as he walked towards the tree line. The sky was one of the things that hadn't been contaminated by the Turn. Still just as beautiful as he remembered it. He used to climb up onto the roof of his house when he was younger, just to get away from everyone and be alone. He'd lay on his back, smoking a cigarette or some pot and watch the sky change color overhead. It was calming for him - one of the only things he'd ever remembered that relaxed him.

He reached the tree line quickly and walked along it, not really sure what he was looking for. After walking for a few minutes, he headed in between the trees, flashes of memories coming back from the explosion. His back was feeling better, but certain movements were still painful. He found the wire to the land mines and made a point to stay away from it, but still stayed in the forest. He weaved in and out of the trees, his bad arm getting stuck on some branches.

Looking down at himself, he felt frustration rise in his chest and he ripped off the sling that had held his arm in place, not caring what Beth had said about his arm getting funny. What good was he to anyone with his arm in a fucking sling? He threw it beside him, and it landed in a pile of dirty leaves. He glared at it as though he could pour his frustration into it.

The world beyond this house was still dangerous, it was still fucked up. Finding a bunker and supplies wasn't going to change any of that. Being with Beth, that wasn't going to change anything either. If he let himself get close to her and distracted by their relationship, it could compromise the skills he could actually bring to keeping everyone safe.

Rick and Michonne - what would they think about Daryl and Beth being together anyway? They'd think it was silly or inappropriate even, and Beth - she deserved better. He'd known that all along. This fairytale they'd been playing, it was all hopeless. What would come of it? Some kind of romance story? Kids? Marriage? He scoffed at the thought. Even in the apocalypse, that kind of shit didn't happen to Daryl Dixon.

It had been about a half an hour when Beth came to look for him. He hadn't seen her come out of the house, but he heard her behind him suddenly. She was trying to be quiet - stealth, but she was fucking terrible at it. He kept walking.

"Daryl," her voice rang out loudly against the quiet of the forest, but he didn't turn. Instead, he picked up his pace. He just wanted to be alone - couldn't she understand that? "Daryl, wait," she tried again.

She came up behind him quickly, but he turned away from her, though her fingers were on his arm. "Daryl, what the hell?" she said, frustrated.

He turned around then, stepping away from her. She stopped in her tracks, looking at him. Her hair was down, hanging over her shoulders - her eyes, wide and blue and searching his face, looking for an answer to his behavior. Her hands were on her hips again, fingertips dancing over the denim that covered her legs. She was beautiful and he hated her for it.

"What's up?" she asked.

He shrugged slightly, not answering. "Want to check the perimeter is all," he said. "Haven't checked it since yesterday - wanna make sure there's nothin' we need to worry about."

"Let me help you," she offered, coming up towards him. "Rick, Michonne, Carl and Judith are gettin' some rest."

"No," Daryl responded. "I'll do it myself." He turned away from her.

"Where's your sling?" she asked.

"I don't need it."

"Yeah," her hand reached his shoulder, tugging at it to turn him around. "You do."

"I don't Beth," he said. "Quit your naggin'."

She took a step back then and he kept walking away from her, wanting to put the space between them.

"Daryl, what's going on?" she asked, jogging behind him. "You're actin' weird. Ain't you happy they're here?" she said. "Ain't you glad to see them?"

"I am," he said. "But I wanna make sure we're all safe before we go off celebratin' like nothings wrong."

"What's wrong?" she asked innocently.

"The fuck you think is wrong?" he yelled, turning sharply to yell at her. He knew his frustration was uncalled for, but he didn't care. He couldn't hold back his anger - he'd never been able to. The confusion of it all, how he felt about Beth, wanting to keep everyone safe, not being able to fight for himself, it was all bubbling to the surface now. "The world as we know it is gone and we're sittin' here playin' house together?"

Beth stared at him, her mouth wide open, looking like she might cry.

"You killed someone a month ago - have you even dealt with that yet? Lost your Daddy and your sister! It's like we've forgotten where we came from and what we've been through. I've lost my damn mind," Daryl growled. "Pretendin' everything is okay. Bein' with you, like we're gonna be boyfriend and girlfriend or some shit. Not keepin' guard, eating meals at the fuckin' dinner table like we're the fuckin' Cleavers!"

"Daryl!" Beth yelled his name with distain in her voice. "Stop it."

"No," he said. "We got Judith to protect now. I can't keep pretendin' we're all safe here 'cause we're not. I put you in so much danger just by not payin' attention. Let you go out on a run all on your own," he winced as he said it, like it pained him.

"Daryl, I'm not stupid _or_ weak. I did just fine on that run. You needed help, so get over your ego and accept it!" she yelled. "I know we're never truly safe, but there's no harm in tryin' to let a little light in."

Light. Beth was always so positive and hopeful and here he was, standing in the forest, yelling at her. What a dick he was. "What the hell are you doing with me Beth? It isn't like you want to be with me - is this some way of getting' over all the shit we've been through, or was it just cause I was the first person you could latch on to?"

"Oh fuck off Daryl," she said through her teeth. "You know that's not the truth."

"You and me," he said, pointing his finger at himself, then back at Beth, "It won't never work."

"You don't mean that!" Beth shouted at him.

"Yeah I do!" he shouted back. "What the fuck you think Rick and Michonne are gonna think?"

"What the hell is with you and not wanting anything good in your life?" Beth spat at him. "Just because we've found something good in each other doesn't mean we're bein' stupid." She took a careful step forward towards him. "We can protect each other and still have somethin' good. I see the way you look at me. I know how you feel about me. You're being insecure and stupid!"

The words stung him. The way she said them, like she knew what was going on inside of him, it made his anger waver momentarily, but not for long. "How's that?" he growled.

"Storming out 'cause you're worried what Rick and Michonne are gonna think?" she sneered. "You're acting like a child. How about you admit to yourself what you really want?"

"How's this going to end Beth?" he asked her seriously. "We gonna go get married or somethin'? Is that what you think?"

"I don't know what I think!" Beth yelled, taking another step towards him. "What does it matter? Why can't you just be? Why do you gotta have an answer for everything? Some things don't work that way."

"You need answers in this world, Beth," he growled. "You don't have a plan or know what you're doing, you put yourself and other people in danger. I can't be distracted and worryin' about what's goin' on with us and worryin' what everyone will think and tryin' to keep us all safe at once." The words came out all jumbled and he felt like he was rambling, but he couldn't help it. The truth was coming out - all his worries, his thoughts, his frustrations - he was throwing them all at Beth and she was just standing there, taking it.

"Stop worrying what people are gonna think, Daryl," Beth yelled. "Stop worryin' about needing to protect everyone all on your own. Jesus," she said sharply. "We got more manpower than ever now and you're worried about all the responsibility you got on your shoulders? Don't you ever see the positive in anythin'!?"

"Yeah, I guess not," he grumbled angrily. "Never had a reason to."

"Here's your reason," Beth said, indicating that it was her. "There's your reason," she said, pointing to the house. "What we have together, it's good. It's really good. But I can't give you an answer Daryl," she said. "I don't know what's gonna happen today, tomorrow - in a year - and you're gonna have to deal with it. That's how love works. It just _exists_. There's no right or wrong."

His vision tunneled momentarily as he processed what she said. He wanted to respond, he wanted to confirm that he'd heard what she said, but he couldn't get his brain to work with his mouth. Instead, he watched her as she walked up to him until she was close enough to touch him and took both of his hands in hers.

"Whatever this is Daryl, gettin' mad and frustrated ain't the way to deal with it. I'm here. I'm not goin' anywhere. If anyone's gonna say anything, they can fuck off because it's not their business. Rick and Michonne? They're family - they'll be happy if we're happy. You gotta know that. You're overthinkin' this." She reached up to touch his arms then, her thin fingers sliding over his biceps. "Stop doubtin' that I want this - that I want you." She looked up at him beneath her eyelashes.

He found his voice again. "I'm afraid," he said, realizing what he was saying after he said it.

"Of what?"

"Of you. Of this." And then he dipped his head down to kiss her, the familiar taste of her filling him. She closed the space between them, their bodies meeting and he felt her against him. Small frame, strong arms, her hands grasping his face and he stopped holding back, bringing both of his arms to her back, sliding his hands beneath her shirt to feel her skin with his fingertips. She arched at his touch and the movement excited him, making him want all of her immediately. The pain and frustration was gone and he knew in that moment that she was his. He needed to stop questioning it.


	21. Chapter 21 - Together Again

All I Ever Will Be

 **Chapter 21 -** Together Again

* * *

Beth was in the kitchen, staring into the pantry. The shelves had been packed to the brim when Daryl and her first got to the house, but she was starting to see their supply getting somewhat smaller. She anticipated it would get emptier quicker now that there were more of them in the house. They still had plenty, but they'd need a plan for some fresh food at some point to keep everyone good and fed.

In the corner of the small closet was a variety of sealed pasta in different bags. Beneath it were cans of tomato paste. Not as good as the real stuff, but she could make due. The thought of a pasta dinner brought back memories of her father, always joking about spaghetti Tuesdays and she smiled at the thought of him creeping into her mind. She missed him so much, but she'd vowed not to be sad about his death. It wouldn't be what he wanted.

The house boasted a gas stove, no doubt another clever asset the professor had put into the house for this exact scenario. Well maybe not exact - Beth supposed that he'd suspected to still be alive. Daryl had checked to see what the fuel level looked like and it seemed decent enough for now. She could at least boil water to cook pasta and make a decent meal for their first night back together.

She carried her supplies out to the kitchen, placing everything on the counter. Then she took a pot from one of the lower cabinets to pour water into. It wasn't until she lit the flame underneath the pot on the stove and turned that she saw Michonne standing in the kitchen with her.

"Hi," Michonne said, taking one of the high chairs from beneath the kitchen island to sit on.

"Hi," Beth responded, coming towards the marble countertop to talk. "How are you feelin'?"

"Girl, I got a real shower in for the first time in months. I feel like a rockstar," Michonne said with a smile. "Missed you. How've you been?"

"Hangin' on," Beth said honestly. "Worried we wouldn't never see ya'll again."

Michonne nodded. "Us too. Been traveling for days. Judith's been real run down 'cause food's been so hard to come by. We've done okay though - made do. Carl's been a real trooper." She looked at Beth, holding her with her gaze. "Real glad to have found you here. This place is unreal."

"I know," Beth replied. "We were walkin' through the woods, trying to find shelter and I fell into a hole. Found a door that led to the bunker. It was like we were meant to find it."

"Were there people here?" Michonne asked, before Beth could continue. She sensed she already knew the answer.

Beth nodded slowly, looking down at her hands, remembering what had happened when they first came. Daryl was right - Beth hadn't dealt with it. They'd jumped head first into their new home, and she had acted like none of it had ever happened. She wanted to pretend it didn't. She wanted to sweep it under the rug and never remember it again. Thinking about it wasn't going to help her survive, it wouldn't change anything, but she knew herself well. She'd have to deal with it eventually.

Michonne looked at Beth knowingly. "And, I'm guessing they didn't just walk out the front door?"

Beth shook her head. "There were two men - Daryl knew them from before the Turn through Merle. Drug addicts. They'd been hiding out here for ages."

Michonne nodded, understanding.

"The bunker downstairs has rooms and they were keepin' some people hostage. Us too, for a little while. Daryl and I were the only ones that made it." She looked up at Michonne then, her eyes wide. "I killed one of them. One of the men." It was so sudden to say, but it just slipped out of her mouth. She wasn't quite sure why she'd said it. Maybe she needed to hear herself say it, but the confession, or whatever it was, made her tense up inside.

She turned around then, to look at the pot on the stove. The water was beginning to boil, so she started tearing open the bags of pasta and pouring the contents into the water angrily. Michonne's touch on her shoulder startled her slightly, but she welcomed it, turning around and letting herself be enveloped by her arms.

"I'm sorry Beth," Michonne said, squeezing her tightly and then letting go. "That's awful. Sorry you had to go through it. Sometimes we have to do terrible things to survive."

"Thanks," Beth replied softly, feeling somewhat comforted. Michonne was strong and wise and brave - someone Beth could look up to. She had killed before, and lived to tell the story and still managed to find things to be happy and positive about. Michonne was living proof that things could be okay.

"How's Daryl been?" Michonne asked, going back to her chair to sit.

It was an innocent enough question, but Beth wasn't sure how to respond. She was practically bursting at the seams with the emotions she felt for Daryl, but she couldn't tell Michonne that. What would she say? That he'd saved her from death a million times? That they'd started having feelings for each other and kissing him was becoming a normal occurrence? That Beth practically gave up after she'd thought she'd lost him from the land mine?

"He sort of shut down after the prison," Beth heard herself say, her mind still spinning with possible answers. "We camped outside for a while - it was pretty rough, but we made it through. We'd been here only a day or so before he got hurt." She sighed. "He was basically asleep for a week - found some painkillers in the bunker so he'd have time to heal."

Michonne was still watching her intently, nodding to indicate she was still listening, so Beth kept going.

"We've gotten pretty close," Beth said, thinking it was casual enough to be the truth. "He's been good to me."

Beth thought she saw Michonne's eyes twinkle, but she didn't say anything, only nodded with a slight smile. "Good," she said. "He's rough on the outside, but he cares."

Beth smiled. "He does. What about you?" she asked. "Saw you had a limp when you were walkin' in before. Everything okay? Anything you want me to take a look at?"

Michonne shook her head. "Ah, I'm alright. Landed the wrong way on my ankle the other day. It'll heal up just fine." She shrugged then. "We've been movin' since the prison pretty much. Found some supplies along the way, but it's nice to actually feel somewhat settled for now. At least we can catch our breath."

"Yeah," Beth responded, smiling at her. She reached across the island to squeeze Michonne's hands in her own.

Michonne winked at her. "Let me get some bowls out for the table," she said. "We can all eat together. Family meal."

Beth nodded happily and watched as Michonne began to rifle through the cabinets, pulling out large bowls for the pasta and went to set them on the table. Beth went to work on the tomato paste, mixing it with water and heating it slowly over the stove. She watched the pasta cook, and once it was done she drained the water and added her makeshift sauce.

"Wow," came Carl's voice from behind her as she worked over the stove. "A hot dinner? This is amazing! Thanks Beth!"

Beth turned to smile at him and saw that he was holding Judith who squealed at the sight of her. Beth laughed, stirring the meal and brought the pot over to the table to serve. Rick and Daryl had been sitting in the living area and looked up as Michonne, Carl, Judith and Beth came to the table.

"Aw Beth, you didn't have to cook nothin'," Daryl said, looking at her from the couch.

She shrugged. "Wanted to. Come on and eat," she said.

And so they did, all of them sitting around the long wooden table that was situated between the living area and the kitchen. The sun was setting outside, giving a beautiful backdrop to their first meal together since the prison. The presence of the others they'd lost were missed, but it was oddly normal.

They were quiet, all eating from their bowls eagerly. Finally, Rick broke the silence. "I'm thinking we need to figure out a replacement for those land mines that have been tripped," he said. "Keep the surrounding area safe." He looked around the table. "It's a large open property - we're surrounded by trees so we won't be able to see anyone or anything coming before they're on our land. We were able to walk right in - others could too."

Daryl nodded. "We should check the bunker - see what kind of supplies are down there. Beth and I searched the house but downstairs is a damn maze. There's some blueprints we found, should be helpful."

"Good," Rick said. "We'll get to it tomorrow."

Judith was squirming in Carl's arms so he passed her to Michonne who bounced her in her lap.

"Is she gettin' tired?" Beth inquired.

"Think so," Rick said, smiling at his daughter and back at Beth.

"Can I put her to sleep?" Beth asked Rick.

"Course," he replied kindly. Beth stood up from her chair and reached out for Judith. Michonne handed the baby to her and she fit perfectly in her arms, laying her head sleepily against Beth's chest.

She took in Judith's perfect little face, her soft, pink skin and wispy hair. Her eyes were sleepy and she brought her small fists up to her eyes, rubbing them - a sure sign of her sleepiness. She cradled her body, happy to be back with her and carried her up the stairs.

Rick had picked the room next to Beth and Daryl's and saw he'd made a makeshift crib next to the bed with a drawer he had pulled from the dresser. He had lined it with towels and blankets to make it comfortable, and Beth smiled, knowing it would probably be one of the most comfortable sleeps Judith had gotten in a while. They could really make something here. There was plenty of wood from the surrounding trees - she supposed Rick and Daryl could even build a real crib for Judith to sleep in.

Judith was restless, so Beth started to sing to her. " _Oh you got to, Hold on, Hold on, You got to hold on, Take my hand, I'm standing right here,You gotta hold on_." She continued the song, the lyrics rolling off her tongue fluidly. Judith liked her Tom Waits renditions, she thought, and she liked singing them.

She paced around the room, rocking Judith until she started to fall asleep, her breathing slowing and eyelids fluttering. Quietly and carefully, she placed Judith in her makeshift crib on the floor and watched her as she fell into sleep, easily and peacefully.

Once she was sure she was asleep, Beth turned to exit the room and was greeted by Daryl in the doorway. He was leaning against the frame, watching her. He looked taller, bigger - stronger maybe? She had forced him to get his arm back into another sling she'd made for him from a cut up oversized t-shirt. She didn't know how long it would last, but his bone still needed to heal. He'd tucked his long hair behind his ears and his blue eyes stood out sharply against his dark features. He had a hint of a smile on his lips. Staying as quiet as she could, she exited the room, closing the door behind her and entered the hallway.

"She asleep?" Daryl asked quietly.

Beth nodded. "How long you been standin' there?" she asked curiously.

"Not long. Heard you singin'," he said.

"Helps her fall asleep," Beth said.

"You're good to that baby," Daryl commented.

"That what you came up here to tell me?" Beth asked, raising her eyebrow.

"No," Daryl responded. "I just," he hesitated, "I wanted to say I'm sorry. About before. How I acted." He bit his lip. "Might not seem like it, but I'm tryin'."

Beth smiled at him. She couldn't help it. "Are you apologizin' to me Daryl Dixon?" she asked.

"I might be." He shifted uncomfortably. Clearly apologies weren't something Daryl did often.

"Well you might need to do a little more to make it up to me," Beth said playfully, feeling forward and frisky all at once. She brought her hands up to his shoulders and standing on her tiptoes, she kissed him.

They were getting more familiar as each day passed, the kisses getting heavier and deeper - Beth knew it wouldn't be long until it led to something else, especially with Daryl feeling better now. He was gaining confidence with her, she could tell, as he placed his one good hand around her neck and thread his fingers through her hair.

It was meant to be a playful kiss, but Daryl wasn't a playful kind of person. He was passionate and rough, like he wanted to devour her every time their lips touched. It was addicting to her, the way he wanted her. She got lost in him every single time.

And then, someone cleared their throat. Beth practically jumped away from Daryl, her heart skipping a beat. She could still feel Daryl's lips on her own, his beard scratching at her chin and she let out a low giggle, her heart beating fast. It was like they'd been caught, school kids, kissing under the bleachers.

"Hi," said Rick, placing his hands on his hips and giving a low chortle. "Now what do we have here?"


	22. Chapter 22 - Sure

All I Ever Will Be

 **Chapter 22 - Sure**

 _Author's Note: Hey guys! Hope you all are still enjoying this story. Thank you so much for everyone who's been reading! I've sort of been writing this without an end in mind, but I finally sat down and planned out the rest of the story so I have a good idea of where it will go now. I'll probably go back and revise the earlier chapters so some of the details make more sense, but just know that there's a lot more story left! This chapter and the next are pure fluff and smut before we get back into the adventure. Enjoy!_

* * *

"Hi," Rich gave a subtle laugh. "Now what do we have here?"

Daryl's heart stopped in his chest. He hadn't told Rick about Beth and him - it hadn't come up. Rick was worried about their safety and the perimeter of the place and the underground bunker, as he should have been. Daryl barely had a chance to get a word in edgewise about Beth and their travels together. After talking through the shit that Rick had been through with his family and Michonne, talking about he and Beth's relationship - he just wasn't sure Rick would care.

He felt his cheeks get warm against his will and he looked down at his feet, as though he were a small child about to be scolded.

"We're, um," Beth stuttered. "Sorta…together." It was awkward. She looked at Daryl, shrugging at him and he knew she wanted him to chime in. She was steady, her eyes boring into him, needing him to say something and he realized he needed to man the fuck up.

Daryl nodded at Beth. "We're together," he confirmed steadily. Beth smiled at him and he felt his apprehension falling away. He lifted his head to look at Rick - his brother - and saw that he was grinning wildly. He hadn't seen a smile like that since back at the prison - but he was quiet, looking back and forth between them. "It's sort of just happened," Daryl went on, trying to give an explanation.

Rick laughed again, then came forward towards Daryl and placed his hand on his shoulder, clasping it tightly. "It's good," he said to him, looking at him, then back at Beth. "It's good for you both."

"Yeah?" Daryl questioned, raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah!" Rick exclaimed. "I mean - Michonne and I," he started and then stopped, trying to find the right words.

"Oh I know," Beth said quickly. "Known since the prison." She looked up at him and then back at Daryl who was starting to put the pieces together. "I thought it was obvious!"

Rick laughed. "That obvious, huh?" he asked. "Well, looks like we've all found something good." He looked at Daryl then, their eyes meeting and said, "I'm happy for you."

It was like a weight was released, hearing those words. Cat was out of the bag, he supposed. Rick's blessing made it feel right - made it feel okay. Beth hadn't needed any sort of confirmation from anyone but Daryl had so few in his life that he really considered family and Rick had been more of a brother to him than Merle had ever been. Deep down, he just wanted to make him proud.

"Judith go down okay?" Rick asked casually, looking to the closed door behind Beth.

Beth nodded. "She's a sucker for Tom Waits," she laughed. Daryl watched her as she tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear, her face flushed from either embarrassment or kissing Daryl, he wasn't sure. Her breathing was still unsteady and that, he knew, was from their kiss. Their interrupted kiss. A kiss that Daryl was determined to finish once they were alone again.

"Thanks for gettin' her to sleep," Rick said. "Coming downstairs?" he asked them both. "Michonne's keen to have some girl time," Rick said to Beth with a wink.

Internally, all Daryl wanted to do was go to their room, close the door and be alone with Beth. He'd been so used to it just being the two of them that he craved being alone with her, tonight more than ever. The day had been overwhelming and tiring and emotionally tolling. Selfishly, Daryl knew Beth could take that away for him. He'd wanted her for months now, but tonight felt different somehow.

He looked towards Beth, but she nodded at Rick, turning towards Daryl and reaching for his hand. He took it, her fingers slipping between his easily and walked down the staircase.

When they reached the kitchen, Carl and Michonne were still sitting at the wooden table and Daryl tensed, thinking he might pull his hand away from Beth - but she gripped him tighter, as if she knew how he felt. He let her keep their hands connected, and it was oddly enthralling for him. It wasn't something Daryl had ever done in front of others, hold someone's hand.

"Thanks for the delicious dinner Beth!" Michonne exclaimed, paying no mind to their holding hands. "Found this hiding in the back of the pantry," she pointed to a large bottle of wine sitting on the table. She'd poured glasses for all of them and grinned excitedly, picking one up to hand to Beth, then gave one to Daryl.

He politely refused, wanting to keep his head clear, so Michonne took the glass and dumped the liquid into her own. Daryl smiled at her as she took a large gulp of wine. He felt Beth's hand leave his own and she went to sit next to Michonne at the table, tightening her fingers around the thin stem of the glass that Michonne had handed her.

Daryl turned towards Rick who was in the living room, poking at the fire in the hearth that they had made before dinner. The scent of burnt wood carried through the room, bringing Daryl back to the fires he'd built with Beth - none as beautiful or impressive as the one he'd made just a few weeks ago in that very hearth when she kissed him deeply and they'd explored each other so intently.

Coming around to sit on the couch, Daryl sank into the fabric, letting his arm hang over the back of the furniture. Rick came towards him and sat close to Daryl so that they could talk. Sitting on a couch with Rick, having a normal conversation, it was laughable.

Rick clearly felt the same as he chuckled at the ridiculousness of their current situation. "How the hell did we end up here?" he said quietly.

Daryl let out a low laugh. "No idea,"

Rick shook his head. "We're lucky we all found it," he said. "It's been a helluva few weeks out there, after the prison." He hadn't expected Rick to bring up the prison so soon, but he was kind of glad he did. It made what they'd lost real.

Daryl grunted in agreement. "That it has."

"So you and Beth?" Rick said raising his eyebrow with a mischievous grin on his face. Ah, here it comes. Rick didn't waste any time.

Daryl nodded. He tried to think of a word to describe what he'd been feeling. He wanted to tell him how she'd kept him alive after the prison. She was the one that made them keep going. She kept their hope alive. She pulled him out of the darkness and back into the light. "She's…everything," he managed to splutter. His thoughts were jumbled, but it was the only explanation he could give him.

"You love her," Rick said. It was more of a statement than a question.

"I don't know," Daryl said, slightly taken aback by his words. "I've never been - don't know what it's like," he stumbled over his words. "I was never - like you and Lori or anythin'." He took a deep breath. "We haven't even - well," he was being awkward, "you know."

Rick laughed, but not unkindly. "That doesn't mean you don't know."

"She saved me," Daryl said suddenly, his words coming together. "She kept me going - kept me hanging on. I couldn't - wouldn't be here, if it wasn't for her." He chewed on his lip, trying to think of how to explain how he was feeling. "I care about her so much it hurts."

Rick nodded knowingly. "I'd say that's love," he said. "You can't really explain it, you just feel it." He put his fist to his chest, right over his heart. "Yeah?"

Daryl shrugged, not knowing quite how to respond to Rick's proclamation. Could he really tell? Could Rick see something that Daryl couldn't even see himself? Did Daryl really love Beth? He looked away from Rick and back towards the kitchen where Beth, Michonne and Carl were sitting around the table laughing with each other. Beth's cheeks were flushed, presumably from the wine and her eyes shifted, catching Daryl's. He stared at her, smiling, his heart practically leaping out of his chest. She looked at him the same way she always did. It was a way no one had ever looked at him before - like she wanted him, she cared about him, wanted to know everything about him - like she loved him.

* * *

The night lasted longer than most before everyone headed up to bed. Rick had offered to stay on watch through the night, though Daryl argued they hadn't been keeping watch for weeks now and all seemed okay, especially with the bunker as a backup plan. Rick wasn't convinced, and stayed outside, gun slung over his shoulder, circling the property. Daryl had offered to stay with him, but Rick insisted on being alone.

Beth and Michonne were both tipsy from the wine, steadying themselves on the banister as they all made their way up the stairs. Carl had chosen a room across the hall for himself and Michonne disappeared into the room where Beth had put Judith to sleep. Finally, he and Beth were alone.

The morning seemed like a lifetime ago, as they entered the room they shared. The sheets on the bed were still in disarray, head indentations still on the pillows where they'd laid throughout the night. Beth wandered into the room, rifling through the dresser. Daryl went to the bathroom to take his shirt off, knowing Beth would soon be behind him to tend to his wounds. It was a routine they had perfected since his injury.

Daryl looked at himself in the mirror, feeling anxious. The anxiety felt unwarranted. He and Beth had been together for weeks now, how was it that she still made him feel like this? Had it been the talk with Rick, or his outburst in the forest? The mention of love - twice today? Was it because he was still so afraid of falling for her?

He took the sling off that Beth had made for him, shaking his arm out and stretching it. His limb felt pretty decent, but he'd let Beth talk him back into a sling, at least for during the day. He took his shirt off next, carefully peeling the fabric away from the bandages on his back. The pain was easing now and his skin was starting to itch, which he knew meant that he was healing. It was about damn time. He toyed with his hair in the mirror, moving it away from his face with his fingers. Although he'd had plenty of showers since they'd been here, he felt like he still looked rough and dirty.

Without warning, he felt Beth's warm hand slip around his waist, and he turned so suddenly that he stumbled over his feet and backed into the sink.

"Ouch," he moaned.

"Oh, I'm sorry," Beth said, catching him by his forearms so he could right himself. "I didn't mean to startle you."

She was dressed in an oversized t-shirt that came down to her knees. Her legs were bare beneath the shirt, and she'd tied her blonde waves behind her head so that her hair hung behind her back in a loose ponytail. She looked at Daryl with wide, worried eyes, placing her hands on his sides again so that he'd turn with his back facing her. He obeyed, facing the mirror, seeing her blonde head behind his large back in the mirror and feeling her soft fingers work on the bandages that covered his skin.

"How's your back feeling?" she asked casually, discarding the bandages to the side. "You're healing nicely."

"Mmhm," Daryl responded. "Feeling a lot better."

"Good," she responded, and she was so close that he could feel the words she said on his skin. It sent shivers down his spine. Every movement was electrifying him. She went to work on placing new bandages and Daryl stood at the sink, obediently, relishing her touch on his skin, wanting so badly to turn around and kiss her.

After what seemed like an eternity she was done and she placed her hands around his waist again to turn him around and he couldn't help himself anymore. He was done hesitating and he was done waiting. It had been too damn long, being with her and not touching her, not having her the way he wanted her. He picked her up, his arms around her sides, lifting her easily onto the counter of the sink. She looked at him, surprised, with a half smile on her face.

"Daryl?" she questioned, but before she could get his name out of her mouth, her slid his hands up the back of her neck and into her hair and brought her face to his to kiss him. Their lips met over and over again, their saliva combining, tongues crashing into each other, teeth clicking together as their mouths met. He could taste the wine on her tongue, mixed with the sweetness of her mouth - the combination was intoxicating.

Beth's small hands grasped at his shoulders and he broke away from her lips to kiss her neck and inhale her scent and taste her skin, salty and fresh. His lips found their way to her ear, her jaw, her cheeks, back to her lips. She was fumbling with the nightshirt she had on and he wanted to tear it off of her, but he couldn't stop kissing her. He wanted his lips to touch every last inch of her.

She placed her hands against his bare chest, playfully pushing him away as she lifted the fabric over her head, throwing it to the side where it spilled off the counter and onto the floor. She hadn't bothered to put a bra on and he licked his lips as he glanced over her breasts, perky and firm. He grabbed them, harder than he intended, relishing the soft skin, his fingers sliding over her nipples and they hardened quickly from his touch. She gasped in pleasure, placing her arms back on the counter and arching her back, baring her chest for Daryl.

His stomach felt like it could jump out of his mouth - anxiety welling up in his chest, not sure if what he was doing was right. He brought his lips to her neck again, trailing down to her shoulder blades, then to the middle of her chest. He kissed her as gently as he could, letting his tongue trail across the raised skin to the center of her breast. He took her nipple in his mouth, letting his tongue flick over the sensitive flesh, sensing that Beth was grasping the sides of the counter she was sitting on.

Her hands were in his hair, pulling at the strands, telling him she liked what he was doing without actually saying it, so he moved to the other side of her chest, not wanting to neglect any part of her body, sucking on her, amazed that anyone could taste or feel this good. He wanted to feel close to her again, so he dove upwards, taking her lips with his own again.

"Daryl," Beth breathed into his mouth, her fingers twirling in his hair. "Bring me to bed."

He looked at her, their foreheads touching and he nodded. He loved her, he was sure of it now. "Anything for you."


	23. Chapter 23 - Love

All I Ever Will Be

 **Chapter 23 - Love**

 _Author's Note: Just a shameless disclaimer that this is my first time writing any kind of smut, so please be easy on me when reviewing & reading. I was super nervous about getting here, but alas, here we are. Anyway, I had a lot of fun writing this chapter! More adventure and Bethyl to come after this. Thanks for reading! _

* * *

Daryl lifted Beth off the counter gently and she wrapped her legs around his waist. "Does that hurt?" she asked, concerned.

He shook his head, cradling Beth in his arms. "You could never hurt me," he whispered to her. The bed was only feet away, but it felt like miles until they reached the edge of it. He placed her down gently and she laid back, looking like something out of a magazine, her freckled skin contrasting against their sheets, her blonde hair falling lose from her ponytail, framing her face. She was fucking picturesque.

She wore plain black panties that hugged her waist and Daryl was quite aware it was the only piece of clothing she had left on. He went to climb into bed, but Beth had pressed her hands into his stomach, sitting up to face him. Her face was level with his chest and he looked down to watch her fingers slide into the waistband of the pants he had on. Her fingers went to work on the button at the top, loosening it, tugging the zipper down. He stood at the edge of the bed awkwardly, letting her work on him, his pants becoming loose as she freed him of the garment.

"Is this okay?" he asked, unsure, letting them fall to the floor.

She nodded, looking up at him and he needed nothing else. He kicked his feet out of the pants and got into the bed, sliding next to her, needing to touch her. He laid her down with him, his arms around her back, on her neck, coming up through her hair, feeling her warmth radiate through his fingers. Her body was so inviting and soft and just so fucking perfect. They were face to face, skin to skin, all parts of their bodies touching like never before and she was chewing on her bottom lip, looking like she was trying to figure out something to say, so he took her face in his hands and kissed her gently.

Beth kissed him back timidly at first and then he felt her hands on his chest, pushing him on his back. He obliged, laying back flat on the pillows and Beth climbed over him so that she was sitting on his lap. He could feel himself bulging against her in his boxers. Underwear - the only pieces of clothing separating them from each other now. He could feel her warmth radiating through the thin fabric and the sensation was so gratifying he almost couldn't stand it.

He could tell that she felt the warmth too, grinding against him as they kissed and his sensitivity shot through the roof as he felt her - everything - there wasn't much left to the imagination now. She was fumbling towards his legs, as though she was going to rip his underwear straight off of him, but Daryl had other plans, shifting Beth so that he could lay her down on the bed, beneath him. He positioned himself on top of her so that he was hovering over her, kissing her still, his lips trailing across her jaw and down her neck.

Her fingernails trailed down the back of his neck as he kissed her breasts, making his way down to her stomach. Her bellybutton was small and cute and he kissed around it, his head spinning from the smell of her skin and excitement from her panties. He was getting lower and lower on her body, and she seemed unable to stay still, wiggling with each touch, her hands in his hair, mouth letting out breathy gasps that made his arm hair stand up on end.

Beth's hands came up to the fabric covering her, the only thing separating Daryl from all of her and he came up for air, watching her as she wiggled out of them, throwing them to the side of the bed. She was his then, completely unclothed and perfect in the soft light from the single lamp in the corner of the room. Her pale skin ended at the middle of her in a tuft of blonde curls, disappearing between her legs. He was in awe of her - she was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen.

"Daryl," she breathed his name, grasping at his neck for him to come back up to her and he did, meeting her lips with his own again. His fingers made their way over her shoulders, down her arm and over her abdomen, eager to touch her. His fingers, he knew were rough, but he slid them through her soft pubic hair, down into her warm slit and she practically jumped off the bed at the touch of him. Their kiss was broken, so he looked at her, their eyes meeting as his fingers explored the warmth and wetness of her lips, taking in every inch of skin. She could barely keep her eyes open as he touched her and it pleased him that he could make her feel so good just with his fingertips. His confidence built as he continued to explore.

Slowly, he found her entrance, dripping with hot juices. Hesitantly, he slid a finger inside and felt her soft walls around him. He watched her as she tensed, though not from pain or discomfort, but from the newness of him being inside of her.

"Daryl," she breathed again, her hands clenching into fists at his shoulders. He wasn't done yet - he wasn't completely clueless, so he took his thumb and searched for her clit, rubbing until he found her nub that caused Beth's hips to come towards him. He smiled, his forehead touching her cheek, her hair surrounding his face, and he brought his lips to her neck, kissing her there. He played with her, trying to concentrate on every sweet sound she made as he moved his fingers inside of her and worked her sweet spot carefully.

She found her arms again and they moved, her hands sliding down the sides of him, sticking to the sweat that had formed on his skin, ending at the fabric that barely covered him now. She tugged at his boxers, sliding the waistband over his ass, down to his knees, setting him free. He bulged against her, the tip of his cock drooling down her stomach and her tiny fingers found his head, playing with the soft skin there, setting him on fire.

"Beth," he breathed, hanging his head, watching her hands work their way down his shaft. He was throbbing, all of him, with desire. He had never been touched or explored like this, and he'd never wanted to know someone else's body this way. Beth was a fucking masterpiece - everything about her was perfect and delicate.

"What?" she answered, looking up at him innocently, her blue eyes glinting devilishly and her mouth turned in a grin, throwing him over the edge. He moved back and then up against her, the head of his cock brushing into the curls of her pubic hair and she squealed in delight. Daryl moved his head into her neck again, kissing her, then sucking on her skin, aware he might leave a mark but not caring in the least. He grunted from the pressure in his groin - he was so close to her center, the warmth radiating down his cock. Just one more push, one slight movement and he would be inside her.

He lifted his head, looking at Beth, taking in the details of her face, the arch of her eyebrows, the freckles over her nose and her eyes - oh, those big, beautiful doe eyes that looked at him the way they did. She watched him longingly, gripping his arms, squirming below him to slide him inside of her, but he wanted to make sure she knew what this meant to him. "Beth," he said in a low voice, and she stopped moving at the sound of her name, looking up at him, chewing on her lip, driving him insane. "I love you," he said.

And that was it - there was no going back. He took his hand and adjusted the tip of himself at her center, pushing in as gently as he could and he saw stars as he entered her, the slick walls of her body surrounding his cock. She gasped, digging her nails into his shoulders and it hurt, but he didn't care. He was too overwhelmed with the instant pleasure of being inside Beth, the sensation overtaking his body, screaming at him to move.

He groaned with satisfaction as he pulled himself out slightly and pushed back in, and again, the friction making him lose his mind. He needed to taste her, so he kissed her mouth, silencing the gasps she released as he drilled himself into her. Her hands were in his hair, pulling it slightly as their bodies connected, skin hitting skin, falling into a beautiful rhythm. Daryl's momentum caused Beth's legs to rise up as he pushed and pulled himself into her, bliss rising up through him, pleasure overtaking his body.

It had been so long and Beth felt so good that the tension rose quickly, before he realized what was happening. He'd lost control now, something animalistic had taken over as he hovered over Beth, drinking her body in as he slammed his cock into her, unable to slow down. She seemed to like it though, grabbing at every inch of open skin he had, saying his name in between her gasping. It was like she wanted him closer, and he wished he could be, but they were quite possibly as close to each other as any two people could be.

The bed was rocking now, the headboard slamming into the wall, mocking the rhythm Daryl had set. He laid his body on top of hers, grinding into her, knowing how close he was. He wanted to taste her, smell her, feel every inch of Beth beside him. She was letting out soft moans, squeezing at his skin, her lips looking like they wanted to form words, but couldn't. Her eyelids fluttered as he moved - was she close?

He hastily fumbled his bad arm to her clit, pain soaring into his shoulder but he ignored it, scrambling to touch her, to make her feel just as good as he did. It was instant, the moment he found her small, sensitive button, she dug her nails into his shoulders as he felt her walls tighten around him. Her hands were gone then - behind him, grabbing his ass, pushing more of him into her, even though he didn't think he could fit any further.

She came in waves, her ragged breaths sounding like soft sobs and she released her nails from Daryl's skin slowly. He wasn't done yet, but watching her come down from her height of stimulation was what finally sent him over. He pounded into her for the last few times, the sweet release of pleasure pouring out of Daryl with a low grunt that exited his throat unintentionally. He finished, spilling himself into her, her walls closing around his cock, accepting him and he brought his arms around the back of her, needing her skin against his, now more than ever.

They laid together in a sticky, sweaty mess, their breaths heavy and uneven, trying to gain control over their bodies again. Daryl nuzzled his head into her shoulder, breathing her in - sweat and the sweet smell of sex that hovered over them. Beth wrapped her arms around him, and he brought his head back so they were face to face. He felt her fingers making their way towards his back where she'd carefully placed his bandages. They were peeling at the edges, he could feel them, and through her ragged breathing, she was trying to adjust them.

It was adorable, and he smiled at her, forcing himself to open his eyes to look at her in all her beauty. Her face was flushed now, bright red from exertion. Her hair was pulled loose from her ponytail, strands sticking to her sweaty forehead, so he brought up a finger to pull them away and tuck them behind her ears. She smiled at him as he did this, and he smiled back, completely unable to help himself.

When he was finished, she grabbed his arm, holding it, staring at him. She brought her hand up to his face and threaded her fingers through his long hair, her fingertips touching his scalp.

"Daryl?" she said.

"Mhmm?" he responded.

"Did you mean what you said?" she asked him. "Before?"

"What?" he asked.

"That you love me?" She looked at him curiously, her eyes scanning his face.

Daryl narrowed his eyes slightly. "'Course I meant it," he said. "Can't you tell?" He cupped her chin with his hand. "I love you Beth."

She smiled, her grin touching her ears. "I love you too Daryl," she said.

He could have soared through the window at her proclamation, feeling more filled with happiness and contentment than he ever thought possible. How was it feasible - in this world, to still feel like this? How was it possible to have something this good? To still love anything or anyone? He didn't care anymore, letting his thoughts fall away. Daryl took Beth in his arms, squeezing her to his chest, as though he was afraid she would fall away from him. She let him wrap himself around her, curling up to fit his body perfectly and he held her as they both drifted off to sleep.


	24. Chapter 24 - Answers

All I Ever Will Be

 **Chapter 24 - Answers**

A/N: _Hi guys! Sorry for the amount of time it took me to get this up. I went back and re-wrote a HUGE chunk of the first part of this story, adding a lot of Beth's POV and getting rid of some of the details that didn't really make sense. If you're interested, please go back and read - or don't! The story will still make sense from here on out. As always, thanks for reading, reviewing, favoriting, following and all that. You guys are the best!_

* * *

Beth woke slowly, blinking her eyelids open as the world swam into view. The room was the same as it had been since she'd chosen it, the walls - a white pine that reflected the sun that snuck in through the blinds, an oriental rug covering the ground beneath the bed. The bed was just as comfortable, just as plush as it had been the first night she sank into it. But her world now was very, _very_ different.

Daryl's arms were still around her, holding her close to his warm, still naked body. She was awake now, aware of his skin touching her own. She looked down at his arms, touching him softly, tracing her fingertips over his forearms. He stirred behind her, giving a tired grunt and he placed his chin on her shoulder, kissing her ear through her hair. His breath was warm, landing on the sensitive skin of her neck and she shivered, wrapping her fingers around his arm.

She rolled over towards him slowly, wanting to face him. Daryl's hair was swept to the side, his sharp features illuminated in the sunlight behind him. His eyes were tired and serious, as piercingly blue as ever. The way he looked at her made her stomach jump, butterflies erupting deep in her belly. She brought her hands up to his face, touching the scruff of his beard and it felt prickly on her fingers. She touched his lips then and his mouth turned up into a grin.

"What're doin'?" he mumbled, puckering his lips to kiss her fingers as they explored his face.

"Touchin' you," she answered.

"Mmm," he groaned in satisfaction. "You okay?" he asked, bringing one of his arms around to the small of her back to pull her closer to him. Their skin met, her breasts pushed up against his chest, his shaft against her leg, threatening excitement. He was so warm and strong and all she could think about was how he'd filled her so completely last night. A jolt in her pelvis made her lick her lips and want to jump him all over again.

"I'm great," Beth breathed, kissing along his jaw, trailing her fingers down his shoulders.

A loud knock came then from their door - fist meeting the wood, rattling it hurriedly. They were both startled - the moment, broken.

"Ya'll comin' down for breakfast?" It was Rick. "I'm cookin'!"

Beth watched Daryl as he looked towards the door then back at Beth, squinting his eyes closed, looking pained. Without releasing his grip on her, he cleared his throat. "Yeah," he called loudly. "We'll be down."

"Good," she heard Rick say on the other side of the door.

Daryl's eyes met Beth's and he grinned goofily at her, his shoulders trembling with laughter. "Ah fuck," he whispered.

"What's so funny?" Beth asked, feeling confused.

"Breakfast is gonna be rough," Daryl said simply, bringing his lips to her forehead to kiss her. "That bastard."

"Rough, how?"

Daryl reached up to touch the headboard of the bed, pushing it so that it hit the wall behind it. "Mmm," he said. "Reckon we might have made some noise last night."

Beth broke away from his body, grasping at the thin sheet that was at her midsection so it would cover her chest. "Noise? Did he…did they, hear us?" Beth shrieked, a little louder than she intended. She was horrified at the thought that someone could have heard what had happened last night. It was such an intimate thing. She squeezed her eyes shut, remembering the steady rhythm they'd been in and the loud banging of the bed's headboard slamming into the wall. She'd been too consumed last night to care - but now?

Daryl grinned at her, sitting up himself. "Sorry," he said sheepishly.

Her face was hot and she knew she was blushing, just thinking what Rick and Michonne must of thought - and Judith! And Carl! She brought her hands up to her mouth, covering her nose as she cringed inwardly. Oh, what Daddy would think of her now!

"Just so you know, I didn't…plan for that to happen or nothin'," Daryl started awkwardly, staring at her nervously. "I hope…" he struggled to find his words. "I hope it was okay. It's been a while."

She brought her hands away from her face. "Oh Daryl, it was wonderful," she said, still feeling horrified. "I just wish the whole house hadn't heard!"

"What's it matter?" Daryl asked, bringing his face closer to hers, leaning in to kiss her. "You told me to stop worryin' what everyone else thinks about this."

He was right, she had said that. And she'd meant it too - but she hadn't anticipated this. He was close to her nose, his eyes closed in front of her, so she let him kiss her, her shoulders relaxing as she tasted him again - sweaty, smoky, lovely Daryl.

Embarrassment still overcame her when he broke away to look at her. "Can we just stay here?" she asked, feeling foolish - wanting to sink into the sheets and disappear. "Maybe they'll forget about it in a few days?"

Daryl shook his head at her. "Let them have their fun," he said, brushing her cheek with his hand. "All I care about is that I get to love you."

It was such an un-like Daryl thing to say, so she acknowledged it, clasping her hand to his, still on her cheek, nestling into it. "You're a romantic, Daryl Dixon," she teased.

He acted mock offended to her observation. "Am not. Just saying what I feel," he said. "Let's get on down to breakfast."

* * *

Rick was a terrible cook, so Michonne had taken over, mixing together something that looked an awful lot like pancakes. "Applesauce," Michonne said to Carl, without turning around, "is the trick, when you don't have any eggs."

Daryl and Beth entered the kitchen as casually as possible, trying to not attract any attention to themselves. Rick was sitting at the table, pouring over the blueprints that Daryl had shown him, as well as the moleskin notebook he'd found before his accident.

Judith noticed their presence first, squealing on the floor of the kitchen where she sat among a variety of pots and pans, clanging away with a wooden spoon. The scene looked so normal to Beth, besides the fact that they all might has well have been in the room as Beth and Daryl were making love last night. The moment she thought of it, her cheeks flushed, though she'd willed them not to and she succumbed to the embarrassment at last.

"Beth! Daryl," Rick said, looking up from the table. "Glad you could join us!"

Michonne let out a small giggle from the stove, still facing away from them, her hand on her hip. She flipped a pancake.

"Smells good," Beth commented, trying to ease the awkwardness.

"Come on and sit down," Rick said, motioning for them to take a seat at the table. He scooped up the blueprints and the notebook, revealing that their places had already been set with plates and silverware. Beth obliged, sitting on the chair next to Rick. Daryl followed suit, sitting down slowly, eyeing Rick suspiciously.

After shifting the blueprints to the floor, Rick placed his elbows on the table, folded his hands together and rested his chin on top of them. "So," he said, drawing it out. "How'd you sleep?"

Beth's eyes widened and she knew instantly that he was teasing them. Despite Rick's good intentions, Beth was horrified.

"Ah Rick, will you let them be!" Michonne scolded, following it with a laugh. Carl was standing beside her, holding a plate onto which she plated a stack of pancakes.

Rick looked at Michonne, a wide grin planted on his face. "Ah, I'm just having some fun," he defended himself.

"You are not!" Michonne said, coming to the table with the plate of pancakes. She set it down gently in the center of the table. "You're makin' them squirm in their seats. Hush!"

Rick obliged and Beth looked up at her gratefully. Michonne gave her a quick wink, sitting down at a seat herself and picking up Judith to sit in her lap. Carl came to the table last, and they all dug into breakfast which was the most delicious thing Beth had eaten in quite some time. And when Daryl placed his hand around her thigh, she thought things couldn't get much better than they were at that very moment.

* * *

They had all cleared the table together, and Rick laid the blueprints back out for he and Daryl to have a look at. He unrolled the large paper, smoothing it at the edges. Daryl saw that it was the one that outlined the bunker. "Have you taken a look through this?" Rick asked Daryl.

Daryl shook his head, feeling slightly unprepared. "Didn't have much time - the injury," he responded. "Meant to, just never quite…got to it."

Rick nodded. "Well, the underground is a maze. According to this, there's the full bunker you and Beth had seen, but there's also a large lab and control center buried under here somewhere." Rick pointed to the blueprint where the additional rooms were labeled. As he scanned the piece of paper, he saw the outline of the tunnel that they'd first walked through and the maze of turns they'd taken to get there. It was quite an impressive structure.

"There's a pantry, supply room, even a water supply down there. I reckon we should sift through it, see what kind of materials we can gather. This house, it's great, but it's wide open in the middle of the woods. We might want to see if we can sustain ourselves down there - in case we get overrun here."

Daryl nodded at Rick, thankful for his leadership. "Yeah," he responded. "Think that's a great plan."

"And this," Rick held up the moleskin notebook that Daryl and Beth had first found when exploring the house. "It's fascinating. I've only read part of it, but seems like whoever built this place was one of the head scientists at the CDC. Left when things went south, so it seems, but also brought a lot of research home over a long period of time." Rick paused for a minute. "Seems whoever's journal this is...might have anticipated that The Turn was coming."

Daryl's eyes widened as Rick spoke, his mind not immediately registering the words he was saying.

"You mean, he might know what caused it?" Daryl asked.

Rick nodded. "There may be information in this very house or beneath it explaining what this is. I think we might finally find some answers, Daryl," Rick said slowly. "We might be able to figure out what caused the outbreak in the first place."


	25. Chapter 25 - There's More

All I Ever Will Be

 **Chapter 25** \- There's More

 _Author's Note: Again, a huge thank you to you guys for reading, following, favoriting and reviewing! The support has really kept me wanting to keep moving forward on this fic and I'm really excited with where it's taking me! I hope you guys are enjoying reading it as much as I am writing it!_

* * *

Daryl's head was spinning. "Answers?" he repeated.

Rick nodded. "Guy's name was Watkins. Talks about some airborne disease that they couldn't control or contain. He was afraid before it even started. Months before it started." He took the notebook and tucked it into his back pocket. "Let's take a look around downstairs and see what we find. Maybe there's nothin', but maybe…maybe there's somethin'."

Rick had a sense of hope in his eyes that Daryl had seen before - just before they'd taken the prison. Like maybe this could be something. Maybe it could mean something. Daryl stuffed his hands into his back pockets, pacing a few steps, then turning back, thinking. Answers. What would answers mean? What would they do with it anyhow? Did it even really matter? Did they even want to know? "I'm gonna grab Beth," Daryl said, chewing on his lip. "She'll want to come."

"Sure," Rick said. "Michonne will wanna come too. Carl can watch Judith."

An uncertainty rose inside of Daryl, rattling him. He couldn't quite understand why, but without a further word, Daryl went to find Beth, knowing exactly where she'd be.

* * *

Beth was back at the piano, gliding her fingers over the ivory. The house was massive and beautiful, but this was her favorite part about it. The piano was white and glossy, as though it had never been touched - not a scratch on it. Miles different from the piano at the Greene's farm. It had been old and barely standing - an instrument Daddy had as a child. Thinking about it made her heart ache.

She played absentmindedly, her nimble fingers flying over the keys, pushing them by memory. She'd settled on _Moonlight Sonata_ , one of her favorites. It was one of those songs you could only play on the piano - you couldn't sing it. Hauntingly beautiful. She felt Daryl's presence in the doorway and hit the wrong key by accident.

Pulling her fingers back, she looked up at him. His eyes were fixed on her.

"We're going down to the bunker." His voice was steady and deep.

"What for?"

He shrugged and looked away from her.

"What for?" Beth repeated.

"The blueprints," Daryl said. "Had a lot more information than I realized. There's more down there. Gotta check it out."

"More?" Beth pushed him.

Daryl hesitated in the doorway, then released it, coming to sit down with Beth at the piano. "Remember that notebook we found the first day we were up here lookin' around?" he asked, staring down at the keys.

"Yeah," she said, feeling anxious.

"Never read it," Daryl said. "Shoulda took the time to look through it."

"Daryl." She placed her hand flat against his back, gently, knowing it was still tender.

"Rick said it's some sort of journal - from that guy we found. The professor. He was part of the CDC. Got out when things got bad - says he knew about the virus or whatever it was before it ever even happened." He looked up at her then, his long bangs falling into his eyes. "Rick thinks we might find answers about whatever caused all this." He shifted his gaze to the window behind her. "The walkers."

Beth's skin had formed goosebumps as she listened to him. "Answers?" she asked, repeating what he'd said earlier to Rick. "What's that mean?"

"Dunno," Daryl answered. "Not sure Rick does either. But come on and look with us. I need you down there with me."

"Oh Daryl," Beth sighed, letting out a large breath. "I haven't been down there since…"

"I know," Daryl slid his hand around Beth's hip, sliding her easily across then bench so that their bodies met. She smiled a little at him, looking up, their faces close now. "If we go together, won't be so bad." He leant forward slightly, barely touching her lips with his own, as though he was unsure if he should kiss her, so she pressed herself against him, bringing her hands to his shoulders and pulling him towards her.

He tasted like breakfast - sweet from the applesauce. His lips were much softer than the first time she'd kissed him, likely from how well they'd been eating and staying hydrated over the past few weeks. His lips were plump and full of life now, begging to be kissed all the time. And Beth didn't mind, kissing him all the time. He was hers. Her Daryl. He would be hers no matter if they found answers or not.

* * *

They stood in the garage. Beth next to Michonne, next to Daryl, next to Rick who was holding the rolled up blueprint under his arm. The bunker door looked smaller than she remembered it. She had struggled to close it the last time she'd climbed out of it and it blended into the floor, the edging barely visible. It was an ingenious design, meant to keep away the living, not the dead.

"C'mon," Daryl said gruffly, reaching for the handle, tugging at it with both hands, his muscles bulging as he pulled. The door came up, thick and heavy, slamming into the concrete floor to reveal a dark hole with a faint light visible at the bottom. He sat on the edge, dipping his legs into the dark abyss, gently letting his body fall. Beth heard him hit the metal frame of the stairs below, his hands still visible at the top. He gestured for the rest of them to come forward.

Michonne went first, sitting on the floor and swinging her legs in, dropping down with Daryl's help. Beth was next, carefully lowering herself in. She felt Daryl's arms, familiar and strong, keeping her legs straight and supporting her back as she jumped down onto the metal frame. Rick came last, landing solidly on the top, rattling it. Beth wasn't sure the stairs were meant to support four people at once, so she started down them quickly.

"Leave it open," she heard Rick say to Daryl, as he hurried down behind her.

They all reached the bottom quickly, facing the open door, supported by the chair that Beth had placed there when Daryl and her had escaped upstairs. She stopped at the doorframe, seeing the large room where they'd been kept when they'd first arrived. It had only been a few weeks, but it felt like a lifetime since she'd been down there, collecting the painkillers for Daryl. She'd done it quickly, rushing to be back with him after she'd finished, partly because she was so afraid of losing him, but also partly because there'd been things down here that she hadn't dealt with.

She clung to the doorframe, both arms on the siding and she felt Michonne and Rick slip past her, in awe of the size of the room. She watched them as they wandered about, feeling Daryl behind her. He wasn't touching her, just close to her.

"You okay?" he asked gently.

She nodded, not sure if she believed her own answer, hating that this was so hard for her. _You're a fighter_ , she reminded herself.

"C'mon then," Daryl said, slipping next to her. She reached out for him, grabbing his wrist and then his hand. He looked at her, concerned, taking her hand in his own, squeezing it so tightly she thought her bones might break. "It's alright," he reassured her. "There's not much to find in this room anyway. Rick said there's other rooms we haven't even seen yet."

She saw Rick in the distance, weaving in and out of the rooms with the metal doors, his hands still holding the massive blueprint. Michonne was investigating the kitchen area behind the pillar, so Beth and Daryl went to sit in the living space.

Once it seemed that they were satisfied with their exploration, Rick sat on one of the couches, Michonne following suit, and spread the blueprint out in front of them. He stared at it, turning his head, trying to make sense of it. As Rick explained their pathway to the next room, Beth's eyes made their way towards the door where she'd been held, tuning him out completely.

The body was still in there, it had to be. She had an odd urge to go and look at it - to see what she'd done for some kind of sick closure. To make it real. She'd killed someone. _Killed_ someone. The thought shot through her heart and raced throughout her body - an unexplained anxiety that she couldn't contain. She felt nauseous and sad, trying to suppress the sudden emotions that had been brought on by being down here again.

"Alright?" Rick said, looking at Beth.

She snapped out of it and nodded. "Yeah," she said, looking at Daryl. He squeezed her hand again.

"Alright," Rick said again, rolling up the blueprint and standing up. "Let's go."

* * *

Beth's hand felt frail in his own and she seemed distant and anxious. Daryl was good at reading people, but Beth especially. They'd spent so much time together the past few months, it was hard not to sense what she was feeling. He knew her kill was weighing heavily on her mind, and he'd blamed himself for that. He had yelled at her the other day, bringing it up, needing to make her feel bad because he couldn't figure out his own feelings. He'd wished he could take it back.

He wasn't sure if she was ready to come down here quite yet, but knew she wouldn't want to stay upstairs for something like this. The time down in the bunker had bothered him too. They'd made it out alive, yes, but with a price. They'd almost been killed. Beth had almost been raped. They'd both killed living people, not just walkers. And now, the thought of finding information that might explain what had caused The Turn. Well, it was all very overwhelming, even for Daryl.

Rick was determined though, pushing the wall forward, revealing the hallway outside the hidden door. The lights in the hall flickered on and Rick urged them to follow him.

They were close together now, Rick heading up the line, Michonne behind him, Beth next and finally Daryl. Opening the door was dangerous, Daryl knew - anyone could have wandered into the tunnel since Beth had covered up the entrance in the forest.

The concrete tunnel was quiet though, their footsteps echoing off the walls, making their steps sound louder than they actually were. Rick guided them through a series of turns and Daryl marked their way back with a piece of chalk Rick had found upstairs in a junk drawer.

Finally, Rick stopped in his tracks. He looked to his left and then to his right. "I think this is some kind of storage room," Rick said, pointing to his right. "And this room, is labeled as a lab."

Daryl went to the right first, pushing in the wall, feeling it give way easily. The wall cracked open and the stench of rotting corpses washed over him, making his eyes water and his stomach churn. There was an unmistakable groan of a walker inside and Daryl tensed, reaching for his knife he'd grabbed before they'd started their journey.

The head of a dead man tried to push forward through the small opening that Daryl had made, but the body was too large to fit through. The walker's head banged against the concrete, peeling what little skin it had left away from the cranium. Daryl plunged his knife into the bone, killing it instantly. It fell limp, sliding down the concrete and Daryl pushed into the door again, sliding it open.

The room was dark, so Michonne handed him a flashlight which he clicked on and shone around the small room. The smell of bodies was overwhelming and as Daryl stuck his head in, he saw that the floor was littered with the dead. This must have been where their captors had kept the bodies of everyone they'd killed - rather than dispose of them outside the bunker. Fucking gross.

The light revealed that there were stone shelves, built into the wall, but all of them were bare. "Nothin' in here," Daryl said. taking his head back out, holding back a gag from the smell. Beth and Michonne both had their hands over their noses and mouths, but Rick nodded at him and Daryl closed the door behind him.

Rick went to the door on the left, pushing it with his shoulder a few times before it even started to budge. "Daryl," Rick said and without emphasizing anything, Daryl came beside him to help put some weight into opening it. The door finally gave way, shifting in place, allowing enough space for everyone to pile into the room.

Lights flicked on as they stepped inside, revealing what was clearly a scientific laboratory. The room opened up just as the other one had - large and circular, with a large concrete pillar in the middle, holding up the ceiling above their heads. The other side of the door they had just opened was pure steel with a large locking mechanism. It was almost like they were stepping into a large bank safe. Anyone who came into this room could completely lock themselves in from the inside.

The layout of the room was nearly identical to the other one, except instead of metal doors on the back wall, there were clear, glass ones, that led into different rooms, though they were all shrouded in darkness. There was counter space along the entirety of the walls all filled with different metal faucets, burners, scales, scattered papers and microscopes.

From the ceiling above the counters were cabinets with clear fronts, revealing all sorts of glass beakers, flasks and cylinders inside. It was clearly a space that had been worked in, with papers and journals scattered about the countertops. Around the circular pillar there were all sorts of expensive looking equipment and machinery. Daryl couldn't even take a guess at what they might have been for.

"What are we looking for?" Michonne asked quietly, breaking the silence.

"Anythin' - supplies or food mostly," Rick responded. "The usual."

Well that was something Daryl could do, find supplies. It was something he was good at. Something familiar. He knew Rick was looking for more, but he didn't want to say it out loud. Daryl sensed he hadn't even told Michonne what he'd read in the journal. Maybe he was waiting until he'd read through the whole thing. Or maybe he wasn't trying to worry her.

Beth veered off from Daryl, heading towards a cabinet, dropping his hand. As she let go of him, his shoulders relaxed. He realized he was tensed with her beside him, holding in the emotion he'd felt radiating off of her. He hated seeing her anything other than happy. He internalized all the negative things she felt - pain, anger, hurt. He supposed that's what all of this came with - love. Hurting for someone when they hurt.

He made it to the wall and went to open one of the doors on the far left, the inside coming into view as he came closer. The room was small and square, with a single chair in the middle. There were monitors mounted on the walls, four across and four high, sixteen in all. He opened the door, curious, and a hum met his ears. A light flickered on, and the monitors came to life, different landscapes coming into view.

Movement caught his attention, and he saw a familiar sheriff's hat bouncing across the screen. Carl. He was at the front of the house, pacing up and down the front stairs, Judith tottering nearby in the grass. The wheels turned and Daryl realized the screens must be set up to cameras surrounding the property and the bunker. He switched his focus to another screen, looking at the forest surrounding the house, then to another which showed part of the concrete tunnel.

All of the monitors were working, except one in the middle. It was still black, though on the top, a green light was illuminated next to a small square. Daryl shrugged it off, fascinated by the technology in the small space.

He stuck his head out of the room and yelled, "Hey! C'mere and take a look at this!"

Footsteps came closer towards him as Rick, Michonne and Beth crowded around the door to the room, peering in. Rick's face looked stunned, his eyes taking in the screens, watching Carl and Judith outside. Beth and Michonne both looked mesmerized too. It had been a long time since any of them had seen any sort of television or computer screen working. It felt foreign and unworldly.

And then, the dark, blank screen jumped to life, a woman appearing, her face worried and worn. "Who are you!" she shouted at them. "Who are you and what have you done with Watkins?"


	26. Chapter 26 - The Scientist

All I Ever Will Be

 **Chapter 26** \- The Scientist

* * *

Rick stepped forward, the reflection of the screen shining in his eyes as he stared at the woman who seemed agitated and a little on the hysterical side. She was older, Daryl would place her in her late fifties, with dark olive skin, chocolate brown eyes, framed by large glasses and short black hair. Her face was an oval shape with a short, round nose. She spoke with a heavy accent, he guessed it may have been Spanish.

She shook her head at Rick. "Well?"

"Are you real?" Rick asked, touching the screen with his fingertips. It was a fair question, Daryl reasoned. The things they'd stumbled upon over the past few weeks hadn't seemed real at all. Hell, the past two years of their lives hadn't seemed real.

"I am," she said. "Where is Watkins?" She leaned closer towards the screen with a threatening sort of stare. It was intimidating, even though the screen.

"He's dead," Daryl grumbled.

Her eyes shifted over to him, looking him up and down. "Did you kill him?" she asked through her teeth, narrowing her eyes at him.

"I didn't," he replied angrily, almost with a growl. He had a hard time with people judging him instantaneously, but Beth shifted behind him, placing her hand at the small of his back and coming up next to him - a gesture to try and calm him down. He tried to relax. "Some other fuckers did," he continued on. "Was dead when we got here."

The woman's face fell, and she took her glasses off slowly, running her hands over her face. "I hadn't heard from him in many weeks," she said as she did this. "I feared the worst, but thought maybe he had just lost his electricity. Maybe it wasn't anything serious. He'd told me how bad things had gotten out there, but he was supposed to stay safe. He had prepared for this." She shook her head, and looked at Daryl again. "You're sure?"

Daryl nodded at her, remembering the body, sloppily murdered by a bunch of bullets. "Pretty damn sure. He was shot." The woman recoiled as he said this, giving him the impression that she might not have been as used to seeing the dead as they had been. "Sorry," he mumbled as an afterthought.

She waved a hand at him. "Don't be," she said softly, regaining her composure. "I suppose I should have assumed. You gonna tell me who you all are and how you came to be in his home?"

Rick straightened up instinctually. "I'm Rick," he said. "This here's Michonne." Michonne put her hands on her hips and stared at the screen furiously. The woman nodded her head towards her. "Beth." Beth gave a slight, shy wave. After all this, after all they'd been through, she was still friendly to everyone. Cautious, but still open. "And Daryl."

Daryl grunted his hello.

"And how did you all come to find his lab? He had things locked up pretty tight." The woman's eyes bore into Daryl. He shifted uncomfortably.

"We were part of a larger group, all of us," Daryl drawled, shoving his hands in his pockets. "Our home was destroyed. We all got split up. Beth and I stumbled across this bunker few weeks back while we were looking for shelter. Was taken over by two no good scumbags keepin' hostages in some of the underground rooms. We escaped," he looked at Beth who met his eyes, looking saddened by his words. "Took care of the people we found here. Found Watkins in the upstairs house, killed in one of the rooms."

Rick had crossed his arms now, stepping backwards in line with the rest of them. "Who was he?" Rick asked.

"Watkins?" the woman said, like she was surprised they didn't know. "Associate Director for Science at the CDC. Brilliant man. Scientist. He was my teacher and my friend. Taught me everything I know."

"And what exactly do you know?" Rick questioned.

The woman looked at him curiously. "That's a loaded question honey," she said. "I know that a virus meant for biological warfare was released into our world very suddenly and uncontrollably, bringing the dead back to life. I know it destroyed populations, cities, governments, organizations. It overtook almost 99% of our planet. I know a lot of people died, but I also know," she lowered her arms out of the frame, "That some of us survived."

"Yeah, well, that's no revelation," Rick said to her. "We've all survived, and others like us."

"No." The woman shook her head at him. "I mean there were small populations - places, people that weren't exposed to the virus. People that had not been infected. People that have still not been infected."

The words hung in the air for a minute. Populations. Places. People. Not infected. No virus.

"Not hit by the virus?" Rick repeated her words. "Everyone was hit by the virus."

"No," she said adamantly. "Not everyone."

Rick shook his head at her. "That's impossible. We're all infected." He looked at Daryl. "He told us, at the CDC. He told us that we were all infected." Daryl nodded at him with reassurance. "He told us we were all infected," he repeated to the woman in the television. "We die, we turn."

The woman nodded, putting her glasses back on. "For the most part, yes, you're all infected. But," she put a finger up, "the virus is airborne. It can't survive everywhere."

Beth let out a dry sob beside Daryl. He reached for her hand and she took it, her other arm grasping his forearm tightly.

"So, you mean to tell me that there's areas completely unaffected by all this?" Rick said, trying to make sense of her words. "How is that possible?"

"Oh it's possible," she said, as though it were common information. "Climates with more sunshine hours, closest to the equator can't support this type of airborne virus. The disease can't survive in the environment. The ultraviolet light or UV rays from the sun, they're harmful to the infectious particles that travel through the air. More temperate climates, with less sunlight hours, that's where this virus thrives. Stick it in an urban environment, and it will spread. Quickly." She nodded at all of them. "Close to Atlanta, aren't you? It's a miracle any of you survived."

Daryl's head was spinning. It wasn't possible. She was making it up. She had to be. How could nobody they'd come across known _something_? Beth was trembling. He looked down at her, her blue eyes focused determinedly on the woman. Rick seemed to be unsure of how to react, his mouth slightly open in surprise and Michonne was fumbling with her fingers, placing them on her hips, then in her pockets, then crossing her arms over her chest.

When they didn't speak, the woman continued on. "I'm sorry, I know this might be a bit overwhelming. I'm not sure how much information you've been exposed to…"

"Nothing," Rick said, interrupting her, his voice unsteady. "We've been exposed to nothing. We haven't heard anything. For years." Rick turned back towards Michonne. She placed her fingers around his arm, to steady him. He was bouncing on his heels, as though he was going to lose it. If they heard much more, Daryl thought they might all lose it.

"How many uninfected people are there with you?" Rick asked.

"Here?" the woman asked, not allowing Rick to answer. "Last I saw in our city, I'd say a few hundred left, if not more. But I have no way of knowing for sure."

"A few _hundred_ people?" Michonne spoke up.

"Yes," the woman leaned back in the chair she was sitting in, taking a heavy sigh. "It may not matter soon anyhow. So much of the world has crumbled." She shook her head sadly.

"Where areyou?" Rick asked, ignoring her words, his tone getting angrier. Daryl knew that tone - Rick wanted answers. He wanted to make sense of this.

"Macapá, Brazil" she responded. "The equator runs through the middle of our city. When things started getting bad, I moved across the river to a more remote location we had built when Watkins first warned us. Once news broke of what was happening in the rest of the world, many decided they didn't need to follow the rules anymore. Crime rose. The system failed. Many people died, from lack of resources and not being able to fend for themselves. Some left. Medical care was scarce. But in all the cases I have seen here, the dead have not come back to life. We remain uninfected."

Rick was shaking his head at her in disbelief.

She continued, "Of course I am using extra precautions. It's no exact science. Watkins had prepared me long before this all happened so I'm secluded, along with a few others on my team. Perhaps the virus will spread over to us, we've always been prepared for it to do just that, but until it did, Watkins and I were continuing our research."

"Research of what, exactly?" Rick asked.

"For, a cure," she responded, like it was obvious.

"A cure?" Rick said in disbelief. He laughed then, a nervous, short laugh, looking around at Daryl, then Beth, then back at Michonne. Had he heard her right - a cure? But there hadn't been hope. There'd been nothing at the CDC. Not any glimmer of a solution left. There was no one coming to save them, and they'd made do. They'd adapted to the world.

"Yes. A cure for those still living, so that if they die they don't turn. But now that Watkins is gone," she hung her head. "Doesn't make much sense to continue does it? He had half the research. Half the knowledge. I can't get access to the infected from where I am without putting myself in danger. In order to determine a cure, I needed to understand the differences between the two. Human trials. Where's the difference, and how can we cure it? But I can't do that on my own, and certainly not without Watkin's guidance."

Rick cocked his head. "No," he shook his head. "No, this isn't possible." He turned around to face Daryl, eyes wild and wide. "I don't believe this," Rick whispered. Daryl shook his head in disbelief, not sure how to answer him. Angrily, Rick pushed past Beth and Michonne, reaching for the door and exiting the room quickly, slamming the glass behind him.

"I'm sorry," the woman said to the rest of them. "This loss of Watkins is great. He truly was our last hope. I'm so sorry I couldn't help you further." She smiled at them with pity, sadness deep in her eyes. "I wish you luck. I wish us all luck. It's up to God now."

"God ain't done nothin' for us so far," Daryl grumbled at her.

"What if, we helped you?" Daryl was surprised to hear Beth's voice, steady and strong, filling the room. She stepped forward, closer to the screen.

"How do you mean, help me?" the woman looked at her suspiciously.

"Help you," Beth responded. "Got you the information you needed. "All the equipment is here. Nothing's been touched. If we're all infected - can't we help you somehow? Just tell us what to do."

"Oh," the woman hesitated. "I don't think so. I can't do this without Watkins. I need him."

"Why not?" Beth pushed on. "Can't you try? Isn't it worth a chance? You can't give this up so easily." She was so determined. So fucking hopeful. He instantly felt how badly she wanted this to be a real possibility. "We're here now. We can help you. Let us help you."

The woman shook her head again. "I don't, I don't even know where to start. He was my mentor. He guided me through all of this."

"Then he'd want you to keep going," Beth said, stepped closer to the screen until she was close enough to touch it. The woman stared at her curiously. Daryl knew that feeling. Beth made you think. She made you keep going. She kept people determined. She was the light at the end of a dark, fucked up tunnel.

The woman looked flustered. "I can't promise you anything. It will be like starting over, without him." She suddenly looked very tired and sad, her shoulders slumping forward and Daryl realized she was on the edge of tears.

"You have nothing to lose," Beth said quietly, placing her hand on the screen.

"Twenty-four hours," the woman said with a sniffle. "Be back in twenty-four hours. I need to get sorted. I'll be able to tell when the power turns back on in the lab, and I'll be sure to be here at the same time tomorrow."

Daryl nodded and placed his hand on Beth's shoulder. "Tomorrow," he repeated. The woman nodded, and with that, the screen went black, leaving the group to themselves.

The silence was deafening, none of them quite knowing what to say. Michonne shifted, looking back out the door for Rick and she exited the room slowly, her face filled with worry and concern.

It was just Beth and Daryl again and suddenly, Daryl wasn't sure it had been real. He almost felt as though he might have just imagined or dreamt up what had happened - what they'd just heard, but when he looked at Beth, her eyes just as hopeful as ever, he knew it had been real.


	27. Chapter 27 - Hope

All I Ever Will Be

 **Chapter 27** \- Hope

 _ **Author's Note:**_ _I'm so sorry for the delay on this chapter. I sort of lost my muse a little bit and started another totally unrelated Bethyl fic. I think I will write a few more chapters on this one and find an end with a Part II in the future if there is any interest. (I'm thinking Part II would follow the group on a journey for the cure - still Bethyl centric with Richonne sprinkled in, possible other ships if they find more of the group *wink*.) Thoughts? Comments? Interest? Cookies?_

 _On another note, thanks so much to everyone who has stuck with this story - the reviews and follows and favorites are so, so appreciated! This fic has been a little bumpy for me. I hadn't written anything creative in years, plus trying to find Beth & Daryl's voices for the first time and not really knowing where I was heading with it was hard so all of the support has really kept me going. So, THANK YOU! I hope to write a lot more stories on here because it's a lot of fun! Anyway, sorry for this ridiculously long author's note and onwards to the remainder of the story!_

* * *

The sun was still shining when they reached the house again, pouring through the windows in the garage. Beth smiled when she saw it, feeling like her world had been turned upside down.

A cure.

It was hard to wrap her mind around, but hope had been ignited deep within her and she didn't want to let it go. She'd been through so much, and now, she thought, it was clear why. She was meant to be here with Daryl and Rick and Michonne and Carl and Judith and they were meant to find this place. Meant to help - maybe meant to change the world.

After they'd closed the bunker door and all settled back into the kitchen, Beth suddenly realized none of the others seemed to share her enthusiasm. She wasn't sure what she expected, but she expected more than this.

Rick sat at the table, shaking his head and running his fingers through his beard, talking quietly to Michonne. She was nodding her head, sitting next to him, looking concerned. Daryl hadn't made eye contact with her since they were downstairs in the lab and she found herself suddenly feeling out of place.

"You gonna say anythin'?" she directed it at Daryl, feeling angrier than she anticipated.

He grunted and shrugged, not really giving her an answer,

She felt confused and shrugged back at him. "What's that mean?"

"Dunno," he replied, looking uncomfortable.

"We just found out there might be a cure!" she said, raising her voice. Rick and Michonne broke apart, staring at her and she looked around at them bewilderedly.

"Isn't anyone gonna say anythin'!?" She was feeling hysterical now, looking around at the three of them, all of them looking at her. She glanced back at Daryl. Surely Daryl would understand that if there was any time to have an inkling of hope, this was it.

But Daryl just shook his head at her, looking at her sadly. "We didn't find out nothin'," he responded in a whisper. "Just somebody's word and you know that's not enough."

She suddenly felt her age. Like all the adults all knew something and she didn't because she was too young and too innocent. Too naive. Just little old Beth. Stupid and clueless. She'd felt that way at the prison sometimes. Beth can take the baby. Beth can wash the clothes. Beth can do the simple things, but not the hard ones. Those were left for Maggie and Carol and Daryl and Rick.

But when she was alone, out in the wilderness with Daryl, she'd grown. When they found the bunker and then the house and after Daryl got hurt, she'd grown even more. She could take care of herself. And she could take care of big, bad Daryl Dixon too.

But she couldn't shake the feeling, so she acted upon impulse and grunted frustratedly at all of them, Daryl in particular, hating that he was being so _rational_ about things. So she stormed out of the kitchen and upstairs to the bedroom. When she got there, she hated herself for reacting and the embarrassment overwhelmed her so she erupted into tears, throwing herself dramatically on the bed, getting under the covers, feeling tired and confused.

Everyone should be happy or at least hopeful, shouldn't they? Were they so far gone at this point that hope for a cure was so far beyond the realm of possibility? She didn't understand their reactions.

She ached for her father, closing her eyes to imagine his face. The edges were getting blurry. She wished she had a photo or something to really see him, not just in her mind. The thought of forgetting was scary. Hershel would have known what to say and how to handle it. He would have calmed her down and told the group to give this woman a chance and everything would have been okay.

He had believed in a cure as soon as the epidemic hit. "Mankind's been fightin' plagues from the start," he'd say. "It's nature correcting itself. Restoring some balance."

As the minutes went by, and she laid in the bed, feeling shittier by the minute, she wondered where Daryl was. Why hadn't he followed her? The doubt hit her like a train, and she felt foolish, lying in bed all curled up like a child throwing a temper tantrum. Of course he hadn't followed her, she was acting like a fool. She was acting her age and Daryl probably regretted getting stuck with her and kissing her and caring about her and making love to her. They were probably all down there right now, rolling their eyes at her, thinking it was a mistake to invite her down to explore the bunker with them.

She started to cry again, hating that she was so quick to emotion, but she couldn't help it. She'd told Daryl she didn't cry anymore at the prison, but that was a lie now. She was just a big ball of emotion, unable to hold anything inside.

On cue, the door creaked open and Beth froze, the covers practically over her head, faced towards the window. She heard him come in, closing the door gently behind himself.

"Beth?"

He said her name softly - apprehensively, like he was afraid of her. She didn't move or respond, staring towards the window.

She felt his weight on the bed next to her as he sat down. "I'm sorry," he said slowly.

Beth wondered if he even knew what he was apologizing for, because she sure didn't. "For what?" she mumbled, keeping her body still.

He shifted on the bed and she felt his fingers meet her back, tugging at the covers that she'd surrounded herself with. She let him slide them off of her slowly, but didn't face to turn him.

Instead of answering, he laid down next to her and the familiarity of his body behind hers calmed her slightly. Gently, he slid his hand over her waist and tugged her body closer to his. She felt his breath on her neck now, and chills spread down her spine and across her arms.

"I'm sorry that you're so accepting and that the rest of us aren't." She could tell he'd thought over what to say before he'd said it. "Nobody wants to get their hopes up," he said, his deep voice radiating through her body. "We ain't ready yet."

She let it resonate for a minute, but didn't answer.

"This place, it's almost too good to be true. We don't know what could come of this. If someone's watchin' us. If that woman's even real. If what she says is even real. If she'll even come back." He paused, like he was trying to wait for a reaction from her, but she kept still. "Just tired of bein' let down is all. We all are. We still need to be careful. If we get our hopes up and it all goes to shit again, then what?"

"Then we keep doin' what we've been doin!" Beth surprised herself as she spoke up, turning suddenly to break free from his arms. She sat up straight and faced him. "What's so wrong with that?"

"Beth," he said, sitting up next to her, his face getting flushed. "You gotta understand. It's likely nothin' will come out of this. And," he hesitated now, "I don't want to see you get your hopes up for something that may never be."

He thought she was naive, and maybe she was. She knew he was just trying to look out for her, but the initial feeling of hopefulness and happiness had been swept away and she was angry. "Easier to not care then?" she spat at him, turning away. "Easier to just accept things as they are, right?"

"That's not what I'm sayin' and you know it," he said, reaching for her.

She jerked away from him, feeling the tears coming again. "I haven't lost hope," she said in a whisper, looking up at him. He was giving her a look, like he was hurting for her but didn't know what to do. "Just, let me hold onto it, for a little while longer. Until I have a reason not to anymore."

He nodded at her, slipping his arm around her shoulder and bringing his face closer to hers. His lips touched hers gently and hesitantly and she leaned in to return the kiss, very much needing it in that moment.

* * *

Beth believed she could help find a cure. She was instantly trusting, instantly hopeful, and it terrified him.

Rick had been clear in his words to Daryl that night - he didn't trust the proclamation, or the woman, or this place. Michonne hadn't been swayed either way and Daryl? Well, he wanted to support the hope that was still left in Beth.

Initially, Daryl hadn't understood Rick's immediate distrust, but as he watched Rick bounce Judith in his lap and mess with Carl's hair, casting a longing look at Michonne as they all sat around the table to eat that night, he finally got it. If he put his faith in something like this - put his kid's faith into something like this and it turned out to not be true, it might destroy him.

Daryl thought that Rick had probably made peace with his children growing up in this world and accepted that things were the way they were. He couldn't control or fix those things so instead, he had built Carl to be a fighter and would do the same with his daughter. Teach them how to shoot a gun, how to kill, how to stay safe when things got bad. That was what Rick did and, Daryl thought, what any decent parent would do in this fucked up world. A cure threw a wrench in anything and everything they'd known and prepared for in the past two years.

Daryl, Rick and Carl cleared the plates and Beth bounced the baby on her lap talking quietly to Michonne at the table. Rick hadn't said much else since they came up from the bunker so when they were done cleaning up and everyone else was settled at the table, enjoying some of the last bits of chocolate that was stashed in the pantry, Daryl motioned for him to follow him outside to the front of the house.

They wandered out the front door together, Rick taking a seat on the front steps, his head in his hands. Daryl took a seat next to him, looking up towards the sky. It was so dark and quiet here, eerily still. Like they were in another world.

"You okay?" Daryl managed to say, not looking at Rick.

Rick didn't answer, only nodded.

There was silence between them then and Daryl chewed on his lip thoughtfully. "Beth wants to go down there tomorrow. See what happens," Daryl said to him. "I'm gonna go with her."

Rick nodded again, looking at Daryl. "I thought she might," he said. "Thought you might too." Rick looked behind his shoulder, back at the door. "Michonne and I are thinkin' about going out on a run tomorrow with Carl," he said. "We're still missing half our group. Glenn, Carol, Maggie. Not sure I'm ready to start a new chapter until we find the rest of them…or at least know what happened to them."

"Sure you don't want me to come along?" Daryl asked, feeling guilty, though he knew he wouldn't leave Beth.

Rick smiled at him and put his hand on his shoulder. "No," he said sternly. "You stay here with Beth and Judith. Figure out what this all means." He shook his head and closed his eyes. "Just not sure I'm ready to accept any of this yet."

"I know," Daryl answered. "I got this."

"I know you do," Rick answered, leaning back on the stairs. "I have faith in you. You're a stronger man than I am."

Daryl wasn't sure that was true, but the words felt good all the same.

* * *

When he returned to the house, Beth, Michonne, Carl and Judith had already retired for the evening. She was in bed, her knees to her chest, reading a book, _The Island of Doctor Moreau_. Beth looked up at him as he came in, folding the corner of the page she was on, and putting it to the side.

"Hi," she said as he stepped into the room.

"Talked to Rick," Daryl said, going into the bathroom to wash his face and brush his teeth, pulling off his shirt in the process. "Michonne and him are goin' on a run tomorrow with Carl. They wanna look for the rest of the group."

She didn't answer and he couldn't see her from where he was, so he continued to speak. "Wants us to stay here with Judith. Told him we wanted to see what happens downstairs in that lab."

"They don't wanna be here?" Beth asked, her voice sounding small from the bedroom.

"Not sure Rick's ready," Daryl answered honestly. She didn't say anything more, so he finished up what he was doing in the bathroom, stripped down to his boxers and climbed into bed.

Beth looked at him, studying his face, her wide eyes scanning every detail, and then, she pounced on him, her hands making their way to his shoulders before he knew what was happening. Her mouth was eager and hungry and when she climbed on top of him, he saw that like the night before, she only had on a t-shirt and panties.

"Beth," he tried to say her name as she devoured his mouth, her tongue forcing its way into his own, and he accepted it, letting her kiss him deeply. Her fingers were in his hair now as she brought her mouth down to kiss his neck and he shivered, his body feeling alive - every single nerve on fire.

"Daryl," she whispered in his ear, and he moved so that their cheeks met. "I love you."

"I love you too," he answered.

* * *

If the first time with Daryl was great, the second time with him was even better.

She'd been forward, needing to release the day somehow and she'd undressed quickly, forcing Daryl to do the same, both of their clothes falling into a heap on the side of the bed. They tumbled between the sheets together, kissing and playing, fondling and touching each other. Daryl was the perfect mix of gentle and rough, his fingers seeming to find the most sensitive spots on her body without even trying.

She had mounted him, feeling his thickness between her thighs and she was wetter than she'd ever been after what seemed like hours of his fingers between her legs and his mouth on her skin. She was ready for him again even though she could still feel their contact from the night before.

Beth slid down onto him easily, his cock spreading her wide and she watched his face as he closed his eyes and exhaled a breath of pleasure. She rode him without really thinking, the friction sending deep jolts of electricity through her very core. He was grabbing her now, his hands on her arms, then on her back, finally making their way to her ass, pulling her towards him, then pushing her back again.

The friction between them picked up rhythm, her sensitive spot slapping against him, her breasts swinging with the rhythm of their grinding. She liked watching him - the faces he made as she made him feel so, so good, but she liked tasting him even more. In the moment, she took his bottom lip in between her teeth, tugging gently. He smiled mischievously, grabbing her body, lifting her up and placing her gently back on the bed to get on top of her.

"God Beth," he growled at her, nuzzling his face into her neck as he drilled into her body. "You feel so good."

She gasped, feeling his fingers on her clit, rubbing her exactly where she needed, pushing her body towards the edge, his shaft moving rhythmically inside of her and she lost it all at once, arching her back and letting herself go with Daryl still inside of her. And he lost it too, she could feel him, the last rough thrusts inside of her before his body shuddered on top of hers and he released himself and collapsed, his breathing heavy and uneven.

Beth was flushed, her thighs sticky from a mix of their sweet juices, but she didn't care. Instead she nestled up next to him, Daryl Dixon, the man she loved and kissed him lightly on the chest.

"We're gonna be okay, right?" he asked her suddenly and she lifted her head to look at him curiously. "No matter what happens tomorrow?"

"Don't ask that," she said seriously. "'Course we are."

He nodded, closing his eyes, his arms around her, pulling her tighter to his body and they fell asleep, dreams of the day ahead filling their minds as they slept.


	28. Chapter 28 - All I Ever Will Be

**All I Ever Will Be**

 **Chapter 28** \- All I Ever Will Be

* * *

The air was warm. Too warm, for the lab.

The guns were there for emergencies, so only she and two others had keys. Seemed stupid, really, to lock up the guns. The world had ended and they'd locked them behind bulletproof glass for "safety" reasons.

She didn't know what time it was. They'd tried to keep track but the clocks shitted out one too many times to say for sure. But it was dark and then sun would be up soon.

It was hopeless, she knew. She felt sorry for giving them hope, but they had to know - didn't they, that the world was hopeless? With Watson gone, there was just no use going on anymore.

The gun was heavy in her hands. It had been a long while since she'd held a loaded weapon. But her hands were steady as she stuck it in her mouth. The tears felt warm, sticky almost, against her palms. Crying. What use would that do her now?

Finger on the trigger, she pulled. It was like flipping a switch, or pushing a button or turning a handle on a door. That simple. Except with this motion, she released a bullet. It soared upwards, through her brain - a clean hole. A clean death.

* * *

As promised, Daryl went down to the bunker with Beth the next day.

Beth had been eager, her eyes shimmering with excitement, her body wiggling into loose jeans and a new shirt as Daryl dressed. He admired the eagerness Beth had. The hope. There was such little hope left in this world that it was a precious thing to see, let alone _feel_. He only wished he felt the same way.

It wasn't like he didn't want to. Of course he wanted to hope. But he knew the chances of anything happening with the scientist was slim - he could see it in her face. Disappointment. She had given up as she'd heard the news. And although he wanted to protect Beth, he needed to be there for her at this moment.

When the two of them had come downstairs, Rick and Michonne sat at the kitchen table, pouring over the blueprints of the house's property. Carl was feeding Judith directly from a large jar of applesauce, and Judith was grinning at him wildly with food running down her tiny chin. Daryl couldn't help himself - he smiled widely when he saw her.

He wondered if Judith would have hope like Beth did. Hope seemed so fragile, something only the innocent still carried with them. Though Beth had killed, she still carried that light around with her, no matter how dulled it might have gotten. It was still something you couldn't ignore. Daryl wondered how long Judith would have hers. He looked at Rick then, his face determined and stoic, Michonne looking at him steadily, though with affection. He knew this group would do whatever it took to keep that hope alive in Judith.

Beth had wandered into the pantry to grab them breakfast, throwing Daryl another wrapped granola bar and stuffing one for herself in her pocket.

"You goin' on a run today?" she asked suddenly, looking at Rick.

Rick looked up from the blueprints. "We are," he responded. "Goin' to see if there's any sign of the rest of the group."

Beth nodded. "We'll keep a good eye on Judith," was all she said.

There were no words about the bunker. The lab. The scientist. Beth had understood it wasn't going to be talked about unless something happened.

The rest of breakfast was quiet - slightly awkward. They'd been reunited and were now about to split up again. It seemed like suicide. They ignored it, like a family would if someone got too drunk at dinner. Avoided it.

Beth showed Rick, Michonne and Daryl the gun closet she had found in the study - few spare bullets, but nothing more. Then, her and Daryl helped them each pack a backpack full of supplies for their run, in case they were gone for a few days.

When it came time to leave, they all squeezed each other goodbye and Rick, Michonne and Carl exited the front door with Daryl swinging it shut behind them, locking himself, Beth and Judith in. And that was that. As quickly as they'd come, they'd left - in search of the rest of their team.

Daryl came into the kitchen where Beth was holding Judith and smiled at the two of them, the realization coming into his brain that they were alone. In the house. Like a family would be. Marriage. Kids. That had never been in his plan, but suddenly, standing there in the doorframe, watching Beth without her knowing, playing with that baby, he'd never wanted anything more in his life.

The bunker was cold. Beth had never realized how cold it was. It was strange to her. Georgia never really felt cold. But the bunker was cold and so was she. So she squeezed Judith to her chest and the baby tangled her fingers in Beth's blonde locks, tugging gently with a few coos.

Daryl led the way to the lab and Beth wished he would say something, but he didn't. She knew he didn't want to get her hopes up. He didn't want her to be disappointed, but she had to understand more. There had to be an end to this story. There just _had_ to be.

The lab seemed father than it had been the last time they'd traveled there. Daryl pushed open the door they knew was there to reveal the circular room they'd left the day before. Beth entered, her eyes wide, watching as the lights flickered on. Though it was the second time they'd been in the room, it was still equally as impressive as the first time they'd seen it.

Beth beelined immediately for the small room with all of the monitors, although it was earlier than the woman had said she'd been there, Beth wanted to be down here, waiting - just in case. The lights breathed alive as she came into the small room, and she sat down on the floor, waiting, with Judith in her lap.

She could see Daryl outside the room, exploring, turning over beakers in his hands and opening cabinets loudly, trying to see if he could find anything they'd missed the day before. His footsteps were heavy, even on the concrete.

Time moved, though if it was slow or quick, Beth wasn't sure. Being underground was so incredibly disorienting, she couldn't tell if minutes or hours had passed.

Judith had fallen asleep in her arms when Daryl finally came into the room.

"Hey," he grunted, sitting down on the floor with her.

"Find anything good?" Beth asked.

He shook his head. "Nothin' but science stuff."

Beth smiled at him. "How long you think we've been down here?" she asked quietly.

Daryl shrugged. "Not sure," he said. "Why? You gettin' hungry? I can go up to grab us somethin' to eat."

Beth gave him a small grin. "Would you?" she asked

He nodded, then leaned forward to kiss her, pressing his lips gently to hers. It was casual and delicate in a way - much different than the kisses they'd shared the night before. Beth flushed as she thought of them together, already eager for the next time.

Pulling away, Daryl left them, getting to his feet with a grunt and disappearing.

Judith's hair was wispy and Beth stroked it with her fingertips, singing gently: _I fell into the ocean, when you became my wife. I risked it all against the sea to have a better life. Marie you're the wild blue sky, and men do foolish things. You turn kings into beggars and beggars into kings._

* * *

When Daryl finally forced Beth to come upstairs with Judith, it was dark outside. The sun had been down for some time. He could tell because the grass was cold as he came outside to circle the property.

"Tomorrow," Beth had said, as she put Judith to sleep in their room. "Tomorrow she will come."

Daryl only nodded at her, grunting that he was going to check the perimeter before they want to bed for the night. Rick, Michonne and Carl hadn't returned but that was to be expected. He wasn't ready to keep fueling Beth's hope, yet he knew that he had to.

She was asleep by the time he came back upstairs and he felt guilt rise within him, unsure of how long he had been outside. It could have been a minute, or two hours - he couldn't tell. It was like time escaped them in this place.

The next day passed, though Beth's hope didn't waver. Though, as night came, and Michonne and Rick and Carl hadn't returned, Daryl's anxiety kicked in.

Two days passed after that and they felt long and heavy and sadder as each hour soared by and Daryl watched the woman he loved watch, hopelessly, towards a black monitor. He wondered if they'd imagined her - the woman who promised them a cure. He wondered if Carl and Rick and Michonne were still alive. He wondered if Beth would ever want to have a baby with him. And he felt guilty wondering about the last one.

One final day passed before Beth gave up, the hope drained from her eyes as she dragged herself up the metal staircase back into the massive house where they had been living. Daryl hated himself then, as he watched her from a distance, lay Judith to sleep and climbed into bed herself, not bothering to even take her shoes off.

"Beth?" he called her name, coming around the side of the bed to help her. He might not be good with this whole love thing, but even he knew she needed him noq. She laid in the bed, motionless, watching him as he ever so gently pulled off her boots, then her pants, leaving her in underwear and a shirt. She rolled over on him then, her face on folded hands, her tiny body shuddering as she cried herself to sleep.

Daryl climbed in beside her, wrapping his arms around her, knowing it was what she needed and he held her until the sun came.

Judith was crying, but Beth couldn't move. She couldn't open her eyes. She couldn't even be warmed with Daryl behind her.

It was over. Her hope was gone - shattered. She felt like nothing mattered.

She felt Daryl stir and climb out of bed. The crying soothed, and she heard him speaking to Judith in his deep voice. And then, they were gone. He had gone to feed her downstairs and Beth drifted away to sleep again.

When she finally opened her eyes, it was dark and she heard new voices downstairs. Michonne, Rick and Carl. She strained her ears to hear any sign of Glenn or Maggie, but heard nothing. Gone for a week with nothing to show for it. It was even worse that Beth and Daryl had nothing to show for their time away either.

She fell asleep again, and she wasn't sure for how long this time. It felt like days. Each time she woke, she felt like crying. So she'd sob, her body heaving in the bed, the shock overwhelming, the sadness suffocating, and then she'd sleep again, her body unable to cope.

Daryl would wake her occasionally, trying to rouse her to eat anything. He made her soup, oatmeal, pasta, even brought up the last bits of chocolate, but nothing seemed worth it.

* * *

Daryl was awake.

He couldn't stand it - Beth being like this. And nothing he was doing seemed to make it better.

So he had retreated into the garage. If food and water and holding her wouldn't work, maybe this would. He was doubting himself. Maybe she would think it was dumb. Maybe she would hate it. But he had to try.

There was a tool bench with a working light in the garage with various tools that looked so new he doubted they were ever used. Daryl had found plenty of coins in the house - the man, Watson, had been rich, there was no doubt about that, and so he started his project in the middle of the night, confident Beth and Judith would stay asleep as he worked.

He took a hammer and smoothed the edges of the coin carefully, then took a drill bit and hammered it down in the center, creating a hole. Then, over the course of a few hours he enlarged the hole in the center, sanded it down so that it was smooth, inside and out. He did it twice. A large one and a small one. Wedding rings. One for him and one for Beth.

"Beth?"

She heard him in her dream. In the dream she was in the rainforest, surrounded by green trees and the earthy smell of rain. The air was damp, though slightly refreshing. The moisture around he hid the fact that she had been crying. She knew it wasn't real, but it felt real enough. She had been searching for something, but had forgotten what it was.

Again, as he did in most of her dreams, Daryl came up beside her and called her name. "Beth?" He was touching her shoulder now.

She looked at him, the man she had fallen so deeply in love with. "I'm sorry Daryl," she said.

"What?"

The dream broke and Beth opened her eyes. Sunlight was pouring through the window and Daryl sat on the bed next to her, his hand stroking her hair. His other hand was closed in a fist.

"Sorry," she echoed what she'd said in the dream, because she meant it. It was enough. What would Maggie think? Or Hershel? They'd be ashamed that Beth was still acting like she had at the farm. Like she hadn't grown at all.

Daryl shook his head and watched her as she sat up in bed. "Don't you be sorry. I'm sorry," he said. "I couldn't protect you from this."

"How could you protect me?" Beth asked, instantly feeling guilty. Of course Daryl would eat up the blame. That's what he did - he thought everything was his fault.

"I got somethin' for you," Daryl said slowly, opening his hands.

They were metal circles, smooth and shiny - contrasting against Daryl's tanned skin, the sunlight reflecting off of them. Beth's heart jumped and her stomach went to her throat as Daryl slid off the bed and kneeled on the side, grabbing Beth's hands so she was forced to come to the edge, sitting with her legs dangling over the side.

He looked at her, his eyes so blue and bright beneath his dark hair that he tried to brush away from his face. "Beth Greene," he said gruffly, visibly nervous. "I don't know much, but I thought I was just supposed to be some no good redneck for the rest of my life. Even after the world ended, I wasn't good for nobody. Angry at the world. Never thought this would be how my life worked out, you know? But now I know, _all I ever will be_ is meant to be with you. Love you. Take care of you."

Beth felt like she couldn't breathe, as he paused and then said, "Will you marry me?"

Her face broke into a wild smile, the sadness slowly pouring away from her chest, and she nodded forcefully at him. "Yes!" she cried, watching Daryl as he smiled then, sliding the ring over her finger and the one he'd made for himself over his own. And then she tackled him, jumping into his arms, her hands around his neck and he was kissing her and she was kissing him, rolling around like two kids in the grass.

When they finally came to a stand still and Beth had stopped crying, they just sat together, Beth's legs over Daryl's, facing each other. She'd laid her head on his shoulder, listening to his heart beat - just _being_.

"I love you," he whispered, fingers in her hair.

"I love you too."

There was no cure. There was no solution. It had floated away in the distance, but _this,_ Beth realized, was enough. Not because it had to be. Not because she needed a distraction or something to cling on to, but because it was what was meant to be. Her and Daryl, as long as the world allowed it.

 **—FIN—**


	29. Chapter 29 - Epilogue

**All I Ever Will Be**

 **Epilogue**

* * *

The sun was hot as Beth worked in the garden, plucking a ripe tomato to place in one of the baskets she'd woven. Judith tottered behind her - three years old now, give or take.

"Tomato," the child said smartly, her wide eyes looking up at Beth.

Beth nodded. "That's right," she said with a smile. "Want to try one?"

Judith nodded eagerly, so Beth picked another, smaller one, off the vine and held it out to the toddler with outstretched arms. She bit into the squishy vegetable, releasing fresh juices that squirted to the sides and down her chin. When Beth took the tomato away, her bite mark was perfectly round. Beth herself took a bite, the flavor exploding on her tongue. She savored it.

Fresh tomatoes. She couldn't get enough of them, especially right now.

Her cravings were getting to her. Only a few weeks left now until the baby came. They'd all been prepared for weeks. Well, everyone except Daryl. Beth wasn't sure how he was going to handle things when she went into labor. The man who was once afraid of nothing, was now definitely afraid of _something_.

She smiled to herself as she saw him come around the garden - tall, strong and burly, still somehow looking sweaty and dirty. He never seemed to be able to wash that layer of dirt off. And Beth didn't mind it in the least.

"Beth," he said sternly. "Shouldn't be out here in the hot sun. C'mon inside. Carl can come out and collect the tomatoes."

Beth frowned. She _was_ uncomfortable. She felt large and bloated and the baby's elbow was in her bladder, but she wouldn't tell Daryl that. He'd sweep her right up and plop her into bed and she definitely didn't want that. "I don't mind," she said. "Few more weeks and I won't even be able to walk straight. Might as well enjoy it while I can."

Daryl stared at her, his mouth twitching, like he wanted to say something, but didn't. He only nodded, agreeing with her, his pregnant wife. "Least let me help you lovely ladies," he said, coming around to scoop Judith into his arms. She squealed with pleasure as threw her gently into the air, catching her with strong hands.

"You're gonna be such a great Daddy," Beth said, watching the two of them and Daryl swept down to kiss her then - a simple, gentle kiss, but always filled with longing for Beth. They'd created a life here, with Rick, Michonne, Carl and Judith and it was more than any of them could ever have dreamt of.

Safety was never a guarantee, but they had planned for all types of circumstances, made a thriving garden, stockpiled food and ammo and medical supplies. They took shifts of securing the perimeter, going on runs and although Beth often thought of her older sister and Glenn, the pain had since settled and she had accepted it, like she had accepted so many other things in this life.

Things were good. They were living a life. They had each other, and soon, a new life. And that was more than enough for Beth.

* * *

 _ **Author's Note:** If you've made it to the end - thank you for reading! Unfortunately my muse ran off into a complete other direction and decided to abandon me at the end, for which I apologize! I was determined to finish though, and I'm really proud that I did! I can't appreciate the favorites, follows and reviews enough. This story was the beginning of my journey back into writing and I'm so thrilled to be jumping into the amazing TWD fandom. Thanks for having me - for reading, for showing your support. You guys are wonderful and lovely. _


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